A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Me and my boyfriend of 6 years have split up but we are currently still living together as I dont want to chuck him out as we have a son, he is moving out in the next month. I love him with all my heart but, It wasnt working as he has anger issues and yells at me constantly, ive tried so hard to make things work and hes put zero effort in, so i felt like i was wasting my time.Ive recently met someone else, we havent done anything, but I know he wants to, i'm really nervous about it because we are meeting up a few weeks, in a hotel as he lives 9 hours away. i'm so scared of having sex with another person I wouldnt know what to do! and I worry that i'll regret it. I know that i dont have to have sex with him, but staying in a hotel with him for two nights... it kind of suggests otherwise. I told him I wasnt like that and he just replied cheekly "we'll see, you can try and resist me, but you wont be able to" im so confused! I do want to have sex with him, but dont want to regret it.
View related questions:
my ex, sex with another, split up Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (16 June 2011):
 I would say don't even think about it. It doesn't seem like you know this man very well. In any case you're getting out of a long relationship and still trying to heal, don't do anything that will make it more messy and painful for you. Give it time before you think about getting physical with someone else. Whose idea was it, to spend 2 nights in the hotel? Most likely his?
He doesn't sound like he has the best of motives. Whether he knows of your situation or not, he doesn't give a damn. He just wants to get into your pants.
Remember the golden rule when it comes to sex, when in the slightest doubt, DON'T EVER DO IT
A
female
reader, RedAthena  +, writes (15 June 2011):
 Have you and your ex ever TALKED about dating other people WHILE in your living arrangement?
No, you do not have to have sex with someone on the first date. It is NOT just up to him. What concerns me is that this sounds like a first meet and he thinks you can not resist him after you said you "arent that kind of girl".
Actually, if you are considering sharing a room with someone you ARE NOT SURE about..he is convinced YOU ARE that kind of GIRL. In his eyes, you are pliable and easy to manipulate with little effort.
Respect your own boundaries by setting the limits UP FRONT. Stay somewhere seperate.
All those little voices you hear in your head right now are your internal warning system that something may not be right and to be careful. Listen to your instincts.
Be sensible and safe. You should not be spending a weekend with someone you do not really know well.
Best Wishes.
...............................
A
male
reader, drew22 +, writes (15 June 2011):
 I dont know about anyone else but something smells fishy here lol. I would be vary about this guy. Do you even truly know him and what he does? He could be a raper on the loose for all we know. And having sex on the first encounter? Shows you what kinda guy he is.. If you don't want to have sex with him, i would suggest you call the whole thing off b/c it looks like he wont take no for an answer when your at the hotel. By the way, make sure someone knows where your at if you do decide to go.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2011): Is this guy off the internet? Be very careful - he knows your situation I take it and is already saying that you won't be able to resist him - so sex is what he wants not a relationship - at a guess.
If sex is all you want with the excitement of a stranger then fine - so long as you tell a friend where you will be and be aware of your own safety. Or suggest you meet at the Hotel, have drinks a meal, then you go home and meet up the next day - you don't have to stop over. Not because of your ex,thats over, but you
...............................
A
female
reader, Battista +, writes (15 June 2011):
This only an assumption so please correct me if I am wrong, however I am guessing that you haven't met this man before. Ignoring everything else in the picture, I wouldn't suggest having sex on a first date, but that is just my opinion. To me it feels like you might be giving yourself away too quickly.
I would question your decision to stay with him in a hotel for two nights if you are sure that you do not want sex. I am also guessing that you will be sharing a bed, or will you have separate rooms? If you have separate rooms, which would be a good idea in this situation, then you should be able to avoid having sex with him if you don't want to.
Apart from anything else, please be careful when going to meet this guy. How well do you know him? Make sure people know where you are going to be. If you only met him recently are you still getting to know him? Please give us a few more details.
...............................
A
female
reader, Aunty Abzy +, writes (15 June 2011):
 You'll not know untill your there, if things just happen without you thinking about it you wont regret it. If you dont want too have sex with him you will be worried and stressed about it so dont have sex with him. It all depends on the night and how things go.As for the text i think thats just flirting, so nothing too worry about there he cant force you too do something you dont want too. If you do like him and your over your ex then things shoudln't be a problem.And you must have had sex before so dont worry about how its going too be with this guy as everyone you go with will have different styles and techniques :)Dont worry and go with the flow - If the flows not right for you, come home cos he obviously isnt the guy for you :)Good luck and i hope you have a good night xx
...............................
A
male
reader, eek +, writes (15 June 2011):
 if you are completely over your partner you will be ok. If not you might feel bad or confused after.
My current gf and myself had a simular start and for via reason i insisted that at the start we did not have sex. We just laid next to each other naked with our arms round each other and talked. We were comfortable together and it made for a good start to the relationship. If your not ready to sleep with him yet tell him. If he respects you he will honor that.
Be careful as if he is saying you cant resist him he might be just wanting the thril of getting you into bed.
Good luck. I hope things go as you want.
...............................
|
