A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am in my late 20 s and have a 5 year old son. I was very thin when I got married 112 lb with 5.4 height. I was always getting attention from guys, though was called skinny sometimes. Now after divorce and my pregnancy I gained 25 lb. I am not overweight by any means, excersize regularly, and in good shape. And because I am single again I started going out almost every other weekend when my son is with his father. My girlfriends are all my age but never had any kids, and much thinner than me. Some are just a little over. A 100 lb. I noticed without a doubt that they get much more attention from guys than me. I know them for years since high school, and we were always equally pretty with equal attention from men. Now, it's a big difference. When I am in their presence I feel like I am invisible. I went on couple of dates, and one of them stupidly told me that though I am beatifull but he prefers a little thinner girls than me. Well, that was the end of that date but it made me thinking. I started ,interviewing, men around me, like my brother, his friends, co- workers, and I also went on line. Everybody give me the same answer: no bones, they like curves. I AM curvy, my boobs became 2 sizes bigger after nursing, I have thin waist and nice butt. So, the theory is much different from reality. My skinny, all bones girlfriends get attention all the time, but me very occasionally. Last winter I had a real bad flu, and couldn't eat anything for 2 weeks. I lost 10 lb, my face looked exhausted, I had dark circle around my eyes, but... I looked much thinner than I am now. Before I gained this all back, that was my month of glory. I could see how guys started talking to me again and ask me out. So, what is the reality? Do you guys like very thin girls or you like curves?
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (2 November 2013):
 OP,
I'm 53 years old now. I'm also a lovely 5'2" I used to weight nearly 300 pounds and wore a size 24/26 and still got lots of attention from men.
I had gastric bypass and got down to what for me was a scrawny size 4 and did not get a lot of attention from APPROPRIATE men... sure men looked at me but it was not positive attention..
I picked up some weight and now I'm a size 10/12 but at 5'2" I carry a bit more weight than I should. Partially due to age and disability. And yet men are very much in want of me. I know it's how I carry myself. I know it's how i put myself out there.
I had men at 300 pounds stand in line to be with me (I was a swinger and went to parties and was one of the more popular women there even older and larger than some of the other ladies)
I have more attention than I care to admit... got hit on the other day in yoga pants and no make up... by a much younger guy.. I went home and told hubby (age 40 btw) in amazement and he just laughed.. he doesn't understand why I don't see myself as totally desirable.
When I'm dressed and I know I look good I get why men look... but in yoga pants with NO makeup?
You are young and have big boobs and wear a size 8 (average size in the US is size 14 btw) you are not big at all dear...
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2013): Thank you all for your answers!! Of course different men like different types of women, I was just writing about my observation and how it reflected on me. I was more popular when I was thinner, and may be some of you are right, it's coming within me. I was very skinny at 112lb, because I am not a thin build. I looked kind of bony. When I had my baby, I actually loved how my hips became round, and finally I had a butt which until then was hardly there. CMMP, I am exactly your ex's size, 36D, size 8 US, in some clothes 6. I was not considering myself big or anything even remotely close to it , until I started going out again, and suddenly this comment, and then I can see it obviously lack of attention as it was before. It's not thati want to go back to my old size 2, I am perfectly happy on how I look, it's just I think that I am not to what is considered hot right now. Sageoldguy, your answer is not really helpfull :). THAT we girls know very well.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (1 November 2013):
 "Mer å ta i, mer å bli glad i"
Translates to: More to hold on to, more to love.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (1 November 2013):
Sageoldguy forgot what many men say "Bone is for the dog MEAT in for the man"
totally depends on POV.
I'm a woman who prefers my men and women a bit "thick" as it's called around here.
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (1 November 2013):
 Do you really think that all men like the exact same body type? Really?
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female
reader, chigirl +, writes (1 November 2013):
I think this is all in your head. You don't get much attention from guys when you go out because you probably aren't putting yourself out there, being available, being open to contact. You just got out of a relationship, and you have a child, and these things show on your face and your body language. No matter your weight, your girl friends are getting more attention because they don't have children, and maybe they are single, at least not married for years, or what? They are in the game, they flirt and strut their stuff. But you, you're probably closed up, you already have theories about why you don't get attention, you get very hung up on ONE comment ONE guy gave to you. Which, in all honesty, wasn't to say you are too big. You were not HIS type, and why is that a negative?? Every single other man you've asked have literally said you are their type.
You can't be everyones cup of tea. That's something you ought to know. Remind yourself of that. Not every man is going to find you attractive. Same as not every man is going to find your friends attractive.
This is just like when you want a dog, you see dogs everywhere. When you want to be married you see weddings everywhere. You want male attention, so you see males giving attention to every woman around you, but yourself. It's just psychology. Not fact.
When you're ready to flirt and enjoy life and NOT be out man-hunting, when you send out positive vibes that say you like who you are (as opposed to now, where you're actively searching for flaws), you will see that men pay you a lot of attention too.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2013): I think that extra weight on short girls looks unnatractive. You can tell the difference from when they're naturally curvy and to when they've just added weight. But that's just my personal preference, I mainly fancy tall girls so I guess I'm more picky when it comes to short girls.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2013): it depends on the guys.
it also depends on how you carry yourself. Self confidence is sexy - if you're hung up about size or second guessing what guys think of you you'll be less attractive than your friends who think they look great.
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female
reader, llifton +, writes (1 November 2013):
 I love curves! I can't go for a skinny girl. I think men who go for skin and bones are crazy! There's so much more to move about a girl with hips and boobs! To each their own, though, I suppose.
Evolutionarily speaking, one would think men would prefer girls with curves, as it means they would be able to have their babies. Where as skinny women couldn't.
I think maybe the problem lies in what men versus women consider "curvy." Men don't always know what women's bodies are naturally like. So to them, what you consider a skinny girl may not be skinny to them. Or what you consider curvy, they may not. make sense?
Either way, you sound beautiful, so don't worry about it! That guy who made that comment is an asshat.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (1 November 2013):
 WE guys often repeat that old cliche: "The closer to the bone, the sweeter the meat"....
HOWEVER.... when it comes down to actually getting a little, we are surprisingly flexible... as long as there is a pu$*y involved.....
Good luck....
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (1 November 2013):
I was very obese. I had gastric bypass and lost a lot of weight.
I got down to a slender (no fat on me) size 6 can't go by my weight because I looked like I weighed 110 and folks including doctors were shocked by how much I did weigh.
I subsequently got sick and lost another 10 pounds and I was skeletal. My husband kept feeding me in my sleep. I know why.. he thought I was too thin and wanted me to gain... so I did. I gained too much now I need to lose about 15-20 pounds... and he says I'm PERFECT...
my male friend yesterday told me when I was at my thinnest I was looking frail and scrawny... MOST adult males I know want women with some weight to them... my son seems to always date size 14 or larger... girls with hips and butts and boobs are normal and natural...
perhaps it's how you carry yourself? I know for a fact that on days I feel thinner and think I look better that I get way more attention and my weight does not change.
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male
reader, CMMP +, writes (1 November 2013):
My wife is about 5'2" 110 pounds, and I think she looks great. She's got a few extra pounds around her stomach from having two kids, but it doesn't bother me.
If I had to choose, I'd prefer curvy. Not necessarily big boobs, but some meat is a turn on depending on how a woman carries it. I don't care for it spilling over her pants to be quite honest.
It's possible that you are one of those people that looks significantly better at one particular weight. I have an ex gf who was quite curvy; 36d size 8 with a nice round butt. She looked great and got tons of attention from guys.
Awhile after we broke up she sent me a picture in a bikini and she had lost some weight. She was rightfully proud of herself and loved the way she looked, but I didn't think she looked near as attractive as she used to.
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female
reader, R1  +, writes (1 November 2013):
 Everyone is different. Obviously some men prefer thin girls, that is a ridiculous question! Either learn to love your body how it is or lose weight. Do it for you, not to get a few more compliments from men.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2013): Anywhere between slim and chubby. I don't like skinny girls or morbidly obese ones. If you're healthy, I'm up for getting to know you.
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