A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:What are some helpful successful flirting tips for a shy girl without coming off as stupid, desperate, or anything else bad?...I have never I dated. I tend to say dumb thinks whenever around a guy I like. I've been asked by the wrong guys. I never flirted before so any flirting tips for an amateur?
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male
reader, Gauntlet  +, writes (11 February 2014):
 There are two ways to do things. Usually people take the bad way because it's way easier and can get "instant gratifications": this way consists in laughing a bit too much, using toadying, striking the pose throwing languishing glances... Said like that, it seems a little bit exaggerated, but that's really how it works, and it works well if you want to "fish" a guy, anyone would do it if your expectations are mostly based on appearances.The second way is better but requires a little skill. A skill in something you do really like to practice. It can be sport, craft, music, singing etc. If you look for somebody who happen to share one, two or three interests with you, you won't have to feel stupid flirting as you won't have to in the first place, your conversations will be natural and enriching. You won't have to simulate any interest for things that actually are boring for you, you won't have to go to place you don't like, you won't have to lose your time doing things HE likes to do, but instead you will spend pleasurably your time doing what you like to do with the person you like, growing together in love and culture.It's up to you.
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (10 February 2014):
 Being approachable is actually the best advice ever. Guys are told they are the ones who need to flirt, while women are supposed to sit idly by and wait. So by just being approachable you've done 90% of the job already.
Smile, make eye contact. By being approachable I mean you must make it soooo easy for a guy to come over and talk to you, without him being nervous, scared. Be easy-going, and they will feel at ease and not be scared to talk to you. Then let them do the flirting for you.
Everything can be learned, I had zero social experience as a young teenager, I started from scratch at 15. Like, I seriously did not know how how to talk to people, let alone boys. I observed, learned, tried and failed, and now flirting comes as naturally as breathing. It is also practical when working with customers, haha. Or if you need to talk your way out of a situation. Flirting is a practical skill indeed, and for me it's all about making that other person feel great about themselves. People are extremely attracted to those who make them feel special and great about themselves.
Guys love it when a girl admires him and makes him feel like the king of the hill. Just go "oh" and "ah" and be amazed by his knowledge/strength/smarts and you're good.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (10 February 2014):
 I do not believe that flirting can be learned. Either you are a flirt or you are not.
But you can learn to be more receptive to others...
Practice it with children... small babies like to smile at others... smile and wave at them... make them laugh... that's the first step.
when you see a guy you like.. get some eye contact... then smile before you look away... do not walk around always looking down... BE approachable...
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A
female
reader, Angel S  +, writes (10 February 2014):
 I've always been shy and I have had no problem chatting to guys, my friends have said I am a natural flirt even though I am quite reserved. This is because I have no idea I'm flirting and that's the point. Just be yourself.I'm not sure if you are referring to a college or club setting but either way a nice flirting tip I've always found works is eye contact. It's harmless and you won't be worried about falling over your words or something. Good eye contact is always a good sign of someone's interest towards you. Just hold it, smile and look away. If the guy likes you and is intrigued nine times out of ten he will approach you or your group of friends and try to mingle in that way. If you like someone you seem to convey a natural response to them in a 'flirty' way I guess. By smiling and laughing, asking questions, getting to know them and their friends if you're all out together. Flirting is easy just small simple gestures that don't have to lead to something if you don't want them too but a nice way to get an indication if someone you like shares the same interest.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 February 2014): In my opinion, I think you should just be yourself! If you're not a flirter, there's no need to start!
I've never had trouble finding guys myself and I don't flirt! I find it a bit fake. Just be nice to guys and ask them questions to show you're interested....and wear something that'll grab their attention (not too full on though!)Just be interested in what they're saying and keep the conversation flowing....that's all there really is to it :)
Good luck!
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A
male
reader, MikeEa1  +, writes (10 February 2014):
 the best flirt is physical touch, not sexual just a lingering hand on the face, arm and sometimes a look. Don't do sex in a hurry as it's not necessary.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 February 2014): smile a lot, laugh at jokes.maybe make up some jokes yourself.
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