| Latest articles: Just Two
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
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31 March 2011: I recently read something nice that I would like to share.... JUST TWO. Donate blood twice a year. Donate your eyes after death. Thank God twice a day. Write two letters a week. Visit two ailing people a month. Say two words of gratitude-"...
A little humility goes a long way
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 March 2011: I’ve been a moderator here on DC for a while and it’s a great forum. It really irritates me though when the OP shows no regard for the aunts who’ve taken time to answer questions. We moderators don’t know you, yet we spend time poring over ever...
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I recently found a bunch on naked pictures of my wife's privates on her phone!
Q. Hello everyone, i need your help...i recently found a bunch on naked pictures of my wifes privates on her phone. we have been married for 9 years and she has never done anything like this. i checked the dates on the pics and they have been take...
A. 20 November 2013: She didn't do it just because "she wanted to", that's rubbish. I wouldn't jump to the conclusion and say that she's cheated/cheating on you but maybe she's going through a mid-life crisis and feels the need to re-affirm that she's young and sexy. I ... (read in full...)
Were you ugly as a teen then become a good looking adult?
Q. In high school were you ugly and then get good looking when you became an adult? I was a cute kid/preteen until I hit the age of 15. At 15 I got a weird facial structure, acne, dry frizzy hair, and am SO socially awkward. I'm 19 and still have all ...
A. 20 November 2013: What exactly is the problem OP? The acne can be treated, have you visited the doctor? Dry frizzy hair needs good conditioning and as for the social awkwardness, you just have to help yourself there. Go out, meet new people, make friends, adopt a pet ... (read in full...)
Were you ugly as a teen then become a good looking adult?
Q. In high school were you ugly and then get good looking when you became an adult? I was a cute kid/preteen until I hit the age of 15. At 15 I got a weird facial structure, acne, dry frizzy hair, and am SO socially awkward. I'm 19 and still have all ...
A. 20 November 2013: Well that too OP. People do change in the way they look from high school to their late 20s'. Talking purely about looks that changed, I would say that its absolutely possible to transform. Puberty does sometimes play nasty tricks on you but rest ... (read in full...)
Were you ugly as a teen then become a good looking adult?
Q. In high school were you ugly and then get good looking when you became an adult? I was a cute kid/preteen until I hit the age of 15. At 15 I got a weird facial structure, acne, dry frizzy hair, and am SO socially awkward. I'm 19 and still have all ...
A. 20 November 2013: I wouldn't really say ugly because I don't like that word, but my younger brother was certainly overweight. So much so that he could balance a plate on his tummy!! He too was immensely socially awkward and avoided any social event that he could. ... (read in full...)
He said he was single, but now I find out about his terminal girlfriend
Q. I've just found out that this guy I have been getting to know has a girlfriend and that she is terminally ill. I confronted him and he says he just needs someone to support him through this time. I feel sick to my stomach because we have kissed a ...
A. 19 November 2013: Run for the hills. This is the worst kind of cheater, not that really any category that you can put these ass***** into, but still!! He's cheating on his terminally ill girlfriend with you, tomorrow he'll cheat on you with someone else and the cycle ... (read in full...)
Dealing with his pain
Q. I don't know how to feel right now. My boyfriend and I broke up Friday night and it was a pretty bad fight for something really stupid. It always happens. We fight and make up. We were together for a little over a year and a half, and we were pret...
A. 12 November 2013: He's a big boy, he can take care of himself. As for you, stand your ground, get help for your drinking problem and don't go looking for another dysfunctional relationship.
Change your number and cut this guy out of your life for good.
You hit... (read in full...)
Due to my past experience with acne, I am worried that my boyfriend is trying to tell me something. What do you all think?
Q. I am someone who went through a severe bout of acne when I was younger. I have been left with scars (no acne now) and have been seeing a dermatologist regularly to get filler and laser to deal with it. Its better, but I do still have scars. Anyh...
A. 9 November 2013: Why cant you just ask him? What kind of a relationship is it anyway if you cant even ask him something as simple as this?
"Alec, the other day when you mentioned that you couldn't be with a girl who was obese or had acne, did you by any chance m... (read in full...)
I explain to him he's jealous and clingy but hes not getting it!!
Q. I met this guy April 4.and we have been talking since then. At first he was really cool, sweet, loveable but now its like I love him but hes too much He crys all the time over small things And when We argue and someone apologizes he continue...
A. 9 November 2013: In my experience, these things don't get better, they just get worse. There is literally nothing you can do to help him unless he decides to help himself. He's too much work OP. Do you really want this drama in your life? Is it worth it?... (read in full...)
Which man do I choose? Passion or security?
Q. Hello! I have to make the biggest decision of my life and I need some advice! I love two very different guys that have different things to offer and I don’t know who to choose. With Guy # 1 I will be able to stay home with my future kids and be the ...
A. 9 November 2013: Choose the first one if you want an easy life. Most people would do that and may even think its "wise", wise of course being very subjective. You wont have to work for a living, you'll have the 1930s' life of bringing up the kids while the man goes ... (read in full...)
Why is it taking me so long to get over someone who wasn't that great of a boyfriend in the first place?
Q. I'm having a really hard time moving on from my ex-boyfriend but I don't think it's normal or healthy because it's been a year and a half since he broke up with me. We dated for 2 years while he was in the military. He wanted me to move to a dif...
A. 9 November 2013: Because you don't want to move on. Its as simple as that. You are stubbornly romanticizing a broken, unhealthy, unhappy relationship and you refuse to let go of it even though you know the guy was a jerk. You were in a relationship that was wrong ... (read in full...)
I'm having trouble accepting her story about this "friend"
Q. Hi. I have a situation where I need an objective opinion before I act with too much haste and ruin everything. I have been with my fiancée for a little over two years now and I thought everything was going great up until about a week ago. S...
A. 4 November 2013: 2nd father? Seriously? From a guy she never talks to, to being a 2nd father, who by the way, has never even bothered to initiate any contact with his "daughter's" fiance. Wow!! If there ever was an episode of cheating and bad lies, this is it, OP. ... (read in full...)
If he is who he says he is then I'm definitely interested
Q. I'm a smart, successful, attractive woman in my 30s, and, even though I have very progressive, healthy attitudes towards dating and sex, I can't help but feel a bit like an idiot. I went out with a man I met online last weekend who was new to the ...
A. 24 October 2013: You most definitely should not have had sex so early on...but I'm not telling you something you don't already know.
What you really don't know in fact, is much about this guy, except that he's a charming person whom you met online, who loves ha... (read in full...)
Confused by my FWB
Q. So guys I need your opinion on something I previously gotten into this friends with benefits relationship and I'm Soo confused.. He comes down every other weekend and we have a great time and then when we talk he always says we need to stop Bc he's ...
A. 23 October 2013: He cant make up his mind because he's getting sex from you! That's not rocket science! He always has the "talk" after the sex, when he's not thinking with his penis but then again when his needs well up, he's back with you again.
You're just was... (read in full...)
Would a guy ever leave a woman if he really loved her?
Q. My ex boyfriend broke up with me and said.. "I'll always love you..You were an amazing girlfriend" What does this mean?? Would a guy ever leave a woman if he really loved her?...
A. 21 October 2013: To soften the blow. Its one of the clichés...the "its not you, its me" types. Its a way to make a dignified exit, as the female anon poster said. Lets keep it clean, you were amazing, no hard feelings.
... (read in full...)
Dodged a bullet, but still can't get her out of my mind
Q. I am 21, so it feels ignorant to even be stressing this situation, but I have for an entire year now, and ALL I want to do is let go. I dated a girl that was my entire world for about 10 months, and she has a child. The child became very atta...
A. 21 October 2013: I'm sorry but do you honestly have NO self worth? You've been treated like shit by this woman over and over again, you know she's someone who just flits in and out of relationships and I can bet she cant even spell and write a sentence that is ... (read in full...)
I'm hurting so bad, I'm losing him. Please help!!
Q. I really need some advice. I feel like I'm dying a slow painful death. I've been with my bf for 3 years. We're the same age. We aren't living together but spent our weekends/a couple days a week together. We've been through, and overcome, a lot in ...
A. 20 October 2013: Get a hold of yourself OP...things are never as bad as they seem. You need to talk to your boyfriend about this and trust me, communication is the key in every relationship. You should be able to talk and get your point across the table without ... (read in full...)
Embarrassed at the end of our first date
Q. I went on a first date with a guy yesterday we've known each other for a week, and I can tell he likes me but sometimes he's really unpredictable, well at the end of the date he kissed me on my lips like a little peck on the lips I thought he was ...
A. 20 October 2013: Laugh it off! That's what you should do in these situations. Just say, "oh boy are we going to talk about this one for a while!"
Dont worry, its a cute and harmless thing...hope you enjoyed the date though :)... (read in full...)
I think that fact that I want to stray is telling me something about my current relationship
Q. I'm in a bit of a dilemma here and not sure what to do? I've been with my girlfriend for nearly 2 years now and I thought that everything was great. But, recently my ex girlfriend got in touch with me. Me and my ex dated nearly 6 years ago for ...
A. 18 October 2013: What your're doing is downright disgusting. Stop blaming your relationship for your actions and learn to take some responsibility. The hot, kinky ex turns you on more than your girlfriend and you want to cheat on your girlfriend with her. Do what ... (read in full...)
I feel like she's trying to come between us
Q. My boyfriend and I are in a long distance relationship (2hrs drive away) not that far but I can't see him as much as I wanted. I am pretty certain that one of his female colleague whom I also know, likes him. We use to work together, even when I was ...
A. 18 October 2013: Maybe you're blowing this whole thing out of proportion and it isn't as bad as it seems. Maybe they're only just friends and even if she likes your boyfriend, he wont ever let that come between his relationship with you.
That being said, your boy... (read in full...)
Was this some sort of revenge for breaking up?
Q. Yesterday an ex-lover sent me a text message and I simply replied. Then he called me and we began to have a conversation about our past. My ex finally gave me a chance to explain my side of the story about how we ended up going our separate ways. I ...
A. 18 October 2013: Shame on him for cheating on his girlfriend. And you should have known better than to have sex with an ex. If you've broken up with him, stay strong and stick to your decision. Otherwise, you'll just end up being an FWB and we all know how that ... (read in full...)
Will he become a stalker? Should I be worried?
Q. Hello all, I am going through some changes with a man and was hoping to get some good advice. I don’t know if I should be concerned or what??? I met him at work. We don’t work in the same department but our departments cross every now and then. In...
A. 18 October 2013: Gary is CRAZY. There's no two ways about it. He probably always was but was just able to mask it for long enough but he's stark, raving bonkers and you need to get out of whatever it is that you have with him.
Tell him that you are both married ... (read in full...)
Should I have an affair with my married colleague?
Q. I recently ended up kissing a women I work with after a night out. It shouldn't be a problem, only she is married. We have always had great chemistry and she has made no secret of her liking me--I guess you could say she is a cougar or whatever. She ...
A. 16 October 2013: You can if you want but why do something like this? She's bored in her marriage and is looking to cheat and if not you, it will be someone else. But you shouldn't be the guy that's eventually going to be blamed for breaking the marriage up. Plus as ... (read in full...)
He says he has "proof" even when he doesn't. Need help, fast!!
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years. We're in our early-mid 30's. Every once in awhile he will accuse me of cheating and claiming he has "proof" when I know he doesn't. This morning at 7am he text me and asked me who the hell I was texting. I ...
A. 15 October 2013: He doesn't sound normal. Make sure he doesn't have your password and if he does, then change it as soon as you can. If he's crazy then he can send emails to himself from your account and make it look like you cheated just so that you "confess". He's ... (read in full...)
Him keeping his ex as a friend bothers me!
Q. How can I stop worrying and stop being upset about my boyfriend's friendship with his ex girlfriend? Even though they had a bad break up and things got pretty ugly with them (she cheated on him a lot and they fought a lot) they both decided to ...
A. 12 October 2013: I'm not in favour of being friends with ex'es. I wish I could be like one of those people who have no qualms being friends with their ex...even though I still don't know how on earth that's possible. If things ended on a bad note and you've both ... (read in full...)
I live in fear and sadness that our relationship will fall apart because of lack of communication
Q. My boyfriend of One year and a half has recently lost his cousin. They were so close together. My boyfriend is obviously taking his cousin's passing extremely hard since they were close and he really admired him. Few minutes before the news that his...
A. 9 October 2013: OP you are not responsible for your boyfriend and you cannot help him if he doesn't want to help himself. Yes, I know it is difficult to deal with death, I lost my 10 year old dalmatian a few days ago and its been traumatic, to say the very least. ... (read in full...)
Deletes all his texts from girls. Is he hiding something or am I crossing the line?
Q. My boyfriend deletes all the texts from other girls. Well he knows that I am jealous and I have confronted him for flirting with his colleague and knows that I sometimes go through his phone. (Please don't judge). Now he deletes all the texts with ...
A. 8 October 2013: Why do you not trust him? Has he given you any reasons for doubting him? Maybe he's just friendly with his colleague and you see that as flirting, when it might not really be the case? Look, unless he's cheated on you in the past, lied about talking ... (read in full...)
My g/f played strip poker till everyone was naked but says nothing happened?
Q. My girlfriend went away for the weekend to visit some friends. She told me that she had some drinks and ended up playing strip poker with 2 other guys and a girl. She told me nothing happened. just played until everyone was fully naked. What should ...
A. 7 October 2013: If nothing had to happen then why did they all get naked? And why did she choose to partake in a game that involved nudity when she knew she had a boyfriend back home? This behavior is NOT acceptable in a committed relationship. ... (read in full...)
I have a good boyfriend now but my ex lover contacted me again and I am confused.
Q. Hi there I am in a pickle at the moment. I am currently with a man whom I love dearly and have pictured having kids with him and also marriage he's a gem! Have had a tough relationship but we've lulled through a lot together, he also has autistic ...
A. 7 October 2013: Why are you trying to be friends with an abusive ex? You're voluntarily inviting misery!!
Be happy with what you have and if you're not, then look for something that you think is better for you, not worse!
Tell the ex that you want nothing mor... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend's behavior a reflection of his love for me or does it speak more about his impulsiveness or lack of responsibility?
Q. I want to tell you the story of my relationship/love affair and am hoping that someone could give me their thoughts on the situation. I have been in a long distance relationship with a man for about 3 months. Our relationship started off as s...
A. 6 October 2013: Maybe he does really have feelings for you but there are red flags here. For starters, he cheated on his girlfriend of 8 years to be with you and that, in my book, is not excusable. If you're not happy in a relationship, have the guts and the ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend believes a threesome will bring us closer but I've heard horror stories about them
Q. I have been dating my boyfriend for the past year and recently he's asked me about having a threesome. I'm secure with myself and my sexuality. I'm also confident in our relationship. I've just heard alot of horror stories that follow a threesome ...
A. 12 September 2013: A threesome will bring you closer? So going by his logic, monogamy will actually make you drift apart! If you think this reasoning is right for you, then go for it by all means.
... (read in full...)
Short men: Have you ever found a tall woman attractive? Would you approach her?
Q. This may come off as a strange and unusual situation, so bear with me here. I've heard that many men who are under 6 feet tall feel inadequate about being short and overlooked by women for their tall counterparts. Then there's me. I'm a 6'2" w...
A. 28 August 2013: I'll take this one.
I'm reasonably tall too, I'm around 5'8''. My boyfriend on the other hand is around 5'5" and is quite skinny, whereas I am full figured. And when I wear heels,I look way taller than him.
I've asked him this question a few t... (read in full...)
To apologise for the way I treated her I helped pay for their wedding, but I realize that I love her
Q. This is long and I apologize. But I put myself into this ordeal and I want to know how to get out. I met this great woman when we were 16. We dated the summer after sophomore year (10th grade) but I regret to say that I blew her off most of the ...
A. 16 August 2013: I feel bad for you OP, it must be terrible to be in your situation but you brought it upon yourself...in many different ways. You let her go many times when you shouldn't have and to make up for it you tried to give them cash...when you shouldn't ... (read in full...)
How can I trust him when he was having webcam sex with his ex for months?
Q. Hi, I was wondering if anyone had any advice on how to handle my situation. I've been dating my boyfriend for almost 2 years. I thought we were happy in every aspect, and I could tell him anything, and I thought also could tell me anything. He ...
A. 13 August 2013: Your boyfriend is not to be trusted and I don't think the trust that is broken can ever be re-built. Your boyfriend had no intention of telling you the truth..EVER...and he would have continued with his behavior if not coerced into spilling the ... (read in full...)
This man just really nice, or a big creep?
Q. So people of DearCupid, please help! Is this guy grnuinely nice, or just creepy?! I work at Walmart. My manager is just a year older than me. When I met him 2 1/2 months ago, all we did was jokingly insulteach other. "ugly", "scrawny", etc, jus...
A. 13 August 2013: Yes its a big red flag and no, you're not overreacting. He told you you have a "beautiful heart" just days after knowing you...somehow that's very creepy. I dont know why but it is.
At this stage, he should know how to conduct himself better a... (read in full...)
B/f was bombarding me with drunken phone calls so I turned my phone off and he couldn't contact me when his gran died. He now hates me for not being there for him. How do I handle this?
Q. Hi. My boyfriend had a lot of financial stress and he started drinking heavily, then he would phone me for these stupid drunken conversations. I tried to help with money, emotional support, trying to arrange nice things to do that he din't have to ...
A. 10 August 2013: You're dealing with a very selfish, immature man here. He's shifting his blame on to you because he's feeling guilty...he himself wasn't home and out drinking and he knows this is the best possible way to take you on a guilt trip.
This way, you... (read in full...)
I like him, but am I just staying with him until I find someone that I like better?
Q. This is going to sound horrible..but I might as well just go ahead and say exactly what I feel.. I'm dating my boyfriend for 4 months now, he's crazy about me, would do anything for me.. I like him too, I like spending time with him, I care about hi...
A. 9 August 2013: End it right now. Its not fair to your boyfriend and what you're doing is just wrong. You're stringing him along till someone better comes your way while he adores you and has no clue about what you're thinking. Also remember, the longer you drag it ... (read in full...)
I'm finding it very hard to cope with my marriage ending and need advice from others who had to start over following a divorce
Q. I'm starting over at the age of 25. I had everything. A husband, a house, planning for children. We are getting a divorce after only a year and a half of marriage. I feel embarrassed it was so short. I feel terrified of starting over. I feel old ...
A. 9 August 2013: I get the feeling that you're taking the divorce like a personal failure on your part. The thing is, its NOT. You did everything that you could to save the marriage and when you couldnt, you decided to part ways. That's much better than living in a ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is planning a weekend away with a female friend
Q. Id like some honest advice from men and women to see if I am just being over jealous or if anyone else would feel the same as me. My boyfriend of a year has a 4 year old girl from a previous relationship. He has lots of female friends which I ...
A. 31 July 2013: I'm hoping your boyfriend assumes that you are a part of the mini holiday. Otherwise, you can say goodbye and move on. He cant possibly be THAT clueless about boundaries, I mean, come on!! He cant possibly think that it's OK to have a girlfriend at ... (read in full...)
My partner said he will never forgive me for my shouting at him because he let our 16 week baby boy roll off a chair!
Q. We have a beautiful 16 week baby boy who ia amazing. My partner and I have been together nearly 4 years.Our son is a miracle as we were told we might have problems conceiving. Yesterday my partner told me he did not want to be with me any more, I am ...
A. 16 July 2013: I agree, looks like he was looking for an excuse to leave and he's got it now. It takes two to make a relationship and if he is so absolutely rigid about the fact that he doesn't want to be with you just because of what you said in a fit of anger, ... (read in full...)
I absolutely hate the degree that I'm doing and cant even get myself to finish it but what will my parents say?
Q. Hi guys, I know this isn't the usual kind of question but i've been on this site before and always been impressed with the advice and guidance given so i thought i'd try it out. I've spent the past 3 years doing a degree that i shouldn't ...
A. 2 July 2013: I'm doing a PhD in Sociology OP and I love it but there was a time in my life where I was actually saddled with studying science because my parents wanted me to become an engineer. Can you even believe how diverse the two are? Needless to say I ... (read in full...)
Should I put spyware on boyfriends phone?
Q. Hi Agony Aunties and Uncles, Thank you for taking the time to read this. I am aware that I am being extreme and have crossed some privacy boundaries, but before I take it to another extreme I thought I would check in with the community. I ...
A. 1 July 2013: This is one of the most bizarre options that I have ever heard of!! Seriously, get a hold on yourself! If you dont trust this guy and its gotten to a point where you're considering installing sypware on his phone, then PLEASE break up with him...for ... (read in full...)
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