A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My partner keeps saying my butt is too small and that I need to eat more to make it bigger. However, a few years ago before we got together and were just mates, he once let slip that his ex had the best butt in the world. Now I'm getting annoyed by him contantly telling me my butt is too small when in reality women would kill to have my butt. I wouldnt say its perfect but its damn good and looks really hot in jeans, skirt etc. What do I do? Its too trivial to break up over, and I tried telling him to shut up. my bf fat and my ex was ripped so should I mention that, I know that he hates being fat so it would really get to him. I just dont want to be that person though.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (3 December 2013):
 Ummm yeah OP It is a HUGE issue and more than enough to break up with him over.
He likes big butts and he cannot lie...but he can either leave you in search of a bigger butt or he can STFU!
I'll give you an example of how this works:
my husband insists we sleep in the same bed every night even though I snore and I have restless leg and I've OFFERED over and over to move into our spare room. NOT make him move.... NOT end the marriage... just ACCOMMODATE his needs..
Subsequently when he whines and complains that he can't sleep because of my snoring or my restless leg, I tell him
"you can have me sleep in the same bed as you ONLY if you don't complain about it. IF you continue to complain about it I will move out of our bedroom"
He's stopped complaining about it.... you can't have it both ways.
IF your BF loves YOU the way you are... then he will STFU about your tushie.
IF he does not STFU about it... then clearly he's not happy with you or the relationship but is too much of a wussy wimp to do anything about it.
I'd say to him the next time he says something about it:
"honey darling, love of my life, I have the butt I have. IT'S NOT getting bigger and NOTHING you say will change that. IF YOU DO NOT LIKE it you have two options
a. you can STFU about it
or
b. YOU CAN LEAVE.
now dearest heart... I've warned YOU... IF YOU MENTION the size of my butt in a NEGATIVE manner ONE MORE TIME, you will be talking to yourself and dating Rosie Palm because I WILL BE LEAVING YOUR RUDE, non-supportive, inconsiderate childish self."
and MEAN IT.
A
male
reader, DonaldJ  +, writes (2 December 2013):
One way to handle it.. is to declare that "the experts say if you 100% stop having sex for 2-years, your butt will grow twice its size.. Tell him you've just started the program, to see if it really does work.. and that you plan to break the program the moment your butt is the perfect size.. And hand him a little guide book on "the ways and pleasures of masturbation"... If there's any manhood left in him, he will shut up immediately.. If he still is into fighting and insulting you to try to motivate you, dump him.. He's just a mummy's boy, trying to recreate you into the mummy he needs that he never had.. Buy him a rubber doodie for xmess...
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (12 June 2011):
 "I already have a fat ass in my life. You."
"Knock it off with the 'eat more because your butt is too small' crap. I'm tired of hearing about it and honestly, I have about one nerve left, and you are getting on it. I'm healthy, I'm happy and I like the way I look. If you don't like it, well, then, I guess we aren't compatible and we may as well break up."
If he's that big a jerk, why do you want to be with him, exactly? Maybe he has good qualities but needs some additional training.
Just don't take his nonsense. If he throws some at you, throw it back. Seriously, life's too short to go through it with a critic of this type. I'd probably break up with him, as I expect there are other things going on here than just wanting you to have more fat on your body.
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A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (12 June 2011):
 He's a jerk for constantly bringing it up. Tell him for the last time that you have had enough of his comments and you are not going to lose or gain weight just to satisfy his fantasy of a fat ass.
As you say, this is not a big enough matter to break up for, but this guy needs to be shown his place. Dont be nice to him for too long...he's taking your silence as a weakness. Tell him that you dont comment on his weight so he should not comment on your butt. That should get the message across. If he still doesnt stop, tell him that you will get a bigger butt only if he gets ripped.
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A
male
reader, eddie85 +, writes (12 June 2011):
 I agree with Cerberus on this one. He needs to knock it off with the comments. How do you think he'd feel if you said his penis was too small?
These comments don't help a relationship and ultimately hurt in the long run.
I would suggest talking to him next time he brings it up and explain that it hurts your feelings and in no uncertain terms tell him to knock it off. You may want to look at other ways he may be putting you down as this may be the tip of a large problem.
Good luck.
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A
male
reader, Dodds  +, writes (11 June 2011):
 i agree with cerberus on this,if he isnt making you feel good n +ve about your being in a rltshp with him,over time it will break down,you know women are experts at overlooking mens flaws after being with them a while to the point complacency kicks in. So just sit him down n talk to him on a serious note,let him know how what he says n does really makes you feel..n also if you feel he needs to shed a few pounds,you need to be careful about how you go about letting him know coz men also are notorious for having fragile egos n the women in their lives have alot of influence over their men,some times without even knowing it,as subconsciously men do sm things for their woman to get validation frm her,but first things first..you need to sit him down n have a serious talk.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2011): OP ask him why is he with you when he wants to change you. Tell him if he wants a fat ass to go off and find one.
Sit him down and tell him one last time he is never to bring that up again that you're really annoyed at it and you'll eventually grow to despise him for it.
If he still wont stop after you making it very clear that you're getting really upset about it, then tell him you'll grow a fat butt when he gets ripped.
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