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My ex husbands new girlfriend has become like a buddy to me, I told her the truth, was this so wrong?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Cheating, Three is a crowd, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (26 October 2007) 3 Answers - (Newest, 17 November 2007)
A female United States age 51-59, *oriegirl writes:

My ex husbands girlfriend is always the one I deal with when its anything that has to do with our daughter, simply because he is not man enough to talk to me or show up in front of my door when my daughter goes over his house.

Every time his girlfriend calls me, she questions me about our past relationship and like an idiot I tell her, and we kinda compare our situations from before and now. I know this is probably wrong of me to do it but, its too late now... She tells me how he says he never loved me and he doesnt know why he married me and yada yada yada, i really dont care anymore I am just glad Im done with him, We just never agreed on anything, plus he was a big a cheater, a liar and a woman beater!!

Anyways, Her and I seem to get along pretty well, And of course I always have to brag of my current situation, I now have a wonderful man who treats me right, he treats me with respect, and most important of all he truly cares and loves me!

But this week she told me something that he said and got me mad so I told her that he went to look for me at my work early this year. She was pregnant then. He had told me not to tell her. Well, She ended up calling him and asked him if it was true, of course he denied it but later admitted it was true. Well, that caused a whole lot of conflict between them two, supposedly they are splitting up now. Did I do wrong In telling her that??? It was true though! We both have a child from this man and Lately we have been talking like buddies. Is this wrong?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2007):

I am in the EXACT same position as you are, minus the abuse part. Only, my ex's gf drives me up the wall with everything. She and him really shouldn't get married, but I tell her the truth all the time. Wether she likes it or not. Sometimes she asks, sometimes she doesn't. At the same time I swear she occassionally takes pleasure in telling me intimate details of their relationship. So right or wrong...if you don't feel bad about it, I wouldn't worry about it. If you do...I would step back and just try not to get involved any more than you already are. I would back out and refuse to discuss their relationship any further. You can still be friends with her, just tell her you would prefer not to discuss your ex with her. There are lots of other things to talk about. In my case my ex and I are still friends and I just get irritated because she says he has to tell her everything we talk about which I don't agree with. But anyway, I hope that helps.

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A female reader, Basschick Australia +, writes (26 October 2007):

Basschick agony auntHey, she always asks so as far as I'm concerned, she was bound to find out something sooner or later that was not ideal about this guy. Don't beat yourself up about it. She's probably been having her doubts about him all along, that's why she kept you as a friend, and asked so many questions.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (26 October 2007):

I think that as long as you were telling the absolute truth then you have done nothing wrong.

Obviously something was said that made your blood boil and so you sort of used the truth as a weapon. I cant see why that is a bad thing. If you lied just to cause hurt then yes, but you didnt.

I hope you can remain friends with the girlfriend. It seems that would be somewhat a shame to throw away reguardless of the circumstances. You seem to have lots in common. Including an ex now!

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