A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So I was with this guy for 5 years; we didn't work out for certain reasons. And I've moved on, I'm dating someone else who I deeply care about. Recently i hung out with me and my ex's mutual friend and he confided in me that the entire time me and my ex were together all our friends knew he was cheating on me. And actually went into detail with how many girls he cheated on me with. Which ended up being around 12 girls, lost count after 9. And don't get me wrong I'm completely over my ex after what he's did to me, because i actually was aware he cheated on me twice. But ever since my friend (or who is suppose to be my friend yet failed to stand up and say anything to me) told me about this. I cant help but feel even more angry. And i have moved on dont get me wrong, i usually let the past be the past, but for some reason i feel like i need to speak to him or just figure out why. maybe its to give him a piece of my mind; maybe i want to just punch him. But Ive been feeling so angry lately; i dont know if i should just take a deep breathe and let it go because it was in the past or should i confront him about it just so i can let off some steam.
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female
reader, sophie.goodtotalk  +, writes (30 October 2014):
Read this and its occored to me: Your friend is seeing you happy in your new relationship. So can you trust this friend? Said friend appears to want to sabbotage this. I mean from your perspective you cant really talk to your new partner about how your ex cheated lots. Trust is generally a time limited thing. I hope you aren't suffering. My ex cheated, and I made the mistake of asking our mutual friend what he knew of the affair. He said , ah it happened more than I knew. People get broken hearts. And it sucks! Best wishes
A
female
reader, Candid Cally +, writes (27 September 2012):
Your feelings of anger are completely understandable, but I do not feel you will get the closure you desire from confronting him about his numerous infidelities. I think you want to talk to him to find out why he cheated so much. There is really nothing to gain from this because there is nothing you could have done to change his behavior. His actions were about him. They were selfish. His behavior was not because of some deficit in your relationship or because anything was wrong with you.
Contacting him won't provide you with the insight you desire into the motives behind his behavior. Serial cheaters get off on the adrenaline, thrill of the chase, and ego boost they get from seducing multiple people. It is purely selfish and self-destructive behavior. By learning from your past, letting go of your anger and allowing yourself to move on, your heart will find the closure you seek. It will take time, but you will heal.
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A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (27 September 2012):
 Let it go. No good will come from talking with him and don't dirty your hands by punching his face. You're not with the guy any longer and good riddance to bad rubbish. Dont engage in any further conversations regarding him and stay away from the "friend" who is now furnishing unnecessary details.
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A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (27 September 2012):
 You've moved on, so there is no point in seeing your ex again and dragging all of this up again.
Instead I think you should channel your anger at your so called friends, they should have told you about this if they truly cared for you so you should be more angry with your 'friends' rather than your ex.
You knew your ex wasnt right for you and it ended, you knew he was cheating and you knew he was an asshole. So whether it was 2 girls or 20, it doesnt really matter - he was a cheat and you knew that, it ended and you have moved on, there is nothing more to be said to him. Nothing he could say will excuse what he's done, and he will have the same reasons for cheating on you 12 times, as he did for cheating on you twice.
Instead of confronting him, confront your friends - ask them why they allowed this to happen, why no-one told you sooner and why have they been such lousy friends to you. If I were you I would look to find some new friends, ones that have actually got your back and wont stand by watching while someone is out there hurting you repeatedly.
Be angry with your friends, not your ex. No amount of excuses from him will make you feel any better, just write him off as an asshole and feel lucky you have escaped from him!
I hope this helps and good luck!
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A
female
reader, BondGirl72 +, writes (27 September 2012):
 You knew your ex was a cheater, you should leave it in the past. I can understand your angry, but talking to him is just going to stir up drama and more emotional turmoil for yourself.
As for the mutual friend, I question why at this point in time he is choosing to hurt you like this. If he was your friend, he would let sleeping dogs lie and keep his mouth shut. He had to know that this would upset you. If it was me, I would keep my distance from this "friend". If he was that concerned about the 12 girls, he should have told you when it was happening, not after-the-fact.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2012): Let it go, if you have moved on dont worry about the past and he is not worth another breath of air.
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