A
female
age
51-59,
*issr
writes:I started a job a couple months ago. I work with a group of Christians. My boss is a woman and her boss, the big boss is one of the owners. He and I had a meeting the other day and after the meeting was over he asked me for a hug. I said okay and hugged him. As we were about to hug, he mentioned that he likes side hugs. This man is married and I am not sure if the hug was inappropriate. Prior to this the only physical contact he has made with me is a fist bump. Thoughts?
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (6 October 2014):
 i hug co-workers both male and female if the spirit moves me. I can't imagine hugging my team lead or my boss.
he ASKED first (very appropriate)
and then wanted a "side hug" (i know what it is but have never voiced it) which makes it IMO friendly and supportive but CLEAR it was platonic and supportive.
you have the right to say "i'm not comfortable with hugging at work"
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (5 October 2014):
 All I can say is I find it weird. BUT I'm NOT a hugger of people I don't know well. And hugging my boss's boss? Not really my style.
I don't even know what a side hug is, but I think he asked for one of those because they are not deemed inappropriate.
If you're NOT a hugger then stick to hand shakes.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (5 October 2014):
 Have you hugged anyone else in the office? Are you a hugger? At my old job, also with Christians, we hugged a lot. They were very informal at the office, no dress code, always hugs etc. But if you havent seen anyone else hug at your office, or if you just arent a hugger, you have the right to say no when asked for a hug. My old colleagues didnt hug me as often as they hugged one another, because they knew I m not such a touchy ferly oerson at the office. Just say no if you are uncomfortable.
I say it wasnt inappropriate if it was just this one hug. If things add on though, you can talk to a co-worker who has been there longer, to get advice.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (4 October 2014):
 Ahh, the fact that you call it a Christian business tells it all. Married guys giving side hugs are the church-chaste hugs, so I think it's alright. In church, it's usually appropriate for married men or women to side-hug as opposed to full-hug.
He was trying to be appropriate by side-hugging.
My only caveat would be that if the business is a Christian one, that the line between business and church isn't crossed. People hug in church...but maybe stick to hand-shaking in business if you don't prefer hugging??
Side-hugging *is* a Christianese thing.
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