A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm having a major love crisis. One of my best friends likes a guy and she has liked him longer than I have. Apparently I like him to and he likes me back. I haven't told her yet and I have talked to other people I trust and I have gotten different reactions,so I was hoping I can get a clear answer as what I am supposed to do.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2013): While I in general agree with the other aunts, I think it my answer depends on some of the facts about your situation. For example, do you think that your friend would also stay away from him out of respect for you? It's a 2 way thing and 'I saw him first' doesn't come into it. I also think it depends how much you both know the guy and the depth of feelings involved. If she has known him for ages and has genuine feelings for him, that's much more likely to hurt her than if he's a random guy she's seen around and she thinks he's hot. Similarly, if you and the man are already really close friends and you think that it could be the real thing, then it's maybe worth the risk. Whereas if it's just a crush or a casual fancy for him then I'd never risk a friendship for that.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (4 November 2013):
 FRIENDS are harder to come by than lovers.
NEVER let a man come between you and a good girlfriend...
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (4 November 2013):
 If you like the guy more than you like your friend then go for it.
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A
female
reader, KC12 +, writes (4 November 2013):
 I am in agreement with Chigirl on this one. Your friendship is certainly more valuable than a boy you are suddenly intersted in.I think you need to look at it this way: Your friend--specifically your best friend--has liked this guy for a significantly longer period of time. You, knowing this fully well, suddenly find yourself interested in this fellow. Why now are you suddenly interested in him? Ask yourself that, seriously. You may be surprised at what you find out.It could be that you have a competitive streak. Some women do. I'm not saying that is good or bad. But that could be all that it is...and, you don't want to lose your friendship over competing for a guy. Are you only interested in him because he likes you? If so, than you are liking him because he is "obtainable" and IMO that is not a very good reason. My mother calls that "settling" and that's kind of sad. Especially, if that will hurt your friend.Also, Some women evaluate their own looks or self-worth based on comparison to other people. Remove your ego from the situation. You might see things differently if you do...Finally, put yourself in your friends shoes, and think about how you would feel in her place...It all boils down to what your friendship is worth. And, apparently it is worth you coming here asking for advice and you are being considerate of your friend's feelings. That being said, I think you already know the right answer. ;) Hope this helps. ;)
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A
female
reader, Keeley345  +, writes (4 November 2013):
Don't let a guy come between you and your friend. You don't have to tell her he likes you just don't start anything romantic with him. Keep your distance from him and focus on your friendship. Is it worth losing a good friend...possibly, over this?
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (4 November 2013):
 So.. You like this guy. He likes you, you think. Doesnt sound like you will be missing out on the greatest lovestory ever.
She is your best friend. Friends come waaay before boys you merely "like". So check with her first, and dont be so ready to throw friendship away for the sake of a boy you think might like you (he might also just want sex, and then dump you and you no longer have friends...)
A cute boy is never worth it.
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