A
female
age
30-35,
*m desperate for a baby
writes:my dad died a year on wednesday and i dont think i have grieved yet but i am not sure coz i dont no what what you do when you grieve, could some one please help me ps i dont like talking about it with anyone x Reply to this Question
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female
reader, im desperate for a baby +, writes (26 October 2007):
im desperate for a baby is verified as being by the original poster of the question thnks for that i will keep you posted on how its going xxx
A
male
reader, Richard_EMids +, writes (26 October 2007):
 Yes you are probably still going though the process.You don't have to do anything - it happens automatically. You will know when you are nearing the end of grieving when you start focussing on the future more and more. When you realise life is for living.
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A
female
reader, im desperate for a baby +, writes (26 October 2007):
im desperate for a baby is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwaterloo sunset i lost my dad to cancer as well prostrate cancer it was, i was close to my dad aswell asi wasa daddys girl could i please have your email address and i will add you to msn and we can talk xx
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A
female
reader, Basschick  +, writes (26 October 2007):
 It's different for everyone, but they say there are stages to grief and no one goes through each one in a certain order. Usually shock is the first part of the process. This is when your mind will put you in a bit of denial. You don't want to accept what's happened, so your mind tells you, you're just having a bad dream and when you wake up, everything will be okay. Once you realize this person is really gone, usually it's sadness that hits you and you cry until you have no more tears. Then alot of people actually experience anger, when they lose someone close to them. Some people become angry at the circumstances that caused the death - a drunk driver, a careless physician, maybe even God. Sometimes even when someone has committed suicide, family members will feel some degree of anger towards the person who killed themselves (though they would rarely admit it or want to talk about it) but it really is a selfish thing for someone to do. It leaves your loved ones feeling helpless and blaming themselves for years to come, playing the "If only I'd known he/she was feeling like this...maybe there was something I could've done..." It's terrible and it rips families apart. Then once the sadness and the shock has subsided, people come to accept that death is part of living and they reassure themselves that their loved one is in a better place, resting peacefully in the arms of God. Everyone goes through these things to certain degrees, some people get stuck on the anger part, some get stuck on the sorrow, some even refuse to believe they're actually dead. I don't exactly know what you are experiencing, you may be feeling quite numb (part of denial) can occur when you are overwhelmed by the loss of someone close to you. You may find it's helpful to seek counsel from a pastor, or therapist to talk about your feelings, rather than bury them because they will only later re-surface and you will still need to deal with them somehow. It is never easy but we have all gone through this kind of loss so please don't feel like you are ever alone. I have lost both of my parents, one when I was 19 yrs.old and her death was quite suddenly and unexpected. My dad, years later but still no less of a loss and equally hard to deal with even though we knew it was going to happen. I wish you the best.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 October 2007): You are going through the grieving process now, how do i know, because your ps gave it away. You dont like talking about it with anyone. I lost my dad when i was 19, he died of cancer and me and him were so close. I was closer to him than my mam. Talk about him to a close friend or have a word with one of your teachers, depending on your age. I found the more i talked about him and the situation of his dead the better i got over it, but personally i think you are going through that period now. If you find life hard, then have a word with your doctor, he may suggest counselling. Dont whince at the thought of it, it helps.
You get to speak to an understanding, skilled, trained, outsider who will help you through it and get things talked about and out of your head.
take care and get in touch if you want. I know what it is like.
xx
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