A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I met this guy while he was on holidays with his friends where I live. We spent about a week together and we eventually slept together.I have plans to travel near where he is in three weeks and he suggested I stopped by where he is living so I made plans to go for ten days.After he left my city, we kept talking but I find it hard to read him.He is very shy, or at least he was with me, because he would blush whenever I talked to him and he was not exactly the best at flirting. He is extremely good-looking but I don't think he realized it. He would ask me out for walks but he wouldn't dare kiss me, etc. I was the one who made the first move and after that he was a complete gentleman, he would even ask me if it was okay if he used his phone for a minute because he had to check some e-mails, he was into cuddling and kissing after sex, etc etc. He even made plans to come back and see me in DecemberAnyway, I'm in a bit of a weird position because we've been sending each other messages for the past two months. We don't really chat, because he sends me a message about every three days. The messages he sends are really long, though, but sometimes he will just read them and not reply to them for ages and sometimes he is online but he doesn't even open the message I wrote. I'm not used to this. I forgot to mention I am 19 and he is 26, so it could perhaps be the age difference? (my generation being a bit more addicted to phones, maybe?). But I can't stop thinking this could be a sign of him not being that into me?When he does write, he doesn't say anything even slightly romantic or flirty to me. I am not sure if it's because he is trying to be a gentleman or what. He also made the effort to come up with an itinerary for my trip and he will even miss a whole week from school to accompany me.So, I am getting very mixed signals from him and I am not sure what to do when I see him. Should I kiss him? Or just awkwardly hug him? I would talk to him about it but I am guessing this could make things really uncomfortable.Any advice would be great. Thank you!
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (5 October 2014):
 My vote goes for: he is shy, and insecure. What good looking adult doesnt know he is good looking? The insecure one with low self esteem. Having been with several men like this, I would actually tell you to not pursue him. If hes too shy to make a move on, when you are a sure thing. Then he has serious insecurities so big you will end up finding it more and more problematic. Its already a problem. Oh, and he keeeps booking hostels because he wants to save money and also not be presumptious and make you think he wants to sleep with you again. Because he is soooo afraid of rejection, he doesnt want to risk a damn thing. Good luck trying to get a man like him to committ, because he sounds incredibly skittish.
Id enjoy his friendship unless he grows some balls. I pursued a man like this before too. I made all the moves. After a three year relationship he was still unsure if he should be my bf, always saying how he screwed things up, always putting himself down, never daring to make a move. He postponed moving in with me for over a year. Then he actuly vecame suucidal and got hospitalized, and we ended things. But he was just the sane as how you describe your guy.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2014): Some men are simply intimidated by beautiful women. If he's a geeky type he might not be that used to female attention. My mow husband was the same when we first started going out. But he relaxed after a few dates and all this charm and banter he'd been too nervous to show came out.
I say give him a chance. Don't be afraid to express yourself; it gives him the confidence to express his own feelings to you :-).
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2014): OP here again. Sorry, I am just realizing I left a lot of *possibly* important details out.
He met my family while he was here and even added them on Facebook, my mom included.
Hopefully this might make clear how confusing this is..
I've only ever had one boyfriend and casually dated guys around the same date as this one, but never once have I ever had such a hard time reading someone..
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2014): OP here.
I see where you are coming from, BUT, I forgot to add on my post that he insists on booking hostels instead of hotel rooms (since we are traveling all around), so that makes me feel he isn't really expecting a lot of sex from me either. Very confusing.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2014): He only wants sex from you, and he's not that into you. He may already have a girlfriend, and has to schedule when it's convenient to contact you.
He may even feel some guilt; because of your age, but you're coming on so strong, he's finding hard to pass up the sex. He isn't going to ever be that close to you; which explains no immediate replies to your messages, and his silence for long periods. You're a little too enthusiastic about having the attention of an older man. You don't know how to read him, because you're too young. You're his guilty pleasure, and you're too aggressive for your own good. You may take offense to my comments, but I think you need to slow it down.
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