A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:So I've been seeing this girl for a month now- I am very sexual with her but just over the weekend we had unprotected sex and I came inside her.. She was pretty nervous afterwards but we kept doing it for the next 4 days. We have basically fallen in love..She tells me she wants me to feel good and wants to please me. I'm doing it bc I'm stupid and I really like her..I'm just wondering if she is just not very experienced/smart and I'm very manipulative and good in bed. Or if she knows exactly what she's doing...We are both in are mid 20s
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male
reader, Nyc Martian +, writes (3 February 2016):
Yeah it's the same girl.Alright she is actually a nice clean girl- shes well off so I know she's not trying to trap me or whatever. I didn't know she had a bf. We went away for a ski trip and that's when the unprotected sex happen. Afterward she told me she had never done that before. And that's when all the love talk happen.. After we came back we had a talk and she told me about him.. Obviously I was upset she was crying.. I told her to be with him and that she should give it a try. She told me that he was a nice guy and loyal guy but she didn't have a connection with him. They knew each other since kids and there families are close. Obviously I don't like the situation I'm in.. I really like her.. She tells me she really likes me. Now loves me.. I said I'm stupid bc I feel like I'm taking advantage of her sexually a little. But honestly I wouldn't mind if she was pregnant bc I like her so much. And she kind of feels the same? Bc we know we are taking the chance... I'm not judging her bc I understand that she has a guy who's very well off and won't leave her.. I just need some advice about our situation not about how to have sex or what not
A
male
reader, Nyc Martian +, writes (3 February 2016):
Yeah it's the same girl.Alright she is actually a nice clean girl- shes well off so I know she's not trying to trap me or whatever. I didn't know she had a bf. We went away for a ski trip and that's when the unprotected sex happen. Afterward she told me she had never done that before. And that's when all the love talk happen.. After we came back we had a talk and she told me about him.. Obviously I was upset she was crying.. I told her to be with him and that she should give it a try. She told me that he was a nice guy and loyal guy but she didn't have a connection with him. They knew each other since kids and there families are close. Obviously I don't like the situation I'm in.. I really like her.. She tells me she really likes me. Now loves me.. I said I'm stupid bc I feel like I'm taking advantage of her sexually a little. But honestly I wouldn't mind if she was pregnant bc I like her so much. And she kind of feels the same? Bc we know we are taking the chance... I'm not judging her bc I understand that she has a guy who's very well off and won't leave her.. I just need some advice about our situation not about how to have sex or what not
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A
male
reader, Nyc Martian +, writes (3 February 2016):
Sorry I didn't even state my question-
My question was do you think she wants to get pregnant bc we talked about what if she's pregnant... But then we just kept doing it night after night... I'm wonderin what is really going on in her mind or if she is just going with it...
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (3 February 2016):
 Stop being stupid. Go buy condoms. If you can't afford condoms you surely can't afford a kid.
And one month in and you are playing Russian Roulette? Yea, smart is not what I would call you.
Ever heard of STD's/STI's?
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (3 February 2016):
 Are you trying to figure out who to blame when she gets pregnant?
Isn't that answer obvious to you?
Oh wait, you said you were stupid, so that lets you off the hook. Not your fault if you choose to have unprotected sex. After all you are stupid but good in bed, so you aren't in any way responsible for a pregnancy. Or an STI for that matter. Or a pregnancy complicated by an STI.
Except you BOTH are making the choice to have unprotected sex and so you BOTH are going to responsible for the pregnancy.
So, in this case, being stupid doesn't absolve you of taking responsibility for your part in preventing pregnancy. You are making the choice that having a few minutes of unprotected sex is worth the risk of pregnancy and parenthood. Which from your end would only be a financial pain. From her end there's a whole more to pregnancy.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (3 February 2016):
 You both want a baby, I guess. Or you're both not very smart.
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A
female
reader, jls022  +, writes (3 February 2016):
I take it by your question that you are the type of guy who 'chances it' and tries to have sex without a condom, but usually the woman is sensible and doesn't let you. Now you've found one that does, you're wondering if she has another motive for doing so? Honestly, after one month you have no way of knowing her well enough to know what she's thinking, so if you don't want to be a Dad then I'd suggest you start taking more precautions.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (3 February 2016):
 So, both old enough to know better !
Are you wondering if she is intentionally tryng to trap you by getting pregnant ?....
I don't think so. She should be totally dumb for doing that. Unless you are the only heir of a billionaire ; otherwise, she risks getting stuck with a guy that she does not even know ( dating one month, she has all the time to realize after all she does not like you THAT much ) and an unplanned baby. Plus, nowadays a child is not a foolproof way to trap anybody ,I think there are not many guys who would stay with her regardless , " because it's the right thing to do ". Pregnant women, or young unwed mothers, get unceremoniously dumped every day, all they get from the guy is some child support IF they are lucky. Even if this girl is a bit dumb ( ...she must be somewhat ) probably she is not planning a trainwreck, she is just letting it happen .
With your kind cooperation, of course. You are not showing more wisdom than her.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2016): Sorry I didn't even state my question-
My question was do you think she wants to get pregnant bc we talked about what if she's pregnant... But then we just kept doing it night after night... I'm wonderin what is really going on in her mind or if she is just going with it...
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A
female
reader, MissKin +, writes (3 February 2016):
 Other than you not using protection leading to possible std's/sti's and pregnancy,(showing if you ask me that you are both immature and inexperienced securely) I don't understand what the problem is.
Of COURSE she wants to be wants to be pleased. Pleasing each other doesn't make you stupid. That's what good lovers do.
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A
female
reader, Slippers +, writes (3 February 2016):
If your looking to start a family your going the right way about it .. do I think your manipulative and good in bed .. she may just want to have a partner and any guy silly enough not to use protection is silly enough to take the consequences . One month isn't knowing someone . Sony would think about things a bit more if I were in your shoes ..
Take care
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