A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 7 years, and we have both only been with each other during our relationship. He has suggested him sleeping with another woman, but not wanting to cheat on me, suggesting a three-some. His ex-wife was into girls and would bring girls home all the time, so it was "normal" to him. I'm not sure how I feel about this. I've thought about being with a woman, just to see if I would like it, but I'm not sure if I could see him with another woman. I really don't know what to do. Any suggestions would be helpful.
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ex-wife, his ex, threesome Reply to this Question
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female
reader, person12345 +, writes (29 September 2012):
 His EX-wife and him used to do these things. Ex being the key word here.
Your boyfriend is saying he wants to cheat on you and wants your OK to do it. If you're not willing to give it, then don't. Like someone else says, I highly doubt he'd be OK with you sleeping with another man.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (29 September 2012):
 If this is something you aren't DYING to try, it IS cheating. It's about HIM fulfilling HIS needs and he just wants you to not be able to be mad, feel bad afterwards.
Just because this was "normal" in his marriage doesn't mean you have the same values as his ex-wife.
If you wanted to have sex with another man, that would be OK with him too? Somehow I kind of doubt that.
Sorry, that would be a no-no for me. If he wanted to sleep with other women he could just head out the door and keep walking.
You have to figure out if THIS is a deal-breaker or not. And then stand your ground.
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A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (29 September 2012):
 Here's a suggestion for you- Throw your boyfriend out right now and never look back.
He just wants a threesome and that's why he's conveniently narrated some crap about his ex wife being into women. If that was so perfect then why is she his ex? Its utter nonsense, this guy is not for you and unless you are ABSOLUTELY sure of this, never, ever get into it. Of course you're not, hence the question, so the only option that you have and which is the best one, is to just kick the guy out. And he has the cheek to say that he doesn't want to cheat on you but would rather have a threesome!! Ya, right, because THAT makes him a saint!
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (29 September 2012):
I don't think this is going to work out for you. Unless you are 100% sure that you want to do this, it's inevitable that you will get hurt. And, from your post, it's pretty clear that you don't really want to do it. I would also seriously question your boyfriend's commitment as well. Some people aren't entirely suited to monogamy, and it's says a lot that he's been able to do this before.
This will have the power to entirely break your heart if you go ahead and you're not sure that you want to do it. Remember, you will be watching your boyfriend have sex with another woman in front of you, and I'm not sure that you'll really like that at all.
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A
female
reader, nat1972  +, writes (29 September 2012):
 You're shocked at his request. Wow. I think I would be too. After 7 years and he wants to do have sex with another woman. If it was me I would say NO!!! What has the relationship been like over the last 7 years and you want to sleep with someone else. I don't think so. It would hurt your relationship. To ask you to even think about it is saying danger zone. But that's just my persepctive. You have to go what's in your heart. Would you feel comfortable afterwards knowing that he has had sex with another woman/or you. It would feel like cheating. The trust you have built over 7 years together is a fantastic bond and to live a fantasy hmmmmm I can only see problems in the future here. My advice is don't do it. Don't ruin a wonderful bond you have with each other. And the trust you have for each other. Don't be persuaded if you don't want it.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2012): I agree with aunt bim bim once again. He is using his past as excuse to get what he WANTS, not what you want, just HIS... Threesomes are never normal, their just ways for greedy people to get what they want.. Ok for individuals not in relationships they might work, but once feelings are involved all that quickly evaporates when you see the love of your life, having nookie with someone else, saying all those things he says to you, touching her, caressing her... You really itching you can handle that..Tell him No and say if its something you wanta do it will not be with me or in this relationship, you make your bed you'll be lying on it without me..Be firm, this will only get worse if you say Yes..
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2012): Absoloutely no way in hell!! He basicallybis trying to get your permission to cheat on you. I see it this way, if you have been together so long, why now does he want to have a threesome? I would wonder if he already cheated.....plus, have you thought about why is ex-wife, who supposedky did this on a regular basis, is now an ex?? That is in no way 'normal' by any meabs. kick his ass to the curb and find a REAL man who loves and respects you because this loser obviously doesnt.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (29 September 2012):
 If all suggestions are wwelcome here's mine: kick his sorry two timing arse to the kerb! He wants to have sex with another girl but doesn't want to cheat ... oh puleeze, he just wants to have his cake and eat it too, and it seems he has just about convinced you to indulge in a three some .... listen to your inner voice, it is telling you no no no no, this is not for you, reqardless how 'normal' it is or not for him and his EX wife, have you ever wondered why she is his EX?
Tell him what your little inner voice is telling you, NO!
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