A
female
age
30-35,
*idsummer
writes:This guy and i have been hanging out for a month and a half, and we have been enjoying our time together, we go out all the time, we are affectionate towards each other, in other words we act like were together. I really want to be with him, because i already feel like were there, and that's the only thing we need to make things serious. Plus, you never know what could happen in the future, maybe I could leave with him later on or something else. I have told him this, and he has agreed, but that he is worried since he'll be leaving in a year. The question is should I start a serious relationship with him, or should I just remain friends and act like were together??thanks Reply to this Question
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (28 October 2013):
 I say go for it. Sounds like he is using his plans to leave as an excuse to not be with you though. So be careful, he might not be sincere. A year is a looong time.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2013): I had the same thought. A year is a long time. Had a great year. Fell apart when he left. Broke up. Have never been so hurt. It is so difficult a question to answer, because ultimately it is your decision.I was with my first bf a year before he left, had no idea he was moving away for uni, we stuck it out and got to the four year mark before we broke up because of the distance.Next bf I KNEW would be leaving, I got attached anyway and here we are, all broken hearted and distraught.I will never ever be in a LDR again. Sometimes it really isn't worth it. And if he is worried about it already... That doesn't shout good omen to me. Some people are happy in LDR, but I think ur better off without. If it is meant to be you'll cross paths again, but the pain isn't worth it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2013): Please do not attach your feelings and emotions to someone you already know will be leaving. Surely you have read the posts of so many young women who insist on trying to carry-on long-distance relationships with guys.They are agonized by the sporadic or decreasing communication. Tortured by trying to figure-out how his feelings may be changing; and whether or not he's seeing someone else in the meantime. Your life will be on hold trying to stay connected with his. He'll get tired of text messaging and always trying to ease your loneliness for his absence. He'll want to have fun with other people and make friends; who will also demand his time.Long-distance relationships seldom work. You'll be given advice offering romanticized accounts how people held out and found love. Reality is going to teach you what real misery is. It's hanging on trying to love someone who isn't there to be with you. You can put all the effort in the world into trying to cling to someone who will be constantly tempted by loneliness to see other people. At your age; waiting is torture. Why subject yourself to it? You know better.Maintain friendship over social media. Continue to date other young men. If it's meant for this young man to return to you someday, it will be.All your time and attention will be focused on trying to keep in-touch. A love-relationship maintained through social media using electronic devices. What real quality of life does something so artificial and void of human-emotion really offer?I don't care what some device-junky might tell you! There is no substitute for having your boyfriend local and available. You'd prefer holding his hand; to holding his image in the palm of your hand. Waiting for visits and relying on his finding time to come see you; when he misses family, friends, and other people while away.Please don't center your life around trying to hold on to a young man who is going to be leaving and starting a new life somewhere else. while he is away; life will offer new changes and opportunities. He'll often seem distracted by your attempts to communicate.He will be pulled in too many different directions to offer you all the attention you deserve. It's harder when you aren't right there. He's a young man, and he will be around many eligible young women right where he'll is.You'll find other young men; who'll be just as interested to be with you.You'll become tempted to uproot your life; to live with, or closer to him. Following some guy wherever he goes; is too often a bad choice young women make. They offset or delay their own future ambitions and dismiss their own opportunities, putting some guy first. Letting romantic feelings override practicality, and making poor life-altering impulsive decisions. I just responded to another OP who married someone and she moved to another country. Leaving her family and life behind. She's lonely and very unhappy. She put him first.Don't change your life to chase after other people. Design a life that will promote your own freedom and happiness. You're too young to subject your life to all that worry and tension.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (28 October 2013):
 At your age a year is a very long time... why not just go with the flow and not label it and let what happens happens....
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