Kicked BF out of my apartment for online cheating - did I over-react?
Q. I kicked my boyfriend of 9 months out of my apartment after I found evidence he had been flirting with a girl online and even gone as far as to give her his phone number. He also invited her to come visit our town and he'd be a "tour guide". When ...
A. 26 August 2011: you extended a hand of friendship/forgiveness/whatever and he dissed it. it feels crap for you now but in the long run you will realise he has done you a favour. he knows he is guilty thats why he is bowing out. read these posts back to yourself to ... (read in full...)
Porn: sometimes it's helpful
Q. I’ve read countless posts about porn. Women saying porn is killing their self-image, ruining their relationships. Men replying that it just goes with the territory, get over it. By and large the women having a problem with porn are young (18-25)....
A. 20 August 2011: that's an interesting point olderthandirt. i think porn can be a damaging influence to some men, they compare themselves to the men they see in porn - this leaves them with insecurity about penis size and insecurity about their performance when they ... (read in full...)
What do girls think of guys who offer to buy them drinks?
Q. Ok this isnt really a relationship question but it is related to boy-girl stuff. A friend of mine told me the other night that he has never bought a girl a drink--he says that its basically like prostitution, paying a girl to like you. This struck ...
A. 19 August 2011: its more of an old fashioned and maybe gentlemanly thing to do, if a girl is interested in you she will like that you offer her a drink, if the girl is not interested already she may think you are being a creep for offering but may accept it anyway ... (read in full...)
Am I being too hard on myself? What can I do to accept this situation I'm in?
Q. I consider myself some who isn't dependant on having a relationship, but rather someone who is happier in a relationship. My ex girlfriend of 6 months is much the same as me, however, unlike me, she got involved in a new relationship just weeks ...
A. 19 August 2011: your not a loser. so you haven't managed to get someone new and she has? its not a competition. she is your ex. its not your problem or your business to think about what she is doing now. some people ARE relationship dependent you're right and they ... (read in full...)
I cant get over the fact I'm not going to be her first kiss!
Q. I've never been kissed. My girlfriend has. We met in person, now long distance, it has been almost a year. She was kissed years ago, and it still makes her feel used to me. It hurts so bad, and I am so depressed. I've waited my whole life for h...
A. 19 August 2011: "(there is more to this, like why I feel so strongly about first kisses, but this is a summary)"
yes OP it certainly sounds like there is more to your problem. i suggest you need to get some kind of help or therapy if you are crying and depresse... (read in full...)
Porn: sometimes it's helpful
Q. I’ve read countless posts about porn. Women saying porn is killing their self-image, ruining their relationships. Men replying that it just goes with the territory, get over it. By and large the women having a problem with porn are young (18-25)....
A. 19 August 2011: i don't have a problem with porn, as long as it doesn't twist a man's mind and sexuality so that he is unable to perform properly when having real live sex with his partner. OP it is a great shame that you and your wife don't have sex though, just ... (read in full...)
Is our relationship wrong because he used to be my teacher years ago?
Q. I need your advice... I am a 23 year old newly qualified teacher who is about to start her first year teaching full time. My classroom is next to a teacher who is 36 and divorced and last year during my induction we shared a passionate kiss and ...
A. 19 August 2011: if he likes you and you like him there is no problem. i suppose it would feel more weird and wrong if he continued to be your teacher from year 5 onwards, but from what you say it sounds like you didn't see each other after that time. he is ... (read in full...)
Why do people think its okay to berate women who sleep with married men?
Q. I'm so fed up reading people taking the moral high ground on every topic, especially that of married cheats and 'home wreckers' There is so much contraversy surrounding cheating at the moment on this site and I would like to express my views as...
A. 19 August 2011: OP if or when you ever get married, i hope you are this understanding when/if your man has an affair (and if unfaithful ones are the sort that you usually go for, then there is a good chance of him cheating on you in turn)
it is not just the home... (read in full...)
I've found old messages my BFs ex had sent to him
Q. I found some old messages from my bfs ex to him (from before him and I even went out), and they were from my bf saying things like "you look so good naked", "can you wear that tiny thong again" and "i love waking up to you naked". I know it's in the ...
A. 18 August 2011: just stop thinking about it. when you find yourself starting to think about it just find something else to do, anything that engages your brain - watch a film, do some puzzles, play a video game. you will soon get out the habit of thinking about ... (read in full...)
Is this classed as 'fantasising about someone else'? I didn't mean to!
Q. Hello, so long story short two important girls in my life my gf and my best friend..so me and my gf were having sex the other day and im just keeping it cool trying to last longer for my girl.. and its working im doing good..the sex prolongs for ...
A. 18 August 2011: " i haven't told my gf about this yet."
YET???
word of advice - don't tell her. it will hurt her, damage the trust she has for you, wreck her self confidence, she will probably never enjoy sex with you the same again, she may even dump you, o... (read in full...)
I want a baby but my dad would be really angry with me
Q. I need some advice. Im an 18 year old women and although i know its still quite young me and my boyfriend of 14 months are so desperate for a family. I would love to have a baby i know how difficult it would be but im sure we would cope. He has a 2 ...
A. 18 August 2011: your 18. if your boyfriend and you are able to financially to move out and be self sufficient to take care of yourselves and a baby then your dad does not really have much of a say in your decision
BUT you are still studying
you have been wi... (read in full...)
Should I have kicked out my boyfriend for yelling at my son?
Q. Should I have kicked my boyfriend out for shouting at my son? I'm torn by what's recently happened and don't know whether to defend my son and throw my boyfriend out or dissipline my son? He's 6 years old and a bit boystrous at times. Yesterday...
A. 17 August 2011: i don't like to see little kids bawled at especially by step parents, but i am with your boyfriend on this one.
you need to be more firm instead of worrying that you will cause irreparable damage to your son if you are stern with him. he will sti... (read in full...)
I don't want my fiance having strippers at his party!
Q. Tomorrow night will be my bachelorette party and my fiance will be having his bachelor party. We are having two separate parties and I would like him to come home that night. He refuses. Our mutual friend who isn't going to his told me that there ...
A. 17 August 2011: strippers is fine. prostitutes is not. you clearly do not trust him to decline the prostitutes. why marry him? if he is only in his 30s but has two marriages behind him already, do you know truly why his marriages ended??
i agree with you OP, ... (read in full...)
Why do some women choose to start relationships with married men?
Q. There seems to be a disturbing amount of single and married women going after married men on this site. I am just wondering, what makes a married man so irresistible? Does anyone think it's sexy that he's living and having sex with another woman ? ...
A. 17 August 2011: -they have not found someone available to have a relationship with
-they just want someone casual/part time so married man fits the bill perfectly
-they are so desperate for attention/dates/sex/'love' that --they ignore the small detail of him havi... (read in full...)
I fear that I may be wasting my time if my partner waits any longer to make commitment. HELP!
Q. I have been with my partner now for almost 3 years (on and off). About 6 months ago I left him for 3 months then gave the relationship another try, I did truly miss him and my heart did linger for him only. He is 38 years old and I am 24, I live ...
A. 17 August 2011: why has the relationship been 'on and off'? is it coz of this commitment issue or other things? if you keep leaving over other arguments then i can see why he would be reluctant to marry you/move you in.
he is getting what he wants, a part-tim... (read in full...)
We never discussed being FWB, I wanted to be his girlfriend! And now to make things worse he isnt even replying to my texts!
Q. hi everyone this is my problem so i met ths man at the beginning of the year we seemed to be together as a proper couple then it just turned into sex every 3 or 4 weeks we hadnt discussed being fwb as i actually wanted to be with him as his ...
A. 17 August 2011: he is the only one who can really shed light though. whether he chooses to have an honest conversation with though is another matter. i will say though - instead of counting how many kisses he puts on his texts and taking that to 'mean something' - ... (read in full...)
Why is my friend never happy for me??
Q. My friend is kinda annoying me......she's straight with a bf but did have a fling with a girl once but she's straight! I'm gay and she's known for years that I am. my first girlfriend she told her I was gay before we got together thinking it would ...
A. 17 August 2011: Z sounds very jealous. maybe she is not as straight as she is portraying herself to be or maybe she cannot stand it that you had a crush on her once but that you no longer have and are finding new girls. all this girl wants to do is cause trouble ... (read in full...)
I'm dieting but have started to get spots
Q. Hi! I'm having some health issues - I'm in the process of losing weight and I've noticed I have started to develop spots, more white head zit type things on my body. Is this in any relation to the weight loss? It started I had one on my chest near ...
A. 16 August 2011: sounds like you could be lacking in a vitamin. are you actually eating enough?
x... (read in full...)
I think I got involved with a liar, maybe even worse
Q. In June of this year, I met a man on craigslist. I answered his ad, and now I am kicking myself. This person claims to live in another state, but posted in ad in the city where I live, hoping that the woman he found would eventually move to where he ...
A. 16 August 2011: very very evasive behaviour. he is probably married or living with someone and he either texts you when he is in work or he texts you before his wife gets home from work (that's why you never hear from him after 5pm) texts can be tapped out as they ... (read in full...)
His partner died 9 years ago, is it still healthy that he's grieving over him?
Q. Hi I am in a relationship with a guy for the last two years and we live together for the last 6 months, my partner had a partner who died 9 years ago and they were together for 18 years and were very happy My partner is very close with his partner...
A. 16 August 2011: when you say he was crying for 2 days , is this sort of behaviour the norm for him or was it you think because the late partners family had been visiting and dredged up some sad memories? that compounded with the death anniversary.
this does not... (read in full...)
Virgin wants to have an affair with a married man
Q. Okay. This is really crazy but I want to have an affair with a married man. He wants me, too. BUT, I am a virgin!!!! He has no idea. I have been putting it off because I am a virgin but it has come to the point where we can't hold off sex any ...
A. 16 August 2011: it is interesting that you ask for 'no moral judgements' here. seems that you yourself have already judged this to be morally unsound and you are worried that other people will do the same. do the right thing - you may be lacking a man in your life ... (read in full...)
HIV Questions
Q. NOTE: TWO QUESTIONS FROM SAME ASKER COMBINED Can me and my baby remain negativ wen my husband is hiv positiv? Is it advisable to marry a man with hiv?...
A. 16 August 2011: you run a DEFINITE risk of getting HIV if you have unprotected sex with this man. did you not know he was HIV pos when you agreed to marry him? just coz the date is set, this is your LIFE and then DEATH you are dealing with here. if you do go ahead ... (read in full...)
Kicked BF out of my apartment for online cheating - did I over-react?
Q. I kicked my boyfriend of 9 months out of my apartment after I found evidence he had been flirting with a girl online and even gone as far as to give her his phone number. He also invited her to come visit our town and he'd be a "tour guide". When ...
A. 16 August 2011: just stay strong and never forget the sneaky things he has done. write them down and read them back to yourself whenever you get the 'aw, he wasn't that bad, maybe he deserves another chance' moods. and remember these days are the worst, it will ... (read in full...)
I don't love him. Should I leave?
Q. You shouldn't leave the one you love for the one you like. but what if i don't LOVE him? Overtime my feelings towards my boyfriend of 5 months have changed. I never really found him physically attractive, and now since we are back at school, i don...
A. 16 August 2011: absolutely you should. you are the same girl who posted the question about seeing a cute new guy in the neighbourhood and wonders is it ok to add him on facebook aren't you? you have definitely lost all feelings for your BF if you are wanting to ... (read in full...)
Kicked BF out of my apartment for online cheating - did I over-react?
Q. I kicked my boyfriend of 9 months out of my apartment after I found evidence he had been flirting with a girl online and even gone as far as to give her his phone number. He also invited her to come visit our town and he'd be a "tour guide". When ...
A. 16 August 2011: well i hope you don't go soft again and ask him to get back with you. remember he cheated, or at least tried to and then lied to you when you asked. what you need to do now is pick your self respect back up off the floor and and get on with your ... (read in full...)
She cant look at me because of my interest in S&M and older women, but I would happily give that up if she stayed!
Q. My wife and I have been married for over a year and a half. We have a 6 month old boy who is the world to the both of us. This is going to be a long post if you can bear it out. It started a while back ago, from my youth I have always loved porn ...
A. 16 August 2011: why don't YOU set the computer to disable adult sites? that is not the ultimate answer to your problem but its a start. you basically just need to decide what means more to you - your wife and son OR your porn, S&M and older women.
when you deci... (read in full...)
How can I make sure my lover's wife found out about us without him knowing I did it?
Q. I am having an affair with a man from work. I am single, he has been with his partner for about 5 years and they have lived together for one or two years. We worked very closely together for over a year. he had feelings for me throughout this ...
A. 16 August 2011: just a question for you OP - if the girls friend is SO SO possesive and wants to know where he is all the time how on earth is is able to get any time with you? i think you are being lied to, just like she is.
they are not married, they hav... (read in full...)
Why do girls do this?
Q. Why are some girls so mean to each other, especially teenage girls and why are they so clique-ish? On my volleyball team there's this group of girls that think they're th sh!t, some of them are nice, but other are really annoying and mean for no r...
A. 15 August 2011: they are scared to be different in case the are then treated like an outcast. just be yourself - carry on working on trying not to bitch about others, be nice to all, even the ones who don't really deserve it and then you will have a clean ... (read in full...)
Kicked BF out of my apartment for online cheating - did I over-react?
Q. I kicked my boyfriend of 9 months out of my apartment after I found evidence he had been flirting with a girl online and even gone as far as to give her his phone number. He also invited her to come visit our town and he'd be a "tour guide". When ...
A. 15 August 2011: your're right - that doesn't make sense at all. if he 'didn't want to break your heart' he would have been able to say there is 0% chance he would cheat. sounds like this guy has an answer for everything and if he thinks that being a musician on ... (read in full...)
Leave a condom inside?
Q. Why would a guy leave the condom he used inside the girl?...
A. 15 August 2011: i know someone this happened to and it was coz they didn't know it had fell off! afterwards they were like 'WHERE'S the condom?!' and then they realised. if this is about yourself you will need to get a pregnancy test and if a guy has done this to ... (read in full...)
He's left me after 3 years... to go back with the ex!!!
Q. The love of my life has left me after 3 years and gone back to his ex and I'm completely devastated. He says its for the kids sakes and he's broken his own heart by leaving me, that I was also the love of his life, his soulmate and that he will nev...
A. 14 August 2011: this is really rotten, but you won't feel like this forever don't worry. block the mails from her. she is only doing it coz she feels insecure about you in case he dumps her to go back with you - she is trying to make you think there is no chance ... (read in full...)
How you ever dumped someone because they weren't popular?
Q. Guys, have you ever dumped a girl for popularity and because she wasn't in the 'in crowd'? If you have, did you regret it? I'm asking because my sister just got dumped by a popular guy and now, a month later, he's trying to contact her and keeps ...
A. 14 August 2011: this guy either is contacting her because he realises what a shallow prick he was OR he still wants her in his life as a spare for when he is without a girl
x... (read in full...)
Is there a time limit for how long I can keep a sugar Daddy interested?
Q. I turned 29 a fortnight ago. I will be 30 next year at this time. Throughout my 20s I have had several sugar daddies, older men who supported me financially whilst I was pursuing my musical aspirations. They've been good chaps over all, tho of cour...
A. 14 August 2011: carry on being a sugar-baby as long as you like, but the sugar daddies you get will be older! i don't really see a problem with this sort of relationship, as long as no one is lying and trying to fool the other one where's the harm? you will know ... (read in full...)
How can I un-do how fake I've been and not lose her? I've been presenting myself as a fake and that's not me
Q. I have been in relationship with an American girl who happens to be 5 years younger than me. It's been one since we got off to a start and we both seem to be clicking well. However, I am faking too much in front her. The way I talk , the way I wa...
A. 14 August 2011: you need to be able to be happy with your real self. now that you have created this character, i suppose all you can do is just drop the fakisms gradually. one thing at a time. lots of people are a little fake in relationships at first coz they ... (read in full...)
Kicked BF out of my apartment for online cheating - did I over-react?
Q. I kicked my boyfriend of 9 months out of my apartment after I found evidence he had been flirting with a girl online and even gone as far as to give her his phone number. He also invited her to come visit our town and he'd be a "tour guide". When ...
A. 14 August 2011: you didn't over react. you caught him for this, there may even be more stuff you haven't caught him for. stop trying to mail him, you don't need to do anything further to get closure, you have done all you need to. just concentrate now on getting ... (read in full...)
Will I ALWAYS be single?
Q. I am 28 and I only had sex with one man (we had a short relationship when I was 23 - he was 50). He broke my heart very bad. I haven't been able to be in a relationship ever since, just online flirting which turned out it lead to nothing serious. ...
A. 14 August 2011: i think you have become jaded and disenchanted by your past experiences - firstly losing your virginity to a much older man who probably manipulated you to get what he wanted and now for the last few years you have spent your time in the relative ... (read in full...)
Dear guys: how do you see a married man solicting cybersex?
Q. Dear guys: how low on your scale of values is a married man who never says he wants to leave his wife but complains about lack of sex and after a few weeks/months of flirting online, asks for explicit pictures, cybersex over skype phone and video? T...
A. 14 August 2011: this sort of man will never leave his wife, he loves her as a person, a companion, housemate, friend, housekeeper, cook, cleaner, mother of his children, caretaker of house, kids and him. you name it - she has the role in his life. she may even ... (read in full...)
I hear my parents arguing about sex and it's grossing me out!
Q. Hello all. This is not really a question regarding myself beyond the fact beyond that the situation is seriously traumatizing me and really, starting to piss me off. My mom went through menopause 5 years ago and apparently, no longer posses...
A. 14 August 2011: just tell your dad (as i suspect he is the one starting the arguments) 'hey you guys kept me awake last night arguing' - you don't have to tell him that you could hear what they arguing about, he just needs to be told that you hear them, they may ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has erectile dysfunction
Q. I've been dating a guy now for almost two years who is 10 yrs. my senior. I will be 50 next month, and he will be 60 in October. I was separated from my ex-husband for almost 7 yrs. before I divorced him. I had been celibate during the whole time ...
A. 14 August 2011: he is not meeting you half way here is he? even though he is the one with the problem. he could at least TRY Viagra, and what is with the no kissing and hugging?? that's not right! just coz he can't get hard it does not mean that you should be ... (read in full...)
Should I forgive him after I wrote him this?......
Q. "Its Saturday, Again you ignore my calls. Its the same thing you do every Saturday. Last time it was because you forgot your phone, the other two saturdays was because of family problems. Every Saturday theres a new excuse, every saturday night when ...
A. 14 August 2011: did you send this to him? what was his response? from what you say in your message, it sounds like you want more attention than he wants to give. you may not be 'high maintenence' but you seem like too high maintenance for him, and he may not be ... (read in full...)
For a year and a half he told me he loved me and begged me to move in. Now's he's dumped me. How do I get over this?
Q. How do you get over someone you love? It just seems so impossible at this point. I've been in a long distance relationship on and off for about a year and a half! I've never met him in person.(And were only 5 hours away from each other. I know ...
A. 13 August 2011: you will get over this. start by making a list of all the bad things about him - his attitude, the nasty names he called you, the fact that you were kind of afraid to go and see him because he is a nasty person etc - i'm sure you can think of loads ... (read in full...)
My Teen brother is sad his Gf has moved. What should I tell him? How should I start a conversation with him?
Q. Hello, I have a younger teenage brother. His gf moved away to college yesterday. He is rightfully very sad. As his older brother, I feel responsible and obligated to at least comfort him and try to make him feel better; I want him to know that I c...
A. 13 August 2011: just be natural with him. ask how he is feeling about it, let him tell you, if you have any similar experience share it with him. you don't need to have a full on heart to heart conversation with him if you are not normally like that with each ... (read in full...)
It started well. All of a sudden he just wanted sex and nothing more. How do I get him more interested in me as his Gf?.
Q. hi people what is going on here im so confused and i really need your help i met a man at the beginning of the year called Z we dated for 9 weeks when we met then all of a sudden he just wanted sex and nothing more. he was with someone for years and ...
A. 13 August 2011: you are looking at the wrong points here - you are more impressed with the fact that he puts loads of kisses on his texts, stares at you, calls you sexy babe. you are failing to see that he lives one minute away but only sees you every few weeks ... (read in full...)
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