A
female
age
36-40,
*ittleLoveBug
writes:"Its Saturday, Again you ignore my calls. Its the same thing you do every Saturday. Last time it was because you forgot your phone, the other two saturdays was because of family problems. Every Saturday theres a new excuse, every saturday night when i hear from you, you tell me your going to make it up to me that you promise it won't happen again. It happens all over again. Im stuck here wondering what you are doing and why you don't pick up the phone. Im here with my heart hurting feeling like I'm going to die inside. I hate this feeling. I don't deserve it at all. Im worth so much more than this. I give you so much more than this. i think of our future and how i want to have a happy life with you. But those dreams seem like they are never going to happen, because you keep doing this to me. I don't know what to think? I can't keep forgiving you and demeaning myself this way. You are making me look like a fool. No one know about this but me of course. But when i look in the mirror i see a fool, an idiot eating up everyone of your excuses then feeling like shit afterwards. I should have to feel like this, you are bring down my self-esteem. What ever i have left. You are braking me down so hard. Another Problem i have is when i try to tell you something that bothers me, you don't want to hear it. You say I'm trying to argue and you blow up on me. When did things start getting so ugly between us to the point i can't tell you anything. You want me to keep my mouth shut and eat up all the shit you do? I can't do that, if i have to keep my mouth shut i might as well not be with you. Communication has gone out the window with you. I want to hear, baby i love you whats wrong, or baby I'm sorry, or baby ill never do it again, and you actually become a man of your word. But your not, you are filled with lies of hope just to bring me down again. I want someone who's down for me all the time, when i call you pick up, nice long talks on the phone, for you to always try to keep my eyes dry of tears, when i cry be there to comfort me even if its just over the phone. You to want to plan a family and actually start planning soon, for you to put me 1st before anyone or anything, for you to tell me what your going to do, where your going to be, like a married couple, that will be loyal and faithful. For you to love me with all your heart and soul, with everything in you. I want you to always want to talk to me and that be all you want to do. Like if i was the center of your world. As if I'm Oxygen and you can't service without me. But your not like that, not anymore. There are more important things than me, I'm not 1st in your life, doing you is before me. You DONT PICK UP MY CALLs. You Do IGNORE my calls. You make lame ass excuses to cover up why you don't pick up. You hardly comfort me when i cry. You are always making me cry. You shout at me, you are losing respect for me. we don't have long convos on the phone. You are too busy watching power rangers, playing your game, watching a t.v. show, playing with your music. There's not that 100% concentration on me. I want 100% on me at lead 75% of the time. I don't get 50%. Thats sad! I give you everything you want and more. I tolerate your shit everyday. I will do anything for you and be with you forever, i'll take care of you be faithful, make you a part of my family. I'm so loyal to you and would do the world for you. You know this, but i can't continue on doing this to myself. hurting myself like this when it comes to you. I try and you just keep messing up. relationships aren't perfect, but this is too much for me. this isn't what i want to live with, i don't want to suffer like this anymore. I don't know what you think you are running here or what kind of girl do you think i am. But I'm not going to be your little fool anymore. I'm not going to chase you, I'm not going to let myself fall on my face anymore. I love you with all my heart. I can't be with you, not like this. I don't know what your doing who you have, and i can't make you who i want you to be. I can't change you to be the man i want or that man of my dreams. Like i said I'm in love with you, but id rather leave now before i start to hate you. And I'm already starting to not like you. Im so in pain its not even funny, I love you. I can't keep doing this though. I can't. I Tried so hard with you..."
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female
reader, Lucky786  +, writes (14 August 2011):
 Wow! If I were him I don't think there is ANYTHING I could say in response!!
I think you had a good vent!
Going back to your question, I'm not sure this is about forgiving him. We ask for forgiveness when we make a mistake. What you're asking is "Do I forgive his behaviour?" If what you say is true, I would say that his behaviour is unforgiveable. He's obviously not committed to you and you should think about finding someone more deserving of your time and attentionl.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2011): You're expecting way too muchprepare to be alone forever or settling for someone who you don't love
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (14 August 2011):
 He sounds like a waste of your time. Find someone else who is more grateful for having you in his life. The man you are with right now will not change for you, and he will never become a man of his word for you. So do not break your heart more for him, he isn't good for you. Cut him out.
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A
female
reader, angelDlite +, writes (14 August 2011):
 did you send this to him? what was his response? from what you say in your message, it sounds like you want more attention than he wants to give. you may not be 'high maintenence' but you seem like too high maintenance for him, and he may not be totally disinterested in you but he is too disinterested for your liking.there is a vast difference in what you both want out of this relationship, if he does not respond positively to your message, then maybe it is time to end the relationship and you can look for someone who makes you more of a priority than he does, but be careful coz if you think that a guy should think or you as the oxygen he needs and you want to be always put before his other hobbies, your expectations may be too high and that will create another unhealthy unhappy relationship. i agree with you about the ignoring your calls on the saturdays though, weekends are typically 'couple time' i think and if a guy is consistently ignoring you on the weekend and spending all the time with his friends that is a very bad sign and shows he is not into the relationship. talk to him about your concerns. listen to his responses, but more importantly look at his actions following your conversation. no matter what he says to you - if he carries on the same, let him gox
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