A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend is into big girls sexually. Big blobs and bums and pretty faces, chubby girls. He watches porn of this variety and has told me it's a thing he has. Said he had sex with a fat girl once and didn't enjoy it at all. So why still the fantasy??? He encourages me to eat well and stay in shape as he works in the fitness industry and is into all that. I do anyway but I don't understand it. I have tiny boobies :-(
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female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (21 January 2015):
 I think actually your answer is in the last paragraph:
He works in the fitness industry.
Yes, he is into you, attracted to you, the whole package!
A lot of what guys choose is because of society rather than personal private fantasies. That's precisely why the term "trophy wife" was born, because you're someone he can show off to his colleagues, friends, that says "Look at her!"
For example, would you take fitness advice from a 460 pound person who wheezes as he or she talks, has powdered sugar residue on their clothes, and smells unhygienic?
Image is everything in some industries, and even though say the example I just set may very well be full of knowledge and graduated magna cum laude and knows the most, people often don't get past what they see.
Likewise, if he's in fitness, would people take him seriously if he was dating the 460 pound lady and spent time with her in public or at business functions?
Fat people turn him on, but you are the whole package. You turn him on AND make him look good.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2015): Haha, thank you Chigirl. I do fantasize I guess I don't act upon it because it would be very disturbing if I did...
I'm just insecure that I'm not enough (sizewise) for him! Which is another thing in itself!
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (21 January 2015):
 Haha, have you never had a fantasy yourself in your life? I encourage you to develop some, if you never had them. Try to use your imagination. I am quite sure an adult woman like yourself knows the difference between reality and fantasy, and why in fantasy something is wonderful, but in reality the wonderful is something quite different...
Fantasies are for your imagination and mind, they do not have to make sense, they just are. Fantasy is not linked to reality, really. If you've ever had a dream in your life, you'd know this. Just picture the common fantasy of riding bare back on a horse with a man on the beach, into the sunset, with the wind in your hair... ahh, so lovely an image... In reality? Sore bum, lots of bumping and you can barely hang on, hair in your eyes and nose, and sand everywhere, lol. And you're probably cold as well, haha! Quite a different experience. But in fantasy, it can be oh, so lovely.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2015): One day, in a better world, we will all learn that we have fantasy creatures that satisfy a curiosity, fetish, or a whim.
Then there is this person we love that we never thought would come into our lives. We love them just the way they are!
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A
female
reader, Sincerely Yours +, writes (21 January 2015):
 Somehow I read it as "boobs" anyway. Didn't even notice. ;)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2015): Op here. I meant to say big boobs not big blobs. That's a bit offensive lol.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2015): Thanks for your reaponse! It's so true ... My boyfriend is the same height as me and I love a tall guy and all that but I love him and find him attractive sexually anyway!
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A
female
reader, Sincerely Yours +, writes (21 January 2015):
Just as men don't seek porn stars for relationships. He prefers you in your real life form, for your entire package and not one sole physical aspect or another.
Metaphorically speaking, breast implants may look nice but don't feel nice to all men, due to being hard and not bouncy and squishy. Make sense?
~Sy
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (21 January 2015):
 Because your BF knows that fantasy and reality is NOT the same. The FANTASY of "his" plump ladies are ONLY good in his head.
It's like straight men/women who watches gay porn. Doesn't mean they are gay, they just enjoy the FANTASY/GENRE more.
He LOVES you JUST the way you are, small boobs as all. Because? THEY are yours. He likes you to stay fit and healthy partly because being IN fitness and having a FIT partner makes him LOOK better and secondary having a FIT partner means he get to have you around a LOT longer then if you were to become obese/unhealthy.
My husband "loves" redheads, I'm blond. He likes BIG girls, I'm not. I like blond men with a nice FIRM manly butt and washboard abs, he has neither. And guess what? I love the man JUST the same, because HE is MY reality - not my fantasy.
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