| Latest articles: Just Two
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
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31 March 2011: I recently read something nice that I would like to share.... JUST TWO. Donate blood twice a year. Donate your eyes after death. Thank God twice a day. Write two letters a week. Visit two ailing people a month. Say two words of gratitude-"...
A little humility goes a long way
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 March 2011: I’ve been a moderator here on DC for a while and it’s a great forum. It really irritates me though when the OP shows no regard for the aunts who’ve taken time to answer questions. We moderators don’t know you, yet we spend time poring over ever...
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He tried to stick me with the bill on our first meeting ...
Q. I met this guy who I thought really likes me. We exchanged phone numbers, and few days later he offered to meet. So we go for a walk in one of the cool areas of the city, and we walk and walk, walk and walk, talk and around 2 p.m. I felt naut...
A. 8 December 2013: You're my hero OP!! What you did was just GREAT and you literally did something that many of us wont have the guts to do for fear of looking bad...but you didn't care and that was RIGHT! OP I too have been in this situation a couple of times; my ... (read in full...)
Am I really a horrible selfish person? My mother makes me feel like that. Or is the problem my mother's moods?
Q. I'm a 21 yr old female still living at home with my mother, maternal grandmother, younger brother and cat. On good days I can deal with my mother. She jokes around and she's calm. But on bad days she's easily set off, moody, stubborn. Today ...
A. 6 December 2013: You're not a horrible selfish person OP and neither is your mother. You are both fighting your battles; you're fighting to win the love and approval of your mother and she's fighting to keep herself sane after her divorce, which seems to have hit ... (read in full...)
My ex overstepped the mark!
Q. Hi, my ex (we broke up 4 years ago and are now 'friends', albeit distant) came to visit me, to give me a present for my birthday. He said his last train was at 22:30. Then we got something to eat. He was taking forever finishing his glass of wine ...
A. 5 December 2013: I agree with Honeypie, he didn't "forget" the time; he was just dilly-dallying so that he would miss the train and then spend the night at your place and have sex with you.
You don't have to feel sorry for him and you are in no way obligate... (read in full...)
When I jokingly told my B/f that I'm going out on a hot date, he said "the only date you'll get is that homeless guy who sleeps in the bus shelter"! Ouch!!
Q. Hi. When I called my boyfriend last night, after not seeing him nor hearing from him for a few days, he said he's very busy. I jokingly said in that case I'm going out on a hot date. To which he replied: "the only date you'll get is that homeless...
A. 5 December 2013: You should have just told him, "You know what, the homeless guy at the bus shelter would probably be a much better person than you".
As of now, don't take his calls, ignore his messages and let him work on the relationship if he wants to. He m... (read in full...)
He spent a month chasing me and I finally gave in, so shouldn't he be happy?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for three years and we recently broke up. I went no contact with him for a month. During this period he tried calling, texting, social media and even showing up to places or bars that I normally go too. He even left ...
A. 5 December 2013: OP if this guy really loved you and genuinely wanted you back, then would certainly not be playing these games with you. He chased you till you caved and now he's withholding affection and he's also come up with the theory that you need to start ... (read in full...)
Been set up with this guy and wonder about his insecurities
Q. How do I know if I really like this guy? So my friend and her husband set me up with their single guy friend. He lives in another country and is only 45mins on the plane. I don't mind it. We've been talking on the phone and Skype se...
A. 4 December 2013: He sounds terrible OP. Maybe he's a good guy as a friend, because your friends don't know him beyond that but I think he'll make a terrible boyfriend. I'll share my own experience with you on this one.
My cousin was trying to set me up with thi... (read in full...)
The safe option vs. the one you really want?
Q. Hi, I wonder if any girl has had this situation before? My female best friend I've known for a long, long time. We talk a lot, especially relationships. She asks my opinions on blokes she dates and vice versa. She met a guy two years ago ...
A. 4 December 2013: I would never settle for a "safe" option. Does that make me foolish? I don't know. I have always chosen to listen to my heart and sure, while I've made mistakes, I have NO regrets. Because today, if I'm with the man I truly love, its because I chose ... (read in full...)
Does getting back into a relationship with an ex ever work out?
Q. Hey I have a question. Does getting back into a relationship with an ex ever really work out? I was with a girl for two years and we have been broken up for a year now. I took it really hard when her and I broke up. I have had 2 short term relat...
A. 4 December 2013: So here's the deal. She cheated on you and chose to be with the other guy. This in itself is an insult to you. Then when things didn't work out with him, she comes crying back because she knows that you are always available for her and will take her ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend lied about meeting his ex and now I don't trust him
Q. How can I sort my own trust issues out? I need help before it ruins my relationship. Sorry this is very long! Bit of background: I have had 3 serious relationships. All 3 of my ex partners have cheated on me in varying degrees - one had a coup...
A. 2 December 2013: All I can say is that, he probably didn't know how to say 'no' to her and while he really IS in love with you, he went along with the ego boost that he was getting from his ex.
He lied to you because he knew you would hit the roof if you knew he ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend lied about meeting his ex and now I don't trust him
Q. How can I sort my own trust issues out? I need help before it ruins my relationship. Sorry this is very long! Bit of background: I have had 3 serious relationships. All 3 of my ex partners have cheated on me in varying degrees - one had a coup...
A. 2 December 2013: Ultimately it all comes down to trust. Can you trust him when he says he'll never see this woman again? What does your gut instinct tell you?
What bothers me here is that he lied to you about meeting her. Did he think you wouldn't find out? He ... (read in full...)
I'm 29. How can I have a grandfather in my life if my own have died? Am I asking too much? Or is there another way to fill this void?
Q. Hey guys, This is a question about a family relationship. I'm new to this site but I don't imagine it's ever been asked before. I know it sounds kinda crazy, but I need advice about this desire of mine. Is there any way to make my wish come tru...
A. 2 December 2013: It's not creepy at all OP!! I was extremely close to my grandpa; he meant everything to me and I was his life. I was even closer to him than with my mom because when I was small and my parents would go to work, he was the one who bathed me and fed ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend had a secret porn blog and we barely have sex anymore. Should I leave him?
Q. Okay so my boyfriend and I have been dating for 10 months. We've been fighting a lot lately. I found out he had a porn blog on tumblr and i got upset I made him chose me or delete it. He deleted it but he's been such an ass. Hes had an attitude...
A. 1 December 2013: I didn't know what a porn blog was either so I looked it up and EWWWW!!! I wish I'd never seen it now! If he "enjoyed" the porn blog and that was an expression of his sexuality, then that's entirely his choice but if I were in your place, it would ... (read in full...)
Should I forgive him? Can we work through this or do I write off the last five years?
Q. Hey guys I really need some advice. So here goes ... I have been together with my boyfriend *dave ( not his real name) for about 5 and years and a half. We live together, we have a dog we have joint bank account I mean everything we are basically ...
A. 1 December 2013: Basically his point of view is that he just cant over the fact that you slept with someone else while you were broken up with him. I think that broke his entire trust in you, that you could even think about another guy in that way, when he had eyes ... (read in full...)
Is he exaggerating or could a 15 year old really mean it?
Q. How serious is a fifteen year old boy when he says he would marry you in a heartbeat and that he wants to spend the rest of his life with you? We are really close friends so he knows what I am truly like and all my flaws and I don't know whether he ...
A. 30 November 2013: He means it..for now! When you're 15 and in love, you think the whole world is for you. Nothing and no one can ever take it away from you and that you will get married and live happily ever after.
I hate to be cynical, but life isn't that simple. ... (read in full...)
Did the text mean that he was looking to have sex?
Q. So this guy was flirting with me. We were texting and talking about the movie I just watched. Then he said "If you're free we can do something maybe... ;)" Did he mean sex? And how should I react to it? This msg just kinda popped out of nowhere. ...
A. 29 November 2013: Maybe not sex, but he was suggesting making out for sure. You said were flirting with each other and the wink was a dead giveaway. ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is too close to his secretary!
Q. My boyfriend has a really lovely secretary who he thinks a lot of. There are eight guys working in the office. I have met her a few times and she is a lovely warm friendly woman happily married with children. She is 35 and my boyfriend is 38. He t...
A. 29 November 2013: Maybe he genuinely likes her just as a colleague because you've said it yourself that she is a lovely warm friendly woman. This is your own description of her, despite the fact that you don't like your boyfriend's proximity to her, which means she ... (read in full...)
I cursed her out, we broke up, I want her back, but she's moved on.
Q. I never felt this bad in my life. This is the first time I ever truly loved a girl and the first time I've been genuinely heartbroken. We broke up because I felt she was being cold to me, plus I had no job and I guess the sex wasn't great and I ...
A. 28 November 2013: She's moved on; you have to, too.
Don't be the creepy ex who shows up unannounced at her door, just leave her alone because it's over. I don't know why she's still contacting you and stringing you along and giving you hope...maybe she's confused... (read in full...)
Trying to end the affair but he won't take no for an answer
Q. It's been 4 yrs since I have been friends with a married man. We are not sexually active but we like each other a lot. What keeps me from having sex is the fact he is married and 36 yrs older than me. It bothers me that I care about him. It even ...
A. 28 November 2013: It's all in your hands. If you feel strongly that it should end, then put your foot down firmly and show him the door. Don't reply to his texts, don't agree to meet him, cut him out of your life completely. Make it clear that you've taken a decision ... (read in full...)
I think my boyfriend of 7 months still has feelings for his ex girlfriend even though he says he doesn't.
Q. Hi everyone I think my boyfriend of 7 months still has feelings for his ex girlfriend even though he says he doesn't. They broke up about a year and a half ago. I feel this way because he is still friends with her even though she treated him ...
A. 28 November 2013: You are right OP, he still has feelings for her. The fact that he says he loves her as a person is enough to justify this, and its strange that he says that even though she treated him like trash. He's clinging on to her when she's clearly moved on. ... (read in full...)
What is your partner like when angry?
Q. I've been in a relationship for over a year and a half now and I'm curious about everyones experience with how your partner or ex partners reacted when angry. for whatever reason. deserved or not. Here are a few situations I often find myself in. ...
A. 27 November 2013: My boyfriend rarely ever gets angry but the one time he really got mad at me, he kicked something so hard, I couldn't believe it was him! But I admit, I had really pushed his buttons and I was being a grade A you-know-what.
Otherwise, I'm the one ... (read in full...)
So scared of him getting bored of me
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been together for 6 months. I've been in several relationships before but I am his first girlfriend, his first kiss, and he says I'm the first and only girl he's ever loved. Even though I've had many boyfriends before, ...
A. 27 November 2013: Why would he get bored with you? Get these unfounded fears out of your head and just enjoy your relationship with what sounds like a wonderful guy!
Don't ruin what you have, don't think so much...just go with the flow. Texting, not texting,... (read in full...)
Problems with neighbour - how would you handle this?
Q. Hello. I would like to know how you would handle this situation. I live above a young male who is intolerant of his neighbours making any sounds. Whenever we do make sounds, he bangs the walls. I get the most of it though, since I live right above...
A. 27 November 2013: He sounds like a real menace. Why don't you try talking to him and explaining that you find his behavior disturbing? He needs to be put in place and he needs to know that he cant order and shove people around all the time. He is the one making the ... (read in full...)
How can I get someone to return my things without making a scene?
Q. I lent a friend (Nick) a DVD box set about 18 months ago. I then broke up with my boyfriend (it was awful) and I needed to go down the no contact route. This meant that I didn't see Nick nearly as much anymore because I was no longer going to the ...
A. 27 November 2013: By all means just GO to his house whenever you think he'll be home, preferably in the morning, and get them back! You don't need to justify anything to him, they're yours and you need them and if he had even in iota of decency, he would have given ... (read in full...)
Can a woman orgasm too hard?
Q. Can a woman orgasm too hard? I really want to push my girlfriend to the limit but I don't want to hurt her, if I kept stimulating her past her usual limit will it give her more pleasure (more orgasms) or is there only so far a woman can go? ...
A. 27 November 2013: If she says that she's reached her limit, then she probably has. Dont make this a contest OP, you dont have to push yourself and her to attain better results each time you have a go at it!! An orgasm is a state of the mind and for me personally, has ... (read in full...)
We know the relationship will end, so why would he take some of what time we have left for travel?
Q. My boyfriend is here as an exchange student. From the beginning, he made sure, that what he can certainly give is this one semester. After that, he has no idea what will happen. There was a chance he might stay here for internship, he might go to ...
A. 26 November 2013: There was an expiry date on this relationship from Day 1. When something like that happens and you know that doom is inevitable, somewhere down the line you start accepting that its already dead, even though its still got a few breaths left.
... (read in full...)
I'm pregnant with his child. Should I tell his girlfriend?
Q. just over 4 years ago I had an affair with a man who was married, it was very brief and it only lasted a few months. I then moved on and met a man who I eventually married and we had a son together bet we split up a year and a half ago. A few mont...
A. 26 November 2013: How is telling her going to help you? Do you think she'll dump him and he'll come running back to you and you'll be one big happy family? If he's cheated on his girlfriend without any qualms, either she already knows or will very shortly. There's ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend tells his best female friend that she is pretty and they talk about graphic sex
Q. I have been dating my boyfriend for around six months now and we are very happy. He has a female best friend that he is very close to and says how much he loves her. He openly admits they talk about sex quite grafically and tell eachother when they ...
A. 26 November 2013: If a guy tells you that he has a pretty female friend whom he loves, is very close to, discusses graphic sex with and gets horny, then how exactly are YOU his girlfriend? And if you are, then what kind of a strange relationship is it that he shares ... (read in full...)
Am I about to be used in revenge sex with a longtime friend?
Q. This is a long and complex story of infidelity and revenge sex. So here's the short version. My friend had been cheating on his wife unknown to me. I've know them both since childhood. I kept our friendship at a respectful distance because I could ...
A. 25 November 2013: And I just wanted to add that this woman was apparently OK with being treated like shit by her husband because you've written that he used to verbally, mentally and physically abuse her even before they got married. She got into the marriage knowing ... (read in full...)
Am I about to be used in revenge sex with a longtime friend?
Q. This is a long and complex story of infidelity and revenge sex. So here's the short version. My friend had been cheating on his wife unknown to me. I've know them both since childhood. I kept our friendship at a respectful distance because I could ...
A. 25 November 2013: Stay out of the mess...just say no. Wait till you meet someone single whom you can start a normal, healthy relationship with, don't ever get into something this complicated.
If its revenge sex, she'll obviously want to tell her husband all abou... (read in full...)
Do you think is okay to sacrifice freedom in order to make your hurt partner happy?
Q. Ive been with my boyfriend for 3 years, and I have to admit I was not the perfect girlfriend. Although he has done things that have hurt me deeply, I know I have been worse to him. This Thursday I made a mistake and he left the relationship, I ...
A. 25 November 2013: These demands are completely unreasonable and they just go how show how horribly insecure your boyfriend is. If you stay with him, he will just stifle you more and more to the point where you either end up being like a slave who has absolutely no ... (read in full...)
How can I get my parents to allow me to close the door to my room when my boyfriend comes visiting? We need our privacy!!
Q. Hi all, I have been with my bf for a few months and recently I invited my bf to meet my parents. What irks me is that I am not allowed to close the door when I am alone with him in my room. We don't always on the airconditioner but sometimes we do. ...
A. 24 November 2013: As long as you live with your parents, you have to do what they say out of respect for them. Most parents wouldn't be too comfortable to have their teenage daughter in her room with her boyfriend and with the door closed and I don't think they're ... (read in full...)
I thought my Co-worker was just a good friend. So why has he been asking me explicit sexual questions?
Q. I've thought this guy at my work and I were just friends. We talk a lot, about random stuff usually. Yesterday we were texting and he was asking me when I'm going to have kids and everything. I said I don't know. Anyway so we were texting more and...
A. 24 November 2013: Because he's a pervert who doesn't know his limits. Just because you hang out with him and are friendly with him doesn't give him any right to ask you the kind of questions that he has and you should have ideally said, "sorry but what business is it ... (read in full...)
Don't want to lose her as a friend but she has inappropriate feelings for me
Q. Dear friends, I have a female friend at workplace (younger and single). These days I felt she has an interest to me thou she know I am married and have 2 kids. I have shown her my family photo too. As things proceeded I understood things are serio...
A. 24 November 2013: You cant do anything; you wanted her to back off and she did. Let her have her own space and grieve if she wants. You cant have her as a friend till she wants to be your friend, till then, there's nothing you can do... (read in full...)
Do you think is okay to sacrifice freedom in order to make your hurt partner happy?
Q. Ive been with my boyfriend for 3 years, and I have to admit I was not the perfect girlfriend. Although he has done things that have hurt me deeply, I know I have been worse to him. This Thursday I made a mistake and he left the relationship, I ...
A. 24 November 2013: What kind of freedom are we talking about here? What is it that you do that irks him so much?... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is smothering me, while I support him! How can we get back the relationship we used to have?
Q. I've been in a relationship with my partner for little over a year. Prior to our relationship we were very close friends for 5 years. Due to us being friends for so long, we knew each other incredibly well. My partner had a big circle of friends and ...
A. 23 November 2013: I really like what the female anonymous poster before me has said. He's not going to change because he knows he's getting all the fun and perks for free! This is a dream scenario for him, why on earth would he change that? He's got a wife, a maid, ... (read in full...)
Why can't I seem to he over my first gf?
Q. I was in a relationship with who I was convinced was "The One". We were together for 6 months and 8 days. It was the happiest I've ever been. I loved her more than life itself. She always called me on my break. And we always talked. I didn't smother ...
A. 23 November 2013: You bought her a $4000 engagement and you're 21? How could you even afford that?
Life is rarely ever fair OP. Your girlfriend might have meant the world to you but sadly you didn't mean the same to her. Its not because you did anything wrong bu... (read in full...)
Is it normal for men to feel insecure in regards to sex toys?
Q. Hi all! I had posted previously about me leaving an abusive relationship. He was very manipulative and plain awful to me. My ex couldnt make me orgasm,so we got a toy to try and help myself, and when he caught me using it he would flip on me...
A. 23 November 2013: Wow OP, this guy is amazing!! Good for you, you are lucky to have him!
OP secure and sensible guys will not get threatened by anything, least of all a sex toy! You don't have to feel bad about anything because he's the one who suggested that you... (read in full...)
Its great that he's a good dad, but I want to feel important too!!
Q. My boyfriend of 2 years has a 2 year old daughter. I have changed myself to accept this situation and moved past it. But now, when he invites me to hang out with them, i usually don't bc i don't like how it makes me feel around them. And i don't ...
A. 22 November 2013: He sees his 2 year old daughter for just ONE day of the week and you have him for 6 days; if you cant spare a father and daughter even one single day without feeling jealous, then you need to grow up because this relationship is not for you.... (read in full...)
What can I do really quickly to improve my skin? I am attending a wedding and I have too many pimples and other issues.
Q. Hi friends. My problem may sound really silly but I really need some help please. I have a marriage ceremony to attend day after tomorrow and I have soooo many pimples on my forehead. I understand that having pimples is normal but it’s too much and...
A. 22 November 2013: Both the other aunts have given you great advice and the only thing I can add is, why don't you wear a traditional Indian sari instead of what you're planning to wear? It looks sexy, it covers you up in all the right places and its elegant. You can ... (read in full...)
Three days ago I suffered a miscarriage. Do I tell my ex bf/good friend I miscarried his baby?
Q. My ex boyfriend and I are 11 years a part, Im 18. We dated secretly to avoid the scandel as we knew he was moving away in december. Last week he ended it early and we are still on really good terms. Its tricky when we both are attracted to eac...
A. 22 November 2013: I don't know why you feel the need to even hide this fact from him in the first place! There's nothing that either of you can do about it now, you're not in a relationship anymore, you claim to be good friends...then why hide it from him? If you ... (read in full...)
I recently found a bunch on naked pictures of my wife's privates on her phone!
Q. Hello everyone, i need your help...i recently found a bunch on naked pictures of my wifes privates on her phone. we have been married for 9 years and she has never done anything like this. i checked the dates on the pics and they have been take...
A. 20 November 2013: She didn't do it just because "she wanted to", that's rubbish. I wouldn't jump to the conclusion and say that she's cheated/cheating on you but maybe she's going through a mid-life crisis and feels the need to re-affirm that she's young and sexy. I ... (read in full...)
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