A
female
age
26-29,
*hapsodyRach
writes:Hi, my name is Rach and I'm 14 years old... thing is, I have a really huge crush on this teacher and yes, signs are there that he likes me back. Every time I'm near him I catch him looking at me, and there was once my two friends confronted him and asked if he felt the same way for me as I did him. He said yes. We have a lot in common and he's really easy to talk to. And I've liked him for about 10 months now. He always makes up excuses and says the randomest things in order to get me to talk to him. That's not just me either - my friends have noticed this too. And that's just the happy part.A few weeks ago I found out he had a Facebook account. So, I added him. The next day, he told me he had to ignore me online because he doesn't accept or add his students. At first I believed him. Then a couple of weeks later, he got mentioned in a conversation about Facebook among my friends and I. And guess what? I found out that he accepted my friends when they added him. Not only that, he's been adding everyone in my class online, even students that he barely knows. Except me. Feels like he's boycotting me or something. Since then I've been trying to ignore him and so far, I'm doing a pretty decent job at that. But it's hard. To be honest, I don't want to ignore him. I don't want to hate or dislike him either. But I don't have any other choice.I really need some help on handling this. I don't know what to do anymore. I really don't.Would appreciate any advice on this problem.Thanks,xx Rach
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 June 2011): Dear, there the plain truth is: It does not matter how you look at this and from what angle you might try and look at it. It is simply a young girls fantasy crush and no more than that. Whether you have 'imagined' him liking you or whether it is real and he does. The truth is it is very innapropriate on his part. Try and leave it at that.
Men need to be aware that they are father and brother figures to all young women. You need to respect this boundary EVEN if he does not for some reason.
A
female
reader, RhapsodyRach +, writes (15 June 2011):
RhapsodyRach is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi guys! First of all, I'd like to say thanks a lot for the very helpful answers. Um... I guess I forgot one part in my question yesterday.
He doesn't teach me, he just used to, last year. I guess that was when I started liking him. I hated him a LOT in the first place. He teaches English to the class next door.
Thanks again and would like more answers if possible. You guys have been really sweet :)
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A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (14 June 2011):
 Also, why is your teacher adding his students as friends on Facebook? Sure he has a personal life and a Facebook account, but that should be for his friends and his personal contacts, not for students. Being a teacher, he should be all the more careful in keeping his personal and professional life apart, because he's dealing with young students here. His students do not need to know personal details of his life and be privy to his personal info.
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A
female
reader, Battista  +, writes (14 June 2011):
My guess is that he knows you like him in a "romantic" way. As a result I think perhaps he didn't want to be your friend because he doesn't want to encourage you. Just try not to think about it- he's only your teacher, not a friend.Persevere with ignoring him and I'm sure you will soon find someone else more suited to you.
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A
male
reader, Mark_25_ +, writes (14 June 2011):
 You really need to open your eyes here. Most people at some point have a crush on a teacher, but next to nobody thinks of it as anything more.
You really need to forget about him, as anonymous123 outlined, you both could get in a lot of trouble - not only could he get fired, but he could end up in prison, and he would never be able to work in a school / with kids for the rest of his life. He could already get in trouble for having students as friends on his facebook account. Your 14, and I'm sorry to say it, quite naive of your feelings. It might seem like your in love etc, but believe me, it's only because it's the first time your feeling these things that you think it must be love. Your really need to forget about any ideas of anything happening.
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A
female
reader, chickpea2011  +, writes (14 June 2011):
 Hi Rach,
Sorry that you're feeling this way. I guess is normal to have crush on teachers? But, you have to realize that it should end as that. Its ok, its cute, but he's an adult and you're not only a student, but minor. Will never go any further. You cannot think of him as a serious crush.
I am happy that he's also a good friend to you, but if you take this flirting and crush any further it will make your teacher uncomfortable and you'll only hurt yourself.
I am sure he likes you and think you're a great, smart student. If he's ignoring you is that he's starting to feel uncomfortable and probably knows about your feelings. Its not about you, but he's doing the right thing and protecting you.
Maybe he's not adding you to facebook because he's afraid and concern that if you teacher do that, he will give you false hope. I am sure he doesn't want to get further than that. Your teacher is afraid that you'll start having more deep feelings and that's the last thing he wants now.
It will never be more than student, teacher, because its wrong, illegal and he can loose his job and go to jail.
Crushes are normal and healthy in your age. You're a young lady becoming a young woman. You'll develop new feelings and its part of growing up. How you're feeling now is normal and healthy, ok.
My suggestion is to approach him in a good, appropriate time and ask him directly why he didn't add you in his facebook. Don't be angry or pressure him, because his not doing anything wrong and he has the right to do whatever he wants. But, explain to him that you know all your friends are in his page, that you don't understand why you cannot be part and tell him that you feel hurt and left out.
Good luck, feel better and don't think too much, its not a big deal
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2011): Indeed it is creepy and could have him fired and you in a lot of trouble, stay away, switch classes to another teacher if you can dear.
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male
reader, jonk  +, writes (14 June 2011):
I am surprised your teacher has made facebook friends with ANY students in the school, this is not a good move for him. Teachers are usually advised not to be friends with students on facebook, for obvious reasons. Who wants students seeing photos of you getting drunk with your friends on the weekend?
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A
female
reader, Anonymous 123 +, writes (14 June 2011):
You dont have to hate or dislike your teacher and you dont have to love him either. He is your teacher and you are meant to learn from him, not have romantic fairy tale dreams about him. Where is it going to go anyway? So what if he adds or doesn't add you on Facebook? Whats going to happen? Is he going to tell you, "wow, you're my Facebook friend, I must have you"!?
Your teacher is not supposed to have a romantic association with you. Not only is that creepy, it can get him fired. You're 14 years old, find boys your own age to have a crush on. Your teacher has probably realized his folly and is trying to make up for it by not accepting your friend request
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