A
female
age
30-35,
*vanka
writes:I am 18 years old and i met this guy at a wedding long story short we hooked up a few times after the wedding and he became my bf and we start having sex the first time we did it i didnt want to but he said if i didnt dont ever call him back i loved him so much i went all the way he took my virginity i cried for days knowing i didnt want to do it . Days after i found out he has a girl he says he dosen't like her and i asked him why are you with her then he said i wont understand so i asked him when he would come and meet my parents he said that he would think bout it reason being he use to move around with my cousin and my family would label me if i he came home by me .As time passed i hardly hear from him its like he had enough of me and wants know more .I CRY EVERY DAY ASKING MYSELF THESE QUESTIONSHow do I say goodbye to someone I never really had? Why do my tears fall so endlessly for someone who was never really mine? Why is it I miss someone I was never really with? And why do I love someone whose love was never really mine?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (12 June 2011):
 Honey, all of us come across our share of jerks. This guy was yours. But instead of crying and mourning, you should CELEBRATE!! Good riddance to bad rubbish! This guy was a jerk who just wanted to get into your pants. Never, EVER trust any guy who says, "dont call me again if you wont have sex with me now", or, "dont you trust me"?
Its usually the signal to pack your bags and run for the hills.
Dont cry over someone who doesn't deserve your tears. And more importantly, dont cry for someone who wont cry for you. No guy in this world is worth your tears, and when you find someone who is special, he will never make you cry. Thank your stars that this sham was over before things got much worse. You will get over it, once you realize that getting rid of this guy was the best thing that could have happened to you.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2011): Imagining him as a worthy guy will not make him a worthy guy. It will not make you stop feeling bad about what you did.
Face it, he's a player and you let yourself be used. You will stop feeling victimized when you admit your mistakes and take responsibility for them. If you don't like how this turned out then act differently next time.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2011): Don't say goodbye, say good ridance!!!
That was a lucky escape, he is now somebody elses problem and no doubt some other girl will be crying over him.
He was a player, certainly not worth bothering yourself about.
Look at the brightside, at least you are away from him...
At least you're not married to him...
Wouldnt it be much worse to be with him for years or married to him, for you to discover he is a cheat and a user.
You trusted this guy way to easily, but you are young and my advice is to put it down to experience, get to really know a person first before jumping into bed with them.
There will always be guys like him you just have to have enough self esteem to know you deserve better and not get involved with such a guy.
Don't dwell on this, put it behind you, spend time with your friends doing things you enjoy.
Good Luck.x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2011): Oh man I'm sorry. Well because you feel used. Part of your pain is anger at yourself for not standing up to his requests. For letting him get away with walking all over you.
You think you love him but you don't. Love is a totally different experience. Love is a feeling that develops as part of a mutual give and take. It's balanced. It requires respect between two people. He never showed you love. In this case, you gave, he took.
Just be strong. You are not the first person this has happened to and you won't be the last. Everybody makes mistakes. Its natural. The point is not to make the same mistake twice. So now you know that your body is your temple. And any man who pressures you to doing anything you don't want to do does not love or respect you. And doesn't deserve any of you. You live, you learn. Just get right back up and don't let this get you down any longer. Move on and be strong.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2011): He just wanted to sleep with you and he was cheating on that girl too. There is really no need to cry for him. I think he doesn't deserve it. Hell never keep anyone happy as he is already cheating on a girl who must be with him for a long time or just found someone else to spend a night with. You're crying for something which was never there.You don't have to say goodbye to him because you didn't know him that well. Forget him. Be around people. And go out and stuff thatll not give you a chance to think so much. Next time be careful with whom you're going with. First know that person properly and take things slowm. Never let a person force you for anything because its about you and not only them. And cut all the ties with him. If he calls never pick up and never reply to his messages. Take care.
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