A
female
age
41-50,
*erhapsNot
writes:There seems to be a disturbing amount of single and married women going after married men on this site. I am just wondering, what makes a married man so irresistible? Does anyone think it's sexy that he's living and having sex with another woman ? Is anyone getting turned on by the amount of kids he has? How about the fact that he is a lying and deceiving his partner? I just don't understand how anyone would want all this baggage. So what do you see in these married men?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2011): You don't choose to fall in love, it just happens. Whether someone is married or not cannot stop the feelings one develops...you can't control how you feel you are only in control of your actions. I think People write about this problem on this website because there is no other outlet as it is not acceptable to be in love with a married man. They seek help, advice as they are trying to make sense of it all. Just my 2 cents
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2011): "a woman with true inner self confidence would tell a married man to jog on, coz she would realise that she is worth more "
I think, as a married man, that this is the crux of the issue.
The single woman, competing for a man, can feel rejected, and if they have low self esteem this can eat at them. A married guy, particularly one who is "mostly happily" married, who starts hitting on them can really boost their ego as they realize that he might be willing to "throw it all away" for them.
I think the same thing happens to men as well who are single who get involved with married women.
When I was single, and available, married women seemed awfully attracted to me...it was a problem more than once although I avoided the relationship opportunities, and the same thing seemed to apply to single but involved women as well.
Once I got married, single women seemed a lot more friendly, and younger married women also did as well. Maybe I was simply viewed as safe, but the comments could be easily construed the wrong way and definitely seemed to be fishing for a response.
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A
female
reader, angelDlite  +, writes (17 August 2011):
 -they have not found someone available to have a relationship with
-they just want someone casual/part time so married man fits the bill perfectly
-they are so desperate for attention/dates/sex/'love' that --they ignore the small detail of him having a wife at home
-they are jealous of the wife/home/kids set up and choose to have sex with him to stick it to the wife
-they want to believe they are more desirable and better than what he has at home
-they fall for him first as a friend/colleague and then the feelings develop into something that makes them want more of him
-they are duped by men who pretend to not be married
-they are duped by men who say they are married but only in name/on paper/ for the kids/ house / financial reasons
-they are horny and it doesn't matter to them that the man is not single
-they fool themselves that THEY are not hurting anyone 'coz HE is the one having the affair' not them
-they feel sorry for the man who comes along and tells them his tale of woe about the horrible bitch wife (sometimes the bitch-wife stories are true) and they are sure that they can treat him better and be all that she isn't
-they have no conscience
-they have no empathy that makes them question 'how would i feel if i were the cheated wife/mother of his kids
basically these reasons stem i think from low self esteem, having to do this to validate theirself as desirable and being able to get the better of another women, also they feel it is acceptable to be used this way by the man, they over romanticise the situation so it doesn't make them feel cheapened. they may also not have the confidence to turn down a married man who shows interest because they are not sure anyone else will be attracted to them.
a woman with true inner self confidence would tell a married man to jog on, coz she would realise that she is worth more
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2011): Yes!! I had nearly the same question but mine was "why cheat or be a homewrecker." i completely agree!!!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2011): Asked a similar question myselfI mean who wants sloppy seconds?!!!I guess any man is better than none for some
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