A
female
age
30-35,
*MYK
writes:Hello. So every weekend, I go over to my partner's house and we do it. Recently I had my first "orgasm"-- well that's what he said happened. A bunch of stuff just gushed out and I pushed him out of me. That new feeling happened so quick it was hard to really tell what happened. I just know afterwards I couldnt get up what so ever. From then, I really have been wanting to feel that again, and it doesnt seem like it is going to happen again. I REALLY like him, and he feels REALLY good, and he's the biggest sweet heart goofball ever. I kinda find him husband material. But lately when we are doing it, i feel so much build up, i dunno how to handle it. like i feel like I am going to explode or something from how good it feels(and probably from holding in my breath to hold in that sensation...) but then it fades. and I'm all willing and accepting to let whatever it is out but it just fades and builds up even more and fades. I am probably thinking about it too much, but it's hard not to think of it when it's building up a ton and you feel like you are going to pop, but it just... fades and starts again. lol. I wonder what that means and stuff. maybe I cant? maybe I should drink more water to help? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (25 January 2016):
 You need to masturbate. That's how you will learn when you're close and how to get over the edge. By the way Im not convinced you had an orgasm. You'd know it yourself if you did, your boyfriend doesn't live in your body and couldn't possibly know whether you had an orgasm or not. Too many guys think they know.. but they are clueless and gullible, believe everything is like in porn. So if HE was the one telling you you had an orgasm... uh, then you did not have one. Because if you had one, you'd definitely be able to tell yourself.
So, masturbate, get an orgasm, and then you'll know. I recommend the use of massage shower heads.
A
female
reader, TMYK +, writes (25 January 2016):
TMYK is verified as being by the original poster of the question @aunt honesty: I try to let go and I try to loosen up my body, but it still feels tense then it fades. I think the only thing that's different is that I am probably putting too much thought into it and trying to force it to happen. Alone I do try, but I usually can't get myself to keep going being at that point I feel really good, but also really tired and it's hard to keep up with myself. I guess I can try to keep going and push myself...
@Honeypie: Ah I see. I didn't even think about that... We'll try again. But yes, I agree. Amazing and fun sex is way better. If anything, if for some reason I can't do it again, at least I get to laugh and play while doing it. As long as we are both having fun! :)
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (25 January 2016):
 Maybe what you had was a "female ejaculation"? It's hard to say. (some call it squirting)
And as far as being able to ALMOST get there and then feel like it just stops can be over-stimulation. Like rubbing on the same spot over an over (anywhere really) after while it's just "annoying" not pleasant.
You could try a toy (I'd go for an external one - aka a buzz buzz) and see if that works.
If you made it once, it CAN happen again. I know that isn't useful right now, but try and relax and just have fun with the sex.
As for positions... I think that vastly depend on the woman, so again, switch it up. Some needs to be "tense" in their muscles (like keeping their legs crossed) others don't, some needs to be utterly relaxed and some .. in the middle. What works for me, might not work for you.
And a side note, orgasms are great - but amazing and fun sex tops it. :)
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (25 January 2016):
 I wouldn't worry about the stuff that came out, if it was clear colored and didn't have a strong smell then am sure it was normal enough.
I agree with Honeypie though that Orgasms are less likely during sex. Have you been able to orgasm while being alone? It sounds like you are afraid to let go and that is why you are always building up to it but never actually finishing.
I think you should practice on your own for the time being and see if you can orgasm yourself. Then show your man what works best for you. Yes try new positions. Maybe try doggy style so he can touch you at the front as well.
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A
female
reader, ellsie96  +, writes (25 January 2016):
 What was the liquid like that came out? If it was watery then that can be discharged by some women during sex, so that's pretty normal, especially when climaxing.
As for why the sensation fades, are you sure you don't reach orgasm in those instances, and that fade is just the 'come-down'?
When you had the orgasm that both you and your boyfriend noticed, this may have, for whatever reason, been really intense, which is why now you keep comparing these build-up feelings you have to it.
But some women orgasm quite easily and frequently during sex, so this could be you have numerous weak orgasms during sex, but they're nowhere near as intense as the one you had before, which is why they may not feel like it.
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A
female
reader, TMYK +, writes (25 January 2016):
TMYK is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAbout the "bunch of stuff" coming out. I wasnt sure what it was but we both felt it. Some liquid and jelly lookin stuff came out. So I dunno. Whatever it was, we smelled it and it wasnt pee, and we had condom on. We checked, nothing came out of that.
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A
female
reader, TMYK +, writes (25 January 2016):
TMYK is verified as being by the original poster of the questionLol, I understand where you are trying to come from, but I do touch myself. I am not scared of my body. And he doesnt think his penis is some magic wand. He has tried to use his hands and mouth on me. Yes it feels wonderful, but as always the feeling fades. and usually while doing that it just becomes numb. Like, it wont allow for more feeling. It feels like a cut off point. The reason I got an orgasm before was probably from the rough housing from him. But I can't keep doing that too much. I dont want people to think he's beating on me. I like it, but I need another way to get to that point. I have some toys that could maybe help...
Maybe there are some poses that can help or something? Usually I am on top, so I have a lot of room to do what I want.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (25 January 2016):
Maybe, he should try and use his hands/mouth on you and not think that his penis is a magic wand.
Most women CAN orgasm from simulation to the clitoris but 80% can't with penis in vagina. The reason is, there are VERY few nerve endings inside the vagina (and for good reason - it has to stretch to accommodate a baby during birth so nerve ending would make childbirth excruciatingly more painful) However... the clitoris have many times more nerve ending than the penis, so THIS is where the "attention should be, if you want to try and orgasm again.
My advice? LEARN to get yourself off first. Find out HOW you NEED to be touched in order to orgasm - yes, MASTURBATE.
Usually you don't have a "bunch of stuff" come out when having a orgasm, unless he ejaculated inside you and your vagina muscles expel most of it.
Good luck.
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