Would it be unreasonable of me not to invite her to our wedding?
Q. My fiancee and I are getting married later this year and we are currently planning the wedding together. we are working on a guest list, and he suggested the other day that we invite this one girl who we havent really spoken to for years. Back w...
A. 8 January 2008: Good Gawd, don't invite her! It was poor of him to even suggest it. What is he thinking about--One last fling before he gets hitched? The two of you need to steer clear of her from now on. She has no place in your lives. Have a great wedding.... (read in full...)
Why is he being so secretive? Should I be worried?
Q. I have been with my partner since September. It all happened really quickly. I am in my thirties and he is in his forties. We moved in with each other after a short while. Everything is going great. The last couple of weeks he has been very ...
A. 8 January 2008: He might be ordering you a special gift for Valentines Day, or your birthday. He might be doing some bankig on line and feels weird about you knowing how much or how little his bank account has in it. Maybe when he's not around you can look at the ... (read in full...)
Is he sneaking with other women?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 1 1/2 years now, and we have had issues with his ex-girlfriend, ex-wife, and female friend emailing and calling him. It seems as though he just can't stay away from other women. He says that he no longer keeps in ...
A. 8 January 2008: Yup, I'd say so. It sounds like he has trouble being faithful because he likes the attention or needs it due to an insecurity complex.... (read in full...)
How can you live with a bossy controlling man, the nice ones bore me
Q. How do you stay in a relationship with a difficult man? And don't tell me they don't exist, I see them all the time. They're the guys who lose their temper over every little thing, think they have to tell a woman what to do all the time, are bossy ...
A. 7 January 2008: I think people who are passionate tend to be intense and extreme in all areas of their lives. They love passionately and deeply, they feel sadness very intensely, they become angry easily and often and they are usually full of energy and creativity ... (read in full...)
Anyone else have a real preference for sex in evenings?
Q. I really prefer sex in the evening. Morning sex rarely does anything for me in fact although I'll sometimes have the horn the wee fella downstairs is asleep. Bed time is another matter and I'm a sex pest. Anyone else like this? Prefer ...
A. 28 November 2007: Oh yeah, every couple goes through this I think. I'm a night owl, my boyrfriend is a morning person. His best time for sex is in the mornings, usually quite early. It took me a really long time to adjust to this schedule. For me it was more like ... (read in full...)
We became rommates instead of married lovers, I feel miserable and lonely and think I should not have married her.
Q. i want to divorce my wife...there is no intamacy or love between us anymore. she refuses to go to counselling now. she says she won't give me a divorce. we've become roommates instead of married lovers. i think we should never have got married in ...
A. 28 November 2007: Your wife cannot stop you from getting a divorce. She may make it difficult but if you want out, you simply go through the process. Apparently you and your wife had different ideas about marriage going into it. I'm assuming you've tried talking to ... (read in full...)
Moving in with my fiancee was the biggest mistake of my life...and now I only love her as a friend.
Q. Don't know what to do with the situation that i am in at the moment. Im with my fiancee 2 years, we're engaged about 12 months now, but 6 months ago we decided to buy a house and live together. I feel its the biggest mistake of my life. I dont rea...
A. 28 November 2007: Well it's going to be sticky for you financially since you bought this house together and there is no marriage document. You may have to end up selling the house if you guys split up because on your own, neither of you can probably afford it. Could ... (read in full...)
Follow up question. "How do I convince my wife to have sex with another man?"
Q. Thanks for your advice Stina. I am carefully considering it and how best to be sure not to lose control of the situation. I have had two more sessions with my "old friend" and my wife -- first an evening of drinks at our place and then a casual ...
A. 16 November 2007: Anytime you bring someone else into your bed, consenting or not, you are violating the intentions of a marriage bone and that is to "forsake all others". You can slice it, spin it and play it anyway you want but you are still entering into an area ... (read in full...)
He blames me because I won't move back in.
Q. I don't know if I should continue on. I left my husband a year ago- I don't want a divorce; but I don't want to be unhappy either. We both have children, creating a blended family. We have one child together. He won't work, cook, clean, ...
A. 9 November 2007: I agree with rcn, what is he doing for money? I would say until you see more positive changes in him, don't move back home. You will only be enabling him further. Also, keep in mind that if he does comply, and you move back home, just make sure ... (read in full...)
Follow up question. "How do I convince my wife to have sex with another man?"
Q. Thanks for your advice Stina. I am carefully considering it and how best to be sure not to lose control of the situation. I have had two more sessions with my "old friend" and my wife -- first an evening of drinks at our place and then a casual ...
A. 9 November 2007: Wow, that's pretty amazing! A guy who will actually give his wife permission to cheat on him while he watches and participates. What a deal! ... (read in full...)
Do I stay with the security of my current lifestyle or take a gamble with this new woman?
Q. I have been living with my girlfriend for 6 years the last few of which have been fairly miserable. I haven't felt able to be myself around her anymore and she doesn't bring out the best in me. But despite that I feel her loyalty, depth of feelings ...
A. 26 October 2007: Let's analyze why you don't feel like you can be yourself around your current g/f. What does that mean really?...Are you simply bored, or have you truly fallen out of love with her? Only you can answer that, but if you still love her, then work ... (read in full...)
My ex husbands new girlfriend has become like a buddy to me, I told her the truth, was this so wrong?
Q. My ex husbands girlfriend is always the one I deal with when its anything that has to do with our daughter, simply because he is not man enough to talk to me or show up in front of my door when my daughter goes over his house. Every time his girl...
A. 26 October 2007: Hey, she always asks so as far as I'm concerned, she was bound to find out something sooner or later that was not ideal about this guy. Don't beat yourself up about it. She's probably been having her doubts about him all along, that's why she kept ... (read in full...)
How can we fall asleep together comfortably?
Q. okay i have a great realtionship with my girlfriend, but the problem is cuddling. she always want me to cuddle up to her before falling asleep, and i love it aswell. but we can never seem to find a comfortable position. any advice of good positions ...
A. 26 October 2007: Ever heard of the term "spooning"? You put your back to his check and snuggle up to each other, then he wraps one arm around you and you fall asleep all cozy-like. Now, granted you probably won't stay in that position all night, but that's okay. ... (read in full...)
Is this a mid-life crisis?
Q. i am very attracted to a young lady working in my office as an intern.i call her to my office on any excuse i can think of. We do have long conversations about any topic that comes up.We do enjoy talking to each other i believe. My problem is how to ...
A. 26 October 2007: Let me tell you from a voice of experience, please do NOT do this to her. She may only be entertaining you with these little conversations because you are her boss and nothing more. When I was younger, I worked for a dentist. He was 38 and I was ... (read in full...)
Me and my pal tricked him into exposing himself on the webcam. How can I trust him again?
Q. i'm 19, and the guy i was seeing is 21. we used to be good friends before all this. we started speaking on myspace after not having contact in a while.we sent flirty emails and texts and met up the following week. he came round mine and we kiss...
A. 26 October 2007: Bad idea. There's no way you will be able to get back to just being friends at this point, you're too close to the situation that happened, and you're hurting too much for it go back to anything casual. It's unfortunate and sad that he betrayed ... (read in full...)
Do most people "block" contacts once a long distance relationship goes bad? He's asking for space and keeps changing his mind.
Q. My bf of over a year (long distance) turned around and said he needed time alone and space and distance to figure himself out. He cut all phone calls and said it was because he needs distance, and that he didnt see the reason why we should talk o...
A. 26 October 2007: I usually block people who are harrassing me. I don't think you're going to have this problem with your ex b/f because he already bailed out of your relationship and hasn't really made a move to contact you. He has only responded to a few of your ... (read in full...)
What exactly is the grieving process?
Q. my dad died a year on wednesday and i dont think i have grieved yet but i am not sure coz i dont no what what you do when you grieve, could some one please help me ps i dont like talking about it with anyone x ...
A. 26 October 2007: It's different for everyone, but they say there are stages to grief and no one goes through each one in a certain order. Usually shock is the first part of the process. This is when your mind will put you in a bit of denial. You don't want to ... (read in full...)
Am I being stupid? I love my boyfriend so much!
Q. Ive been with my boyfriend for two years. I absolutely adore him and we had a perfect relationship until one day the police came to my house and cautioned him for sexual harrassment. It turns out he had been ringing a woman and talking dirty to her ...
A. 26 October 2007: He does indeed need help! If he's willing to go. You may be the only one who can assist him with this process, but I wouldn't consider taking him back until he's finished with his sessions, understand why and how this behavior became a part of him, ... (read in full...)
Should I email him to arrange a meeting?
Q. My husband and I are emotionally separated, but not financially; he works abroad and only comes home 3 times a year. I really fancy a man going through a divorce, and have met him vaguely though social functions, as our kids are at the same sch...
A. 12 October 2007: I think it's okay to drop him a quick e-mail and invite him out and then see what happens.... (read in full...)
I'm getting married soon but don't want to neglect my parents
Q. I am 25 yrs old guy and facing a difficult situation where i am to get married soon but feel that it would do injustice to my parents and others who want to depend on me for their emotional needs. I feel that it is my duty to give first priority to ...
A. 12 October 2007: When you get married your first and foremost priority should be your wife, then your parents/family/siblings. When you have children, your priority should still be your wife (she came first) then your kids, and then your parents/family etc. This ... (read in full...)
Any medications OK to take while on the pill
Q. im on the pill and was just wondering what you can take while your on it [example paracetamol or ibuprofen]? thanks in advance...
A. 12 October 2007: Most over-the-counter meds for headaches, and colds are fine to mix with the Pill. Always tell your doctor that you're taking the Pill so they have it in your file, and remind them when they are giving you a prescription that you are on it. Some ... (read in full...)
My stockings and susps didn't turn him on. Any ideas as to how to get him interested in sex with me again?
Q. I am very confused, been married 29 years, been faithful to each other, well I know for sure that I have. Sex life has always been difficult with him not opening up and not letting me initiate it,caught him twice this year with porn behind my back, ...
A. 11 October 2007: Oddly enough, it's usually the women who get bored with their husbands after 29 years of marriage because the familiarity of marital sex causes some women to develop more platonic feelings towards their spouses. Maybe this is what's happened to ... (read in full...)
My ex husband of 5 yrs ago has just had a child and I feel sick at this idea - which my current husband knows. Should I go to counselling?
Q. Hi, I need advice. I am married with two kids and have been divorced from my ex husband for about 5 years, thing is i have just found out that my ex has just had a child with someone else and i have a very un-describable feeling about it all. ...
A. 11 October 2007: Yes, go to counseling. Go alone. These are issues you need to work through by yourself. It's nice that you have a man who understands your trauma, and stands by you but visit with the counselor alone. That way you can talk freely without hurting ... (read in full...)
I'm afraid his work buddies will buy him a prostitute!
Q. help! i am engaged and to be married in the upcoming month...but now i just runied it...i never cheated on my fiancee, never slept with anyone, never hit on anyone, never did anything like that I just found out that his hotel was changed since he...
A. 11 October 2007: Boy, he sure was quick to ditch the upcoming wedding plans over one little comment. Sounds like he was looking for an excuse to call it quits if you ask me. Don't blame yourself. Guilty men usually get extremely, irrationally pissed when they're ... (read in full...)
First kiss a stage kiss?
Q. Okay Well The Prob Is, At Skl We're Doing This School Production Of West Side Story, And I Got The Main Part Maria :) But Yea Its Now Our 2nd Performance Of It And Its Going Really Well, But The Prob Is Iv Now Been Asked To Do A Stage Kiss. Im R...
A. 11 October 2007: Study other actor's technique and try to mimic it. You'll do fine and it'll be over in a minute. Good luck.... (read in full...)
Why does she introduce her new boyfriend to all her ex-boyfriends?
Q. I dated a woman for 7 months, she was in her early 40s and I'm mid 30s. When we first started daring she thought it was okay to introduce me to her ex-boyfriends (THREE of them). At first I thought it was fine, I don't have a problem meeting the ...
A. 9 October 2007: Well if you go to the party and you know she's bringing her new beau, you'll have no way to avoid being introduced to him. Not gracefully anyhow. I think her behavior is extremely odd. At first when I read your post, I thought it was just a chance ... (read in full...)
How can I accept it's over, when I don't understand the reasons?
Q. My ex broke up with me 5 months ago, everything was fine, we had been together for 3 years and i asked for commitment. He told me he was sorry but he couldn't offer it to me and as he new i wanted a future with him he had been backing off for the ...
A. 9 October 2007: I think he left for reasons other than just a committment fear. People who are afraid of getting married will generally just say 'no' to the marriage part but still remain in the relationship -- that is unless you've issued an ultimatum and backed ... (read in full...)
Why should I give him a BJ? I don't get anything out of it!
Q. ok it seems my man wants a bj all the time but he wants me to finish it without my getting any pleasure what should i do about this ...
A. 9 October 2007: He is either selfish, meaning it's all about him, or uneducated, meaning he has no idea that you are also capable of having an orgasm. Maybe it's time for a class lesson on sexual etiquette. Call it the "Me First" lesson. My b/f is great at playing ... (read in full...)
How do I go about contacting the boy I fancy?
Q. I like this guy and I've been told he likes me and wants to get to know me. He's my friend's brother but that isn't the problem. The problem is I don't know how to get into contact with him beacuse he doesn't live near me. I would ask his sister ...
A. 7 October 2007: Check the phone book, or an on-line telephone listing and see if he's listed. Or google him, maybe he'll come up if he's a member of some different organizations, or through his work. If that doesn't work, just ask one of his friends, or family ... (read in full...)
Could my flatmate be pregnant?
Q. My flatmate, work collegue and close friend has been acting really differently lately - hysterical laughs turn quickly into floods (quite literally) of tears. She is really stressed out and keeps skipping meals and then stuffing herself with foo...
A. 7 October 2007: Her symptoms could be anything from stress, to an eating disorder, but it's possible. Ask her if she's missed a period lately and if so, offer to buy her a home pregnancy test, then you'll both know. Good luck.... (read in full...)
I have very pale skin - anyone have foundation recommendations?
Q. I have extremely pale skin, and whilst I'm not in anyway ashamed of this or want to change it, I find it very hard to shop for foundation. I have tried Clinique, and most of the less expensive brands, Maybelline, Rimmel, etc. But all of the make up ...
A. 5 October 2007: Go do a department store, and have someone do a color match on your skin which will help you find a shade that works well for you. It doesn't take long and they are usually happy to do this for you. Plus you can sometimes pick up some great make-up ... (read in full...)
Why is he convinced I am cheating?
Q. hi im wandering why my man is convinced ive been cheating, there is no real evidence against me only a phone number that is my cousins. There isn't a name, an address, a place of residence nothing yet he continues to say I have a (friends with ...
A. 5 October 2007: There's an old saying that if someone is accusing you, they must be guilty themselves. I wouldn't normally believe that, but your b/f hasn't given you the same access into his home or the freedom to come and as you have given him. Hmmm.....? If ... (read in full...)
Really need advice on which girl to choose!
Q. Hi there guys, just need some advice for a slightly sticky situation i've gotten myself into. Last weekend, I met a woman that I really liked at a 21st and although she left early, she added me on facebook. This being the only form of communic...
A. 5 October 2007: I think you should pretty well cross the first girl off your list for now, because she's already admitted that she's in a complicated relationship with someone else. Regardless of the fact that she's a Christian, she's off the list because she's ... (read in full...)
Is he still interested in his ex?
Q. My bf of 3 years still talks to his ex. He talks to her almost everyday. This bothers me and I have told him so in several occasions. It really does bother me specially b/c he is doing it behind my back. We live in different states and his ex ...
A. 5 October 2007: Until you become a permanent fixture in his life, my guess is, he'll keep his ex as a back-up plan. It almost sounds like he's juggling two long-distance girlfriends. If you want to have a future with this guy, you have got to be living in the ... (read in full...)
Am I just being paranoid or jealous?
Q. Do I have cause for concern here or am I just jealous? I started seeing a chick, and she has a ton of friends who're guys, and I always see myspace pictures of her drinking with these guys, and them having their arms around her and whatnot. ...
A. 5 October 2007: Hmmm...sounds like you're dating a party-girl. If you're uncomfortable with her partying antics, you'd better plan on going along next time, or tell her it makes you uncomfortable for her to be so chummy and physical with other guys. As for the ... (read in full...)
Boys will be boys: My boyfriend has serious hygiene issues! How can I bring this up to him?
Q. I have been in a relationship with my partner (whom i have a 3month old baby with) for nearly 4 years now. Since the beginning I noticed I would have to mention to him to bathe, brush his teeth, etc, as I noticed he would simply not do these things. ...
A. 5 October 2007: When he walks in the door after work and leans down to kiss you, just back up a little and say, "Whoa honey, you need to hit the shower first, you smell like you've been working r-e-a-l-l-y hard today..." and then insist on him taking a shower ... (read in full...)
I've found my soulmate and I love him! But, he's married! What should I do?
Q. I am dating a married man. We were instantly attracted to one another, but with him being married, we opted to be friends. We have been close friends for the past 2 years, we have the same interests, we can talk about anything, we respect one ...
A. 5 October 2007: By definition, a soul mate wouldn't belong to another woman. So until he gets divorced, he is a married man you are having sex with and you are a fling he's enjoying while still going to home to his wife. You're heading for a crash-and-burn here.... (read in full...)
If I act on all of my sexual urges, I will surely catch something! How do I resist?
Q. I get so horny sometimes, that I'm willing to do mostly anything for sex... which is HORRIBLE. I have had sex, so its not that I'm a virgin. I know if I act on these urges, I will surely catch something. How do I resist? ...
A. 5 October 2007: You just need to find a woman in her 30's or 40's because women in this age category are as horny as an 18-yr.old man. It'll be a (sexual) match made in heaven! Just use protection!! I can't stress that enough! Have a naughty little time!
... (read in full...)
Should you wait until you're completely sick and tired of the relationship to break up, or should you do it sooner?
Q. Hey Aunts, i need help, me and my boyfriend have been together for about 19 months and lately i just feel so let down by him, and i dunno if it's because i'm on my period because it does happen sometimes. but i feel like i don't love him any...
A. 5 October 2007: Or you could try to change it. Maybe you just need to plan different activities with each other, or take up a new hobby or sport together. You can't bail out on every relationship just because it hits a dead zone. Step back and look at the big ... (read in full...)
My bf wants a threesome, should I do it?
Q. my bf says he wants a threesome !! is this something i should do or not ? ...
A. 5 October 2007: I agree with Uncle Phil. Don't do it! He's playing some kind of game with you because you've had a few more sexual partners in the past, and he already feels threatened and jealous by that. So to get even with you, he wants to invite another girl ... (read in full...)
I know his fear of losing me after I caught him cheating can prevent him from being totally honest, is it important to ask him about things he may not like to acknowledge even to himself, or should I let it go?
Q. Help! Am I making things worse or is this the usual process? After being discovered cheating, my husband and I are working through, s l o w l y, all the repercussions of his betrayal but I am still concerened that this is not the first time, as h...
A. 5 October 2007: Your husband's cheating could be a symptom of him not being able to handle your disease. And not being able to cope with what's happening to you, which is very serious, and somewhat life-threatening. Also, having this disease may be affecting how ... (read in full...)
My bf wants a threesome, should I do it?
Q. my bf says he wants a threesome !! is this something i should do or not ? ...
A. 4 October 2007: No, no, a thousand times no. Not unless he's just a friend with benefits. Then go ahead. Otherwise, he'll enjoy it w-a-a-y more than you will -- of course, I'm just guessing he wants to be with two girls -- I mean rarely does a guy ever want ... (read in full...)
I know his fear of losing me after I caught him cheating can prevent him from being totally honest, is it important to ask him about things he may not like to acknowledge even to himself, or should I let it go?
Q. Help! Am I making things worse or is this the usual process? After being discovered cheating, my husband and I are working through, s l o w l y, all the repercussions of his betrayal but I am still concerened that this is not the first time, as h...
A. 4 October 2007: If you are attending counseling together, he may open up in that environment, but most likely he knows you can't handle hearing anything else and is not comfortable telling more. If there really is more. There may not be. Instead of bugging him ... (read in full...)
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