A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been in a relationship with my partner (whom i have a 3month old baby with) for nearly 4 years now. Since the beginning I noticed I would have to mention to him to bathe, brush his teeth, etc, as I noticed he would simply not do these things. I am a very clean person, very hygenic, especially with having a newborn baby in the house. i have listed his problems regarding (lack of) hygiene below - does anyone have any idea how i can approach him, as I really am embarassed to say anything to him. I know it sounds so silly! But its gettin me really down, and i am arguing with him alot, over small things, when i know deep down, it is his dirtiness which is really the reason why im so on edge.flaky, gunky, terrible smelling ear wax (he regularly digs at his ears, but stops immediately if he see s me watching, and pretends he s doing something else)never brushes his teethwears little or no aftershavecontant playing/fiddling with his genitals.Sounds like a great man doesnt he? haha! I really am at my wits end with this. I hate him touching the baby as sometimes his smell is transferred onto my baby. What should I do? I do love him, and he is a great man, and father. Just has hygiene issues (this is in turn affecting our sex life as I do not like touching him)... ... ...
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionUncle Phil and Phiatiger - yes your right, i posted it a couple days ago! I got 2 responses, and i think ppl stopped viewing it. Although the responses were great, i just wanted to get a couple more. By posting it again, it worked - a couple more ppl have left me some great advice. yay! X
A
female
reader, stina  +, writes (5 October 2007):
 Hey Anonymous,
I would just tell him how you feel straight up, but break it to him gently so you don't hurt his feelings. The real issue here revolves around health, so that should be the main focus on your talk with him. Don't be embarassed to talk about it with him, it's important to stay clean - especially around a baby!!
Also, you might suggest that he go visit the doctor about his ear wax. If it's that bad, he may have an infection. Does he have bad allergies, by any chance? I know people who have had their ears get waxy and ooze a foul smelling liquid because of allergies. I had no idea this was a symptom of allergies until they told me.
Anyway - hope this gets resolved soon! The solutions are really easy, your guy just needs to get the movitivation and I think you will just need to push him in that direction.
Take care.
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A
female
reader, Basschick  +, writes (5 October 2007):
 When he walks in the door after work and leans down to kiss you, just back up a little and say, "Whoa honey, you need to hit the shower first, you smell like you've been working r-e-a-l-l-y hard today..." and then insist on him taking a shower right then and there, no excuses. Once he comes out clean and smelling better, compliment him and be sure you show him lots of affection. Maybe he'll put the connection. After that, if he lets it slide for too many days, just back away from him when he gets near you and make a playful statement like, "Whew! When was the last time you showered?....Clean is sexy, you know. I can't be close to you until you've showered...." Or lead by example. When you're ready for bed, tell him "I'm going to take a shower because I feel better when I'm clean, why don't you do the same...?" Hopefully after you do this a few times, he'll take the initiative and if he doesn't, then you're going to have to quit playing the "polite" game and tell him straight up, he needs to bathe more often because it's offensive! Good luck.
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A
female
reader, TELLULAH +, writes (5 October 2007):
 Tell him the truth!
Just say "look love, you know I really love you, but I need to tell you to wash all the time". And as an adult I feel you should do this anyway.
If that doesnt work tell him one of your best looking friends said he was "a Minger" (smelly). And your sick of trying to defend him.
If its any concilation, I once went out with a guy that insisted on eating the contents of his nose. Errgh makes me feel sick thinking of him. (hope your well jon) he!he
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2007): This has been posted before.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2007): I answered this exact same question ady or two ago!
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