A
female
age
30-35,
*hiteRose16
writes:Last night I had sex with my cousin. I don't know what I was thinking, it just happened. But I must admit I did come onto him first. When we were young we used to just "hump" and we didn't really care we were just kids being kids. But now that were way older we know right from wrong. I feel so stupid. he is my moms twin sisters son. am I really wrong for it. I'm so embarrassed and humiliated. I don't even wanna look at him and what makes it really bad is that hes always over here and I'm starving because I don't wanna go downstairs where he is. Is this a really bad sin because I feel really bad for it and I keep praying and asking for forgiveness. I just feel so bad, if it was another guy i wouldn't feel like this.
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female
reader, WhiteRose16 +, writes (4 November 2011):
WhiteRose16 is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thank you everyone. Things arent awkward at all now. he never brings it up and i dont either. so thats good. we speak to each other at school sometimes. i really appreciate your help ( :
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2011): i understand how you feel i had sex with my cousin and felt disgusted with myself but everyone makes mistakes you just got to move on and forget about it
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2011): I agree with Cadien. Everybody does something they regret so you are not the only one. Perhaps talking to your cousin will help as he probably feels the same way. Or at least you can let him know you never wish this to happen again. I understand you feel awful, but you must also be gentle with yourself and at some point forgive yourself. Hope you feel better soon.
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A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (14 June 2011):
 Wait a second...how is it possible that it "just happened"? How can you just have sex with someone, and of all people, your cousin??! Either you two have been fooling around for some time or you have absolutely no logic and control!
You have to face him sometime and talk about what happened. Set some rules and boundaries. If you think this was a mistake, this must NEVER happen again. Think with your head, not with your hormones. There's nothing you can do now except learn from your mistake and move on
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (14 June 2011):
 Well that is the thing with bad decisions. They tend to be right in our faces for a while.
Regretting it is not going to make it go away. So what can you do? Well, you can accept that you CHOSE to have sex and it was a mistake to have sex with him. Then, forgive yourself for making that mistake. Talk to him and tell him that it will never happen again. LEARN from this. At your age the hormones are raging and being in control 24/7 can be hard.
Next time you get into a situation you aren't 100% about. TAKE the time to think. Those few minutes is worth it. It beats a life time of regrets.
Life happens. You will be hard pressed to find an adult who hasn't dome something "dumb" in their teen age years. It's part of life. We make mistakes, we learn (hopefully) and (hopefully) become better human beings.
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A
female
reader, Sandys Advice  +, writes (14 June 2011):
 Hi, you must have fancied your cousin in some way to have had sex with him why else would you do it? it was a silly thing to do but its done now and you cant change it, however i dont think you should be starving yourself just because you dont wanna face your cousin some day no matter how long away your gonna have to face him and if you dont your mom's are going to get really suspicious, so i reckon you should have a talk with him and maybe ask him not to say it back to anybody it might make you feel a bit at ease if he agress not to tell anybody, dont eat yourself up over it because it wont help and you will drive yourself crazy over it, everybody makes mistakes and does stupid things just dont do it again im not saying its right what you done because its not but i hope you can talk to him and nobody finds out about it good luck :)
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A
male
reader, Cadien  +, writes (14 June 2011):
 I personally think it's not as big a deal as others. People do tend to frown on it due to problems with birth defects. I'm not suggesting you make a habit of it, but I don't think it's something you should worry about for the rest of your life. I also do not think your a bad person in anyway. Everyone does foolish things they regret in the future, it's how everyone learns.
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2011): sleeping with a family member is called insest... which is illegal in the UK (I'm not sure about the US).It's okay to be attracted to your cousin, but I'd recommend not acting on these feelings - it could get you both into a lot of trouble, whether with the law or in your families.You can't live the rest of your life not seeing him, so perhaps sitting down with him and chatting about what happened might clear the air?! I'm sure he is feeling as embarrassed/humiliated as you are, so you're both in the same boat. We have a forgiving God, and if you asked for forgiveness, you will be forgiven. Please don't beat yourself up over it, it's in the past. Maybe you could pray for the courage to approach your cousin and the strength to deal with it?
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A
female
reader, lightandshadows  +, writes (13 June 2011):
I will start with the 'is it a sin' part. Well, you haven't said what religion you hold, however I believe in most religions (those common in the west anyway) it is considered sinful to have sex before marriage. However, I think if you feel repentant and ask for forgiveness, you will be forgiven.However, you say you would feel differently had it been another guy, so I assume it's not the unmarried issue that bothers you the most, but the fact that he is your cousin.Of course it will be awkward, especially since he's around a lot. I suggest you find him on his own some day soon and discuss it. Tell him you felt bad after and ask him how he feels. It seems (since you feel it was wrong) that you don't want it to happen again, so you should make this clear to him. And if you're nervous that your families will get to know, you should ask him to keep it to himself.If you are close to your cousin you should try not to lose this friendship. Perhaps at first you should hang around him when there are other people, like a sibling or a mutual cousin/friend. This way the third person could act as a buffer for awkward silences. :) And try not to put yourself in compromising situations were it might happen again (for example if you're both at a party don't drink as this might lower your inhibitions, and don't hang around in dark rooms alone together).But you most definately cannot avoid him forever, he's family!Good luck!
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