A
female
age
36-40,
*icoleray143
writes:My fiance wants to get matching couple tattoos but not each others names. It makes me feel like he is unsure about our future. Could that be the reason why?? I want to get his name on me and he get my name on him. I want this because i see a future with him. I see forever. Maybe he don't. Can you please help me and tell me how i should feel in this situation??
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2011): If you are promised to each other then a tattoo doesn't matter a fig. Even if he did have your name inked into his body...that would only mean he will obey your command! It doesn't mean he thinks any more or less of you. I think you are the one who feels unsure about him. Because he is not doing as YOU want. He might feel it would be like being branded by an 'owner'. And even if he did do it to keep you happy, he could always go over it later with a 'cover' if you parted. So he is not saying he doesn't want one because he is unsure of you. He probably just doesn't want to feel bagged and tagged with someones name on him. I can get that. I wouldn't like it either. My partner has a tattoo over his heart saying...My One True Love.. and then my name. He respects my wish not to have one though. Each to his own i say! If you want one then get one but you should respect his wishes and not try to guilt him into something hes not comfortable doing.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2011): I'm certain all those other people who got their partner's name etched into their skin felt the same way you do. But your boyfriend is being smart here. There are no guarantees in life.
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A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (18 June 2011):
 It doesnt mean that he's insecure. Its just that he might not like the idea of having a name tattooed on his body. Maybe he has something else in mind. Its very subjective and every person will interpret it in his own way. If he was unsure, he would have never wanted matching couple tattoos.
Personally, I think having names tattooed is a little tacky. Why would you want to do that? You know you love him and he knows he loves you. Then why the declaration of this love by having your names tattooed on each other? When you have so many other creative, fun tattoo ideas to choose from, why just this? Its a sign of your insecurity...like trying to mark your ground or trying to show each other that you care so much.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2011): If he's your fiancee, obviously he sees a future with you. I don't think he's insecure. In my opinion, it just sounds like he doesn't want it to look badly. Many people think name tattoos are tacky and ugly, and if your fiancee has gotten tattoos in the past or is into tattoos, he probably already has an idea of what he wants it look like. And you don't need a name tattoo to stay together anyway.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (18 June 2011):
 Actually, I personally see it as insecurity to want my partner to wear a tattoo of my name and expecting him to want to or else think that he doesn't see "forever", and if I were with someone who made a big deal out of my having one with his name on it, it would unnerve me. It's a lot like marking one's territory, and again, it's an insecure expectation.
If you want to do it, then it's your expression of love towards him. If he doesn't do it that way, enjoy how he chooses to express love to you. Since he's your fiance, I'd say the proposal of marriage far outweighs a tattoo in terms of "forever" thinking. Marriage is a greater sacrifice and giving of one's self.
I'd be confident in that and not worry that he doesn't want to do the whole name tattooing thing, which is more a matter of style anyways.
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A
male
reader, The Realist  +, writes (18 June 2011):
 I don't think that he would want this if he was unsure about the future. It's true that a tattoo won't keep you two together and he would not want that on his body if he didn't truely want to be with you.
My concern is how long you two have thought about this. I spent over eight months thinking about my tattoo. It doesn't have to do with a person but it is still important to note that it is permanent. Don't get me wrong, I think it is a sweet gesture but it will be there forever.
Try to think about it in the way that he loves you so he wants to do this to show his love not as a way to hold the relationship together.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2011): I think you need to be less insecure. being with someone - even in a marriage - doesn't mean you 'own' them. and besides, if you're engaged, then when you get married you can wear wedding rings as a symbol of your commitment to each other. why should a tattoo matter?
you're reading his lack of enthusiasm as a sign of him being unsure about your future. I think this is your insecurity speaking. maybe he simply doesn't like the idea of having a name tattooed on himself. I wouldn't want my husband's name tattooed on me (we've been married 12 years, been together 18 years) and I don't think it appropriate for him to tattoo anyone's name on himself not even mine.
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