A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:i want to divorce my wife...there is no intamacy or love between us anymore. she refuses to go to counselling now. she says she won't give me a divorce. we've become roommates instead of married lovers. i think we should never have got married in the first place. i feel so lonely and miserable with her.
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female
reader, calamitysil  +, writes (28 November 2007):
 It doesn't sound as if there's anything in your relationship that's worth saving. Your wife doesn't want to resolve the situation and you cannot carry a relationship on your own. There's nothing worse than the loneliness between 2 people who live together but no longer love each other. Believe me it's better to be on your own than to live like this as it will slowly destroy your spirit. Can you not move out? Maybe then she might take you seriously? Why won't she grant you a divorce? Is she being obstructive or is she in denial about the state of the marriage? I'll hazard a guess if she's in your age bracket, that she's frightened to grant the divorce as she'll be on her own and maybe for her even a miserable marriage is preferable to living alone.
A
female
reader, Basschick  +, writes (28 November 2007):
 Your wife cannot stop you from getting a divorce. She may make it difficult but if you want out, you simply go through the process. Apparently you and your wife had different ideas about marriage going into it. I'm assuming you've tried talking to her about your needs, and nothing has changed. Perhaps you should consider a consultation with a good divorce attorney. Or have an affair. Marriage is a two-way street, filled with compromise and communication and yes, intimacy. Your wife has done nothing to hold up her end of the marital contract. I wish you the best.
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