A
female
age
41-50,
*ennaHB
writes:Dear guys: how low on your scale of values is a married man who never says he wants to leave his wife but complains about lack of sex and after a few weeks/months of flirting online, asks for explicit pictures, cybersex over skype phone and video?Thanks for taking the time to answer
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cybersex, flirt, married man Reply to this Question
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female
reader, RedAthena  +, writes (14 August 2011):
 If that man spent more time trying to make his marriage better and more emotionally solvent, he might not need to seek out online affairs.
I was approached by several married men to have online affairs. While I do understand the pain of a loveless and affectionless marriage...I got divorced and ended a painful relationship so I could look for a loving one the right way.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2011): He is being unfaithful regardless. It might be cyber sex but he is being unfaithful to his wife. You need to think back to the situation and how you would feel if you met a man who became your husband and you found out he had been having cyber sex with several different girls online? You'd feel devastated, hurt and betrayed. Don't be one of the girls who gives him as he pleases. Don't be one of the girls he betrays his wife with. Be the bigger person and turn your back on this man. He is being selfish in regards to his wife. She doesn't deserve to be treat that way and the fact he doesn't want to leave her is as if he is saying he wants the cake and the icing to go with it. He is not respecting her. You need to be the bigger person and tell him how it is and leave him to ponder his thoughts and do as he pleases without you in the picture. It'll only lead to hurt. Don't be dragged into such a triangle and try to think how you would feel if you were his wife and the tables were turned.
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A
female
reader, angelDlite  +, writes (14 August 2011):
 this sort of man will never leave his wife, he loves her as a person, a companion, housemate, friend, housekeeper, cook, cleaner, mother of his children, caretaker of house, kids and him. you name it - she has the role in his life. she may even still give him plenty of sex and he is lying to you to as he feels this justifies his actions. what he is looking for to complete his life is some extra sex with a different vagina and hopefully someone who may do for him things that his wife does not want to do or that he does not want to subject her too. in brief- you would be providing sex but nothing else. he has his wife for all his other needs and he is happy with the set-upx
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A
female
reader, NennaHB +, writes (14 August 2011):
NennaHB is verified as being by the original poster of the question From what I know, there have been many infidelities from both parts during the years(they've been married for 20) - real life cheating. So now he just seems like a hunter for any online thrill he can get.I denied him that saying it was under my dignity and we slowly stopped talking so much. He said we should probably have a father-daughter like relationship.He has another facebook "sweetheart" who came up to me asking me to state my intentions towards him. I gave her no response.It is clear he would never leave his wife for anyone but explicitly told me he thinks I could be the perfect mistress, just that "I am not ready yet." And by ready he means I am not willing to strip on skype.He also said he would have no problem on cheating on his wife in real life. We live 2000km apart and I am not thinking of going to him just to get laid. As much as I love the way he looks.
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A
male
reader, spinnaker +, writes (14 August 2011):
 IT is a natural result of spending too much time online and not enough time with the person that is supposed to mean so much to him. This sort of thing is very easy to fall into - though this is not an excuse.
Cybersex and emotional affairs online seem to be the victimless crime dujour - but they destabilize relationships very quickly and subtley.
HAs this wife confronted her husband about his indiscretion?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2011): He's a scumbag. If you're on the receiving end, spare your time and find someone else to spend time with.
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