A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello everyone, before I start talking about my problem I would like to thank you for taking time to read this and answer me.I’m a medical student, which has always been my dream since I was 5 years old. Always being that straight A’s smart girl showed everyone that I was on my way to make it come true. My family, my friends and myself. The bad thing about this best student image is that it puts you under a lot of pressure. I stuggled to get into medical school, I fought for it. I passed this exam, that you can only pass once a year in my country, 3 times until I finally made it. It’s like The SAT’s in the United States.But now I feel like everything’s falling apart. My first year was really bad, I made a promise to myself that I would work hard and put my studies first, but my second year, which I started in September, is just as bad. I failed every single exam in the first semester, and it’s going to take a lot of work to pass this year, but it’s not impossible. It’s just that I’m still wasting my time at stupid things and running away from my studies, I feel so lazy, and don’t understand what’s happening to me, I’m starting to doubt myself and my choices.I really need you help and advice, I’m so angry with myself that I’ve become agressive, I can’t talk to my family about it, they’ve always given me the best and I just feel so guilty. My boyfriend who’s also my bestfriend, is a medical student as well, he’s so smart and knows when to get serious and when to have fun, he always listens to me and tries to help me and push me to study but I’m tired of disappointing him, he gets mad everytime I say that, he says you could never bother me, we’ll get through this together and that kind of stuff but I just can’t talk about school with him anymore, I hope you get it. So please if anyone of you has been through a similiar situation, what can I do about it ? xxx Reply to this Question
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male
reader, CMMP  +, writes (16 January 2015):
Some people make themselves fail so the failure is on their terms. You were probably always the girl everyone thought was smart, and struggling in school has made you doubt your smarts. So instead of failing because school is to hard, you're subconsciously making yourself fail because that way you "win" vs. failure.
Stop concerning yourself with who you are and who other people think you are (or who you think they think you are). Just focus on school. You're capable, but without a behavioral change you're going to fail.
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (15 January 2015):
 You disappoint yourself. You are harsh on yourself. You're the one who put all this pressure on yourself, people around you are just following it up. You can say no. You can say stop. It's your life.
It's all about what you want out of life and your own life philosophy, but after feeling the pressure to be the "perfect little girl" for several years, I just screamed stop to it all when I was 15. Going from having good grades, never missing a class etc, I went to almost flunking high school. I flunked two classes, actually, but took the extra exams in my third year so it doesn't show on my diploma. It was my sort of early "mid life crisis", if you can call it that. A point where I refused to try my best, and said "screw this" to everything. It wasn't conscious, it was just like what you describe... trying to get myself to take studies serious, but not actually bothering to do it, not wanting to do it, and perhaps... I just did not see the point in it what so ever.
I pulled myself through high school and thought I'd NEVER go back to school. Decided to just work a low paid, part time job instead of going to university like everyone else did. And you know what, I had a GREAT time just working. I worked for a year, relaxed, enjoyed my spare time. It's an amazing feeling to go home from work and NOT have to think about studies, NOT having to feel guilty for not reading, NOT beating myself up about what I "should" have been doing.
I know it's politically incorrect to tell you to drop your studies. Especially since you've worked so hard to get to where you are. But is it possible that you might actually have a better time doing something else?
I did go back to school, after a lot of pressure. People kept asking me what I was going to do etc. I always knew what I wanted to study if I was going to study anything, and I didn't do great in exams either, haha, but I chose to study something I liked. Something I found interesting. Even if I didnt get the top grades, I learned a lot.
I worked up some debt though, and looking at the jobs I've had since my studies ended, and looking at the jobs my fellow students got after graduation, I do wonder if it was worth it. I could have done the exact same without my degree, although I am proud of my degree.
Im just saying, think about what the purpose of studying is. Your life is NOW, today. Not tomorrow, or next year. You might get hit by a bus and be dead tomorrow. That is my life philosophy. My goal is to have a great time TODAY, not pressure myself and be miserable for years doing something I loathe, just to be able to pat myself on the shoulder afterwards and all for what.. maybe nothing.
You could just as easily find something else to study that will make you happy, something you feel you master more easily, and that will give you a job that will pay just as well. Maybe you wont have to study for so many years either, save yourself the debt. Go do something you enjoy, that's my advice. And think about the purpose, what is all this studying for, and can you achieve that goal through other means?
If nothing else, perhaps a study break for a year, and work instead, will do you good.
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A
female
reader, WhenCowsAttack +, writes (15 January 2015):
Ever been tested for ADHD?
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (15 January 2015):
 Does your school have a good student/guidance counselor? If so, go talk to him/her and get HELP in getting GOOD study habits. It's NEVER too late to start.
And guess what honey, ONLY you can pass or fail this. No one can do it for you. And IF you are serious about wanting a job in this field, you need to put on your big girl panties and GO FOR what you want.
Here are some pages to get get you started perhaps.
http://www.usnews.com/education/blogs/medical-school-admissions-doctor/2014/02/25/build-effective-efficient-study-habits-for-medical-school
http://www.llu.edu/medicine/medical-student-education/resources/10-study-habits.page
http://www.studentdoctor.net/2014/02/the-seven-habits-of-highly-successful-medical-students/
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