A
female
age
30-35,
*andiLion94
writes:My boyfriend and I have been having sex for about two months, and we were eachothers first. He is great in bed, and has told me that he enjoys me as well. I have no problem getting him off, however I can not reach an orgasm. We have tried several times. Several different ways. Once he gets me near, I lose control of my body and push him away or make him stop, because I feel the urge to pee or it just starts to feel slightly painful. I have heard its common. He wants to tie me up and forcefully make me have an orgasm, which I am not against, but would just like to know if there are other ways to make my body relax and stop pushing him away. As well as how to get over that feeling that I may pee.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2015): The main onit ion of orgazm is octal relaxation. I don't think you are totally relaxed with him
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (9 January 2015):
 You should start by making yourself come, before you attempt at it with him. You need to see if this urge to pee is an actual urge to pee, or if it's just a similar feeling and actually means you're about to orgasm. Some girl squirt, if you haven't heard. It's a female ejaculation, and it WILL feel like you're peeing, but you're not. I sometimes think Im peeing when I have a really strong orgasm by myself in the shower, but it doesn't last for long, so it's not actually peeing (but I guess some urine might come out). So I suggest you try this by yourself to see if you actually are urinating, or if it's a female ejaculation. In order to make sure it's NOT pee, you can use the bathroom before he goes down on you and empty your bladder completely. Then rinse with water, so it wont taste urine when he goes down on you.
Other than that I think him "tying" you up is a good idea. Because then you will not have any choice but to "take it", and not worry about this or that. Of course though, no still means no and you should not ever tie up for real as that is dangerous. But he can use a scarf and tie you gently so you will be able to free yourself. It will still have the same effect.
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (8 January 2015):
 Whoaaaa... let's not bust out any rope, girl, and let's ESPECIALLY not force anybody to do anything!
Listen, once you have been having sex for a long while, and you've figured out your body, your desires, and all that, then you can try some kinky stuff. But let's not have your first orgasm with your fella be because he forced it on you.That's a super negative experience, even if you do end up orgasming. Frankly, it's kind of creepy.
I agree, that maybe you should try your hand at masturbation (pun intended), and figure out what you like and how you like it. Maybe you prefer a slow build, or maybe you'll find you like it a little rougher - but that's really something that you should find out before your boyfriend, who does not have a vagina and very little experience with them, outside of the last two months, goes tying you up and poking and prodding around you, "forcing" you to orgasm.
Your boyfriend should want to make you feel relaxed and comfortable - TYING YOU UP LIKE A BARNYARD ANIMAL will not do that. At least, that is my educated guess.
Get to know yourself. Explore each other's bodies. Get to know every part. Find out some more things about each other - you've only been having sex two months, there are still a lot of hot spots left to find on each other.
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (8 January 2015):
 Tying you up is and trying to FORCE an orgasm? IS he serious?
My advice TAKE the time (on your own) to find out HOW to get yourself off. If you are afraid to pee, do it in the shower.
Once you can GET yourself off, you can show him or explain where/how to touch you.
Go for the clitoral orgasm, you will have FAR better chance and getting one (compared to insertion/penetration).
Your BF on the other hand OUGHT to read up on sensual massages - learn to get you relaxed and learn all your little "oh ah" spots.
Later on, if being tied up is something you want to try, then go for it, but I just think doing it because your BODY/MIND is protesting is ridiculous.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2015): Just give it time. Can you bring yourself to orgasm? Start with you doing it then him helping, then have him do it alone. Being tied up, unless that's something you actively enjoy, will only make you more tense, not relaxed. He shouldn't be pressuring you in any way.
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