| Latest articles: Just Two
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31 March 2011: I recently read something nice that I would like to share.... JUST TWO. Donate blood twice a year. Donate your eyes after death. Thank God twice a day. Write two letters a week. Visit two ailing people a month. Say two words of gratitude-"...
A little humility goes a long way
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 March 2011: I’ve been a moderator here on DC for a while and it’s a great forum. It really irritates me though when the OP shows no regard for the aunts who’ve taken time to answer questions. We moderators don’t know you, yet we spend time poring over ever...
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Would it be best to wait? New relationship: Is there really anytime where sex is to soon?
Q. after having my daughter 5 months ago, and her father leaving me while i was pregnant .. I Finally met someone amazing . He Makes me laugh , has a great personality , extreamly attractive , has a lot of things going for himself There's nothi...
A. 26 October 2012: Its best to wait a little while longer. Cherish the good time that you have and enjoy the budding relationship. Sex will eventually become a part of it but it shouldn't be the only thing to focus on. ... (read in full...)
He's 64 and I'm not interested. How do I discourage him without ruining the car share system that benefits us all?
Q. I am part of a car share group where one drives and the other three are passengers. We rotate who drives. It works OK. In fact it's very convenient. But two days out of every fortnight there are either one or two of the others not present. Thes occ...
A. 26 October 2012: You are right, you should never allow him into your house if he ever dares to come. Dont contribute to any conversations with him and tell him firmly that you will not tolerate any nonsense from him. Tales of his sexual escapades and and any such ... (read in full...)
Really confused right now. I could really use some advice on dating, please?
Q. I've been dating this girl for about three weeks now. We initially met online and have been chatting and SMS-ing since about June. However due to illness and busy work schedules, we weren't able to meet up until earlier this month. She was the on...
A. 22 October 2012: I think that she's dating a number of men as you said, and is not looking at being exclusive as of now. Maybe you should hold back just a little now and not get too involved because she has made herself pretty clear on where she stands and you don't ... (read in full...)
We've already broken up twice. So is there any hope we can have a future together??
Q. My ex and I had been together 6 months and things seemed to be going just fine. But once school started he began to pull away. After 8 days he told me that i was beginning to annoy him and that wed have to break up if it didn't stop. I started...
A. 22 October 2012: Its not worth it OP. This guy is rude and obnoxious and he has the cheek to tell you that he likes the other girl and is constantly dumping you for her. What does that make you? Sloppy seconds? In any case I think the reason that he came crying the ... (read in full...)
B/f accuses me of cheating on him but I didnt do anything wrong!
Q. I have been with my boyfriend a year and a half. We live together and have never been apart more than a day. He is constantly accusing me of cheating on him and doesn't trust me at all. (He is 40 and I'm 27 by the way) Every single girl he has ever ...
A. 22 October 2012: OP you are just digging a great big hole for yourself to fall into by being into this relationship with your B/f.
Do you know when the need to hide the truth arises? When telling the truth and bearing the consequences is so terrible that its bett... (read in full...)
Is giving a blow job to another guy cheating? My Bf is getting all worked up about what I did.
Q. This is just a quick one so you guys can help see my bf that he is over reacting. We've been going out for just over 1 year and we are very much in love. at the start of the relationship we did everything that we could possibly do both socially an...
A. 20 October 2012: Dont try to get out of this on a technicality. You cheated. Performing a sex act on a man is cheating and oral sex IS a sex act. How would you have felt about this if you found out that your boyfriend was going down on another woman? Do you think ... (read in full...)
If someone was so horrible in the beginning of the relationship can they completely change and learn better ways to behave?
Q. After two years, I'm back! What's funny is, I can still look at questions I've asked over my (going on) four year relationship. I love my fiance', but there have been so many problems, I'm shocked we've lasted this long. Faced everything from ...
A. 19 October 2012: OK here's the thing. Nobody can really tell you whether or not your boyfriend has changed because no one can possibly know what's in his mind. The bigger picture however is that you seem to have major trust issues and I doubt if you can ever get ... (read in full...)
We're hopelessly incompatible. So how do I prepare myself for the break-up?
Q. I deeply and truly love this guy and we've been in a committed relationship for the past two years. However, I have realised (he realises it too, but won't admit it) that we're hopelessly incompatible. We make each other miserable but we still st...
A. 18 October 2012: Why do you want to drag a dead relationship? You know you are incompatible, you know its not going to work, you know its all wrong and yet you're unable to take the plunge because the fear of actually doing it is stopping you but trust me OP, the ... (read in full...)
What do I do now? I lied and told my boyfriend that I wasn't a virgin
Q. So this is the problem, this guy I really liked we met on a night out and instantly hit it off, we were attracted to each other so much and i don't know how this came out in our conversation but we ended up talking about how many people we slept ...
A. 16 October 2012: This is ridiculous! You don't have to lie about being a virgin, in fact, I thought it was a good thing if you saved yourself for the right person and didn't just give in to peer pressure and have sex with the first guy you met!
If this guy does... (read in full...)
There are decent guys like me who get no where. Why do some girls allow guys to treat them in disrespectful ways?
Q. My friends are always giving me a hard time calling me nasty names because they say I treat girls "too nice". At first I use to brush it off but now it is getting really old hearing them go on and on about how I better check to see if I still ah...
A. 14 October 2012: Stop stereotyping girls. Its your idiotic friends who are the problem, not women. Why do you even hang out with people like them? On the one hand you say that you were raised to treat girls with respect and love and on the other hand you choose to ... (read in full...)
Is it too early to do this? Should I allow this boy to come into my tent while we are camping and share my sleeping bag?
Q. I'm 14 (girl) I have been talking to this guy that I met the other day, we have been sending hearts. He's coming camping with me and one of my friends and one of his. He wants to if he can sleep in the swag (sleeping bag) with me, is it to early fo...
A. 13 October 2012: Do your parents know about it? How is it that you are being allowed to go camping with a friend and 2 boys whom you barely know? And come on, you cant possibly be that naive, of course he shouldn't be sleeping with you in the same sleeping bag. And ... (read in full...)
I'm 29 and never had sex but should I do it now with my B/f?
Q. Hi So this is a little embarassing for me. Im 29 and Iv never had sex. Iv been with my boyfriend 3 and a half years and hes waiting for me. I know he really wants to do it (as he has before many times before me) Also he has said to me he really n...
A. 12 October 2012: To have sex or not to have sex is purely a personal decision and you should not let ANYONE influence you in any way.
"He has said to me he really needs to do it to feel closer to me and wants me to take a chance on him." OP this is one of the wors... (read in full...)
I'm not doing well at university -- any tips on how to turn my effort into success?
Q. Hey aunties and uncles, this isn't a relationship question, but it's something that's been distressing me quite a lot, I recently failed a subject at university and I feel so very upset because I've studied a lot, I read the books recommended, I ...
A. 12 October 2012: You seem to be putting yourself under a lot of pressure and that is what is affecting your grades. Don't treat an exam like a life or death scenario. If you get stressed, just tell yourself that its just another exam, you've been taking exams all ... (read in full...)
Have the wife and kids, but still dreaming about the chance I never took with my soul mate.
Q. I have been dealing with confusion and pain for about a year and a half now. I am at a point that I need to make a decision to leave my wife or continue to try to be in love with her. I am 35 and have been married for the last 10 years with tw...
A. 10 October 2012: You have to get over your fear of being alone and I think you need counselling for that because it is this fear of yours that has led you to where you are right now. You didn't want to be alone so you married your wife. You then left her to be with ... (read in full...)
Do I call off the engagement because I don't want to marry?
Q. So, I need some advice after accepting my bf's marraige proposal because I'm not sure if I've made a bad decision :( Been together 2 years, he's been pushing to live together for 1 year, I've held off til the last few months and now feel ready t...
A. 9 October 2012: Its wrong to string him along and even though you are in a relatively comfortable space with him right now, you have to think about the future, both yours an his. Be realistic OP, you cant be engaged forever, is that really what you would want? And ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has had sex with 100 girls. Am I just the next one in line?
Q. My boyfriend confessed to having nearly 100 past sexual partners. I'm still a virgin, which makes it a shocker for me. He told me that before he turned 21 (his bday is next month) he wanted to go above 100, but said he would stop at me. He wanted me ...
A. 9 October 2012: You are just a number to him OP, the very fact that he told you that he wanted to go above 100 says it all. This is abnormal sexual behavior for someone who is under 21. Don't waste your time with this guy and get out of this as fast as you can. You ... (read in full...)
Should I be worried about the attention my very popular boyfriend receives from girls?
Q. Me and my b/f are both 17 we have dated for 4 months now. so here is my problem My b/f is a popular football player at my school and all the girls are all over him (and I mean all over him). I was not popular till we stared going out. So anywa...
A. 8 October 2012: As long as your boyfriend is honest and faithful and is a decent guy who will never disrespect you, you have nothing to worry about. He has never given you any reason to be insecure and YOU are his girlfriend. Not any of the other girls who swoon ... (read in full...)
My cousin's husband was shamelessly hitting on me and I told him to back off and yet somehow my cousin thinks I'M the desperate one who's flinging herself on a married man!
Q. Please help! Last month, my cousin's hd hit on me. they've been married for almost six years now, and i recently moved back home and live close to them (about ten minutes on foot), so i see them every day. they had a little family get together and...
A. 6 October 2012: I pity your cousin OP, the poor woman is living in denial. People like her have such tremendous insecurities of their own, that they refuse to acknowledge the truth even if it bites them in the ass.
Let her think what she wants to. You know the... (read in full...)
My ex cheated on me, I forgave him but we are not back together. Now some other woman says I'm an idiot for forgiving him, I don't understand why she thinks this!
Q. Hello, this is a general question to anyone, male or female. My ex boyfriend of a year cheated on me. And someone recently told me that I was an idiot and naive for having forgiven him. The thing is, he and I are not back together, neither do I wan...
A. 5 October 2012: Not many people can forgive those who have hurt them or even identify with someone who does it because it is unthinkable for them to forgive. I must say you have shown exemplary maturity in forgiving your ex and choosing to be civil with him. Your ... (read in full...)
I'm a 27 year old lesbian and I'm a virgin. But what if I don't find that "special someone" I've been waiting for? Should I have sex with my guy friend ?
Q. I consider myself to be a lesbian, but I feel like I'm at a crossroads. I am still a virgin, and I was planning on saving my virginity until I am in a relationship with someone who I feel I am ready to give my virginity too. The thing is, I'm ...
A. 5 October 2012: This would have been a terrible idea even if you weren't a lesbian! What's with the obsession over losing your virginity? Why do you feel that you have a point to prove? What exactly is going to change if you do lose your virginity?
OP there is... (read in full...)
I cheated on my husband with his best friend (out of revenge for my husband cheating on me) and had a baby which my husband thinks is his. Should I tell him the truth?
Q. I had an affair 2 years ago with my husbands best friend who is also married and got pregnant. I had the affair out of revenge for him cheating on me. Not that its an excuse I know it was still wrong. I know its his baby cause my husband had a ...
A. 5 October 2012: You should have thought about your children and family first before cheating on your husband. Two wrongs never make a right OP. And as of now, you are making is even worse by keeping your husband in the dark about the baby. Do you realize how ... (read in full...)
Is it normal to not want sex at all one week? Yet another week Sex is all I can think of?
Q. Is it normal to not want sex? Last week, it was all I could think about. And this week, I have no desire for it. I mean, sometimes people go through a dry spell, where they don't have sex for a long period of time. This is almost the same, I gues...
A. 4 October 2012: Absolutely normal, like the other aunts have said. That's the amazing human body for you! A woman's sexual desire increases dramatically during ovulation because this is when we are most fertile and likely to get pregnant. ... (read in full...)
My younger brother seems to be cyber stalking girls, what do I do?
Q. Hello i dont know what to do with this. i was on my phone yesterday and my brother had used it earlier and gone on his facebook when i got it back it was still logged in and i know that he can be very immature with his friends so i looked at his ...
A. 4 October 2012: You should most definitely tell your mother about him. No matter what anyone says, this is not a "phase". For all you know the girl is scared of him and that's why she hasnt complained to her parents, I mean 12 year olds' are still kids, you cant ... (read in full...)
Is he using me? We never date, just have sex in the woods!
Q. Iv been seeing this guy for 2 months now and we meet up once a week, he seems nice but he never takes me out on a proper date. We only meet up for sex or heavy petting. He doesn't book a room up, we do it in the woods, Im feeling a bit used. He does ...
A. 3 October 2012: Of course he's using you. Sex in the woods? That's really not acceptable. He's cheap and doesn't want to go through any trouble of getting a room and treating you like a lady and I have a feeling that he is also one of those who gets a kick out of ... (read in full...)
This guy calls me a lesbian. He says he does it for a joke. What should I do?
Q. I have this friend who likes to joke around and call me a lesbian. I have asked a numbers of times not to call me a lesbian and he keeps saying, "oh lighten up i am only Joking". I have told him please stop it. he always says "I am Joking". Ye...
A. 3 October 2012: What a jerk! This guy is no friend, he's an idiot who thinks its funny to joke about such things. Block him from Facebook, don't respond to what he says and stop talking to him completely. It doesn't matter what he says to anyone because you know ... (read in full...)
I forgave my boyfriend for cheating on me but he cant seem to forgive himself and is left with a terrible feeling of guilt and self-loathing
Q. My boyfriend of four years cheated on me with a friend of ours about 4 months ago.. He was very drunk when it happened and he told me later that night when we were in bed together.. He is a very good and sweet guy.. I forgave him and said that it ...
A. 1 October 2012: He doesnt want you in his life anymore OP and that is why he is pushing you away and will continue doing so till you break. He probably didnt even expect forgiveness in the first place and wanted you to dump him and that's why he told you about it ... (read in full...)
Is my ex in denial over our break up?
Q. I broke up with my boyfriend last week over his bad temper and slight emotional abuse. Anyways we live together so it's hard to completely cut it off and not see him anymore but he said he would be looking for another place to live. We've been doing ...
A. 30 September 2012: He's probably thinking that its just another fight, a one that's bigger in magnitude than a others but a lovers tiff all the same. He doesnt seem to realize that you are serious about the break up and he's thinking that once he gets back home, you ... (read in full...)
He said if I dislike his pot smoking I can leave
Q. Ok! So me and my fiance have been together almost 9 years. When I met him he did not smoke, we've broke up and got back together in between that time, but here we are together again, and now he smokes weed. I have a serious problem with it. I mean...
A. 30 September 2012: Well he's made himself clear, hasnt he? He has told you point blank that he's not going to change, he's going to continue smoking pot and you can take it or leave it. Also, if its an addiction with him, then he wont bother about the one-day-a week ... (read in full...)
My longterm boyfriend wants to sleep with someone else but doesn't want to cheat. Is a threesome the answer?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 7 years, and we have both only been with each other during our relationship. He has suggested him sleeping with another woman, but not wanting to cheat on me, suggesting a three-some. His ex-wife ...
A. 29 September 2012: Here's a suggestion for you- Throw your boyfriend out right now and never look back.
He just wants a threesome and that's why he's conveniently narrated some crap about his ex wife being into women. If that was so perfect then why is she his ex? ... (read in full...)
Her Mom has agreed to keep it secret. But do I tell my new Gf that I had sex with her Mom in the past?
Q. I have been dating a woman for a few months now and all is going really great. Recently she introduced me to her mother and immediately we recognized each other. A few years earlier we were in a bar and started talking to each other. She is was o...
A. 29 September 2012: I dont know, it doesnt sound right somehow. How long can you keep it a secret? And even if you do, how weird will it be when you'll eventually end up having sex with your girlfriend and then you will have had sex with both mother and daughter? And ... (read in full...)
Does the love for a previous partner fade away in time, or is there always something there?
Q. This question is directed mainly at the guys, but ladies please feel free to answer too :) My current boyfriend is my first for everything, and hopefully he'll be my last! We're a long distance couple, have been together for two years now and I ...
A. 29 September 2012: Why does your boyfriend hang out with his ex when he knows it bothers you? She is not his girlfriend, YOU are. He doesn't have to keep her happy but he should be keeping you happy and secure. I'm not saying that it implies that he cut himself off ... (read in full...)
Is it weird that we talk on the phone so much?
Q. Is it normal that my boyfriend and I talk on the phone constantly when we're not together, busy, or working? It gets to the point his mom comes on the phone in the middle of our conversation and says "Okay it's time to get off the phone you two!" ...
A. 28 September 2012: Its good to be in love but don't make everyone else nauseous around you! You might enjoy talking to him all the time, but it must be irritating for both his parents and yours to see both of you constantly on the phone. Remember, there are other ... (read in full...)
The wedding is planned, I have even ordered my dress but I'm becoming more and more insecure in my relationship because of my boyfriend's actions
Q. Hi everyone, I really need some advice. I am 30 and engaged. We are supposed to be getting married mid next year. My fiancée and I have been together for nine years. However for the past year I have been feeling less and less secure in the relation...
A. 27 September 2012: OP do not marry this guy. Every day with him will be an ordeal and you cant even get out of it once you are married. No one gets married thinking that they will get a divorce but in your case its almost like that....getting married to someone as ... (read in full...)
I found out recently that my ex cheated on me far more than I realized. Should I talk to him?
Q. So I was with this guy for 5 years; we didn't work out for certain reasons. And I've moved on, I'm dating someone else who I deeply care about. Recently i hung out with me and my ex's mutual friend and he confided in me that the entire time me and ...
A. 27 September 2012: Let it go. No good will come from talking with him and don't dirty your hands by punching his face. You're not with the guy any longer and good riddance to bad rubbish. Dont engage in any further conversations regarding him and stay away from the ... (read in full...)
Why is he ignoring my requests to return my things?
Q. Hi there. I had been dating a man for just over a year. We had spoken of getting married ETC. He suffers from depression therefore it was not uncommon for him to be distant sometimes. A few months ago he told me that he would like to leave things ...
A. 26 September 2012: Give him a call and ask him when you can go get your stuff. ... (read in full...)
Should I have another child or pursue a career?
Q. I just turned 36 and my husband is 50 and we have a 6 year’s old beautiful smart son together. Our marriage is not 100% perfect but it is ok. We have some financial issues at this moment but down the road we are in a good shape. My husband has a ...
A. 25 September 2012: I think your husband has a lot of insecurities of his own and he's projecting them on to you. First, he's insecure about the age gap which is now starting to creep up on him because now that he's 50 and you're just 36, he's realizing that its a big ... (read in full...)
How can I let go of this hate toward's my boyfriend's sister?
Q. I've had a pretty rough relationship with my bf's sister for the past two years since I started dating her brother. She even punched me in the face once for no reason, right in front of my boyfriend and he didn't even do anything. She recorded me ...
A. 25 September 2012: Why does your boyfriend not do anything about this? His sister's behavior is not excusable and if he cant stand up for you then that shows you what kind of a person he is. He's not taking care of you and he's not man enough to face reality. Is that ... (read in full...)
In a round about way b/f called me a whore. Am I wrong to be upset?
Q. I basically want to check whether I'm over-reacting or not but this is what happened. I live with my boyfriend and sometimes, when I call him up from outside when he's at home, asking him what he's been doing, he often says he has some girl over and ...
A. 25 September 2012: Sometimes jokes go overboard if you don't know where to draw the line. If you had told him in the first instance itself, that you didnt like his "I'm having sex with another woman" joke, then I think he would have known his limits and not ventured ... (read in full...)
I found out my boss had been looking at porn on my computer
Q. Hi everybody. I have a problem and I am hoping to get some perspective. Today at work I opened my browsing history and was shocked to the core when I saw that my boss, (who was alone in the office on Saturday) had been looking at porn on my ...
A. 25 September 2012: That's a tough one! But you know, there are all kinds of sick people in the world and you never really know what people are thinking and who they are inside.
Obviously you cant leave every company that you work in because there is no dearth o... (read in full...)
My girlfriend warms my heart and she's possibly the coolest girl ever, but there's this lingering "what if" about the other girl who I've had a crush on
Q. I've been with my girlfriend for 2 years. She is pretty amazing. We had a bit of a rocky start, but things have smoothed out and we have a lot of fun together now. My problem is that there is a girl I've known for many years, an old friend at...
A. 24 September 2012: The problem with you is that you have everything that you could want so now you want even more. Stop romanticizing everything so much. Your crush wasn't The One That Got Away. She was a crush and if you cant get her out of your mind then you ... (read in full...)
Am I overreacting to this text from his ex the night before her wedding?
Q. I am getting married in a month to the love of my life. He broke up with this girl 7 years ago and one of the reasons they broke up after a 5-year-realtionship was that she wanted to get married while he didn't. Today my fiancé got home and told me ...
A. 22 September 2012: How does it matter what she feels for your boyfriend? This is the reason why text messages can be so misleading...you just dont know what tone they're supposed to imply. For all you know, what she meant was, "Ha! My new boyfriend is so much better ... (read in full...)
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