A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey dear cupiders, I'm not sure if this is an appropriate place to ask but not sure where else to ask and since this site has helped me before I thought it may help again.I've been seeing this guy for a few weeks now and he really turns me on, last night we decided to do some stuff and it was really enjoyable and I got hard and so did he, but I couldn't ejaculate, no matter how badly I wanted to. I really enjoyed what he was going and it felt great but I feel embarrassed that I couldn't cum, we tried once at night and we did stuff again in the morning and it just wasn't happening. He came both times but I couldn't, I don't care if I don't cum, but I just feel embarrassed because it looks like he isn't doing something right when in reality he is doing everything perfectly and it makes me feel really good.I just not sure what's happening because I am able to cum on my own and I'm not sure if it's to do with anxiety or if it's to do with me.Any help would be much appreciated
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (1 February 2014):
 Was this your first time ever, or just first time with this partner?
I've had three virgins, and none of the could come the first time. The feelings was just too new, too different, too strong, they were having a great time and enjoyed themselves, felt amazing and all, but couldn't get an orgasm.
It's also a normal reaction for the first time with a new partner, there is so much excitement, so much going on, so many new feelings, touches etc. Especially if there are feelings involved and you are in love, because another dimension is added to the sex, and it affects you more deeply.
In order to come, in most cases, you need to not only be stimulated, but also be relaxed and comfortable. Which is why so many women have a hard time reaching an orgasm, we take forever, get nervous the guy is getting bored, get nervous about how we look laying there with legs spread as if we were at the gynecologist.. It can feel awkward, even if it feels good. We get self conscious a lot. And so do many men. They are nervous, they think about what is expected of them, they don't want to let their partner down etc.
So, even if you and your new boyfriend had a great time together, and it felt amazing, it is natural that you didn't come. You don't always have to come, and in some cases it just doesn't happen. Maybe you felt too good. Maybe it was new and different. Maybe you were nervous. Could me many things, but all are normal reactions.
Give it time, enjoy the sex, and it will happen eventually.
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