A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have a bit of a strange question to ask.Basically my best friend is married, we are extremely close and so relaxed around one another. Sometimes its like we are the same person, it gets scary at times.We competly understand one another, whilst the rest of the world seems to think were bonkers!We finish each others sentences,crack jokes out of almost anything and the other one will often finish the joke off- anything can start it off, one time it only took a dog sittin outside a shop and the gags were flowing all day.We often know what the other is thinking without even saying anything, we.l know what mood each other is in without even being being in the same. Room. It sounds daft but its scary to me.My question is, are we like this because he is my soulmate? Or do you have to be in a relationship with the person for that to be the case?
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best friend, married man, soulmate Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2011): Soul mates aren't born, they are made over time with dedication, trials and tribulation and surviving all of that.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2011): Why don't you ask his wife this question?
Where is his wife while u are with him? Wh are u both spending so much time together at the expense of his marriage?
This "soulmates" concept is overrated.
LoveGirl
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A
female
reader, angelDlite +, writes (13 June 2011):
 soulmates, twin souls, karmic partners etc are not necessarily romantic partners. they can be friends, family members even a pet. karma can bring people together some of their life times and sometimes it is not in a positive way but it is the universes way of righting wrongs. is his wife ok with your close friendship though? if you are a true friend to him, be careful coz i am sure you would not want to harm his marriage
x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2011): Thankyou to everyone who gave good advice- to all of the people telling me to stay away from him, we have been FRIENDS for years. He married his wife just 2 years ago. Nothing has ever been romantic between us so please stop being so judgemental.
I did state in my question that we are best friends, and my question was do u have to be romantically involved with your soulmate? Not how I can destroy his marraige.
But thanks for all your input.
Op
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2011): He might be yours but you ain't his. don't persue a married man.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (13 June 2011):
 Well,no. Not in a romantic sense. If he had been your soulmate in that sense, he would have married you , not his wife.
The are people though with whom we are extremely compatible, intellectually and personalitywise, and that in time brings to an uncanny closeness that's almost telepathy.
My best ( female ) friend lives in a different town now,.. and I don't even have to bother calling her when I want to ask her opinion about something. Most of the times , I'll just think " I wonder what X feels about this ", and the day after I'll get an e-mail from her about just that subject !
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A
female
reader, Anonymous 123 +, writes (13 June 2011):
 I personally dont believe in soulmates. Its just that you have a good connection with someone and you have a natural affinity towards them. However, if you believe in this concept, then no, I dont think its necessary to be in a relationship with someone to be their soulmate. You can have the same/similar connection with a girl friend or a sibling, but you needn't be in a romantic relationship with them to establish that connection.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2011): "My question is, are we like this because he is my soul mate?" No, you're like that because you're best friends. My best guy friend and I have the same kind of almost telepathic understanding of each others thoughts. He's definitely not my soul mate hehe. OP it's just a matter of familiarity.
You spend enough time with someone then you're thoughts will sync with theirs to a certain degree.
A soul mate is someone that completes you OP. It's kind of similar and the same things can happen but it's so much more deep than just synchronized thoughts. A soul mate is person that's just everything you ever wanted in another person as your partner in life and even more than that they're someone who has something you didn't even know you were missing. It's kind of hard to explain, all I can say is the same thing I would say to a person when they ask "How do you know when you're in love?" The answer is the same, you'll know when it happens and there'll be no doubt in your mind. Basically if you have to ask or your unsure then you're not in love.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2011): This does not mean you'r soul mates. Many good friends have this kind of relationship. I do with a life long friend but she certainly isn't my soul mate (we're both heterosexual anyway).
And if you were there is no reason to ruin his current relationship. If you're fated to be together it will happen when it's meant to.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2011): Yes. You have to be in a relationship with the person to be that case. Else you will end up ruining your friends marriage and in that process you will ruin yours. You have to find your own guy. If you continue this, you will have heart aches. This is not healthy at all. Please stay away from married people. My sincerest advice ! All the best !
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2011): hmmm, no I think what you describe doesn't sound like proof of being soul mates. I think there's definitely "soul mate potential" but I don't think you can say for sure that you are soul mates.
I do think you have to be in a relationship with someone to know if you're soul mates or not. if you're not in a relationship that means you don't really know each other that well so how can you say for certain that you're soul mates?
sharing the same sense of humor is not by itself indicative that you're soul mates - this can get killed off by serious issues and serious personality flaws which you don't and can't know about unless you're in a relationship with someone.
Finishing each other's sentences is not particular to soul mates- friends and buddies and BFF's do that all the time. 'reading each other's minds' - if you're fixated on someone for long enough you will notice and predict their mood just based on the increased time you're spending observing them. and also, "mind reading" takes on a sour note when a relationship is tested by negativity.
you need more substance than what you've described, and which endures the test of time through ups and downs, to be able to say that you're soul mates. But since he's married, there isn't morally room to grow the relationship further to get to that level where "soul mate-ness" will be revealed if it's there.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2011): Your playing with fire - hes married and not to you - he's a friend your in tune with - not a soulmate
Distance yourself and find other friends to spend time with, you may just find you have alot in common with others too
And get yourself a partner of your own (if your single)and stop focusing on him
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