A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hi everyone this is my problem so i met ths man at the beginning of the year we seemed to be together as a proper couple then it just turned into sex every 3 or 4 weeks we hadnt discussed being fwb as i actually wanted to be with him as his girlfriend. i havent heard from him since a week gone yesterday i text him yesterday but got no reply. our last texts were last week, i got a text off him at 9.15am with 5 kisses on so i text him back the same just kisses, then i got another text off him asking if i was still in bed so i replied yes i am with kisses on, then i waited a hour and he hadnt text back so i sent him a text just saying what you up to cos i thought he wanted to come round or me go to his as we live close by, but again i got no reply. what have i done wrong? i dont get why he is not speaking to me im not going to text him again as i dont want to hassle him, i just dont know what ive done! do you think he wanted to see me cos he wanted to talk to me? im so confused. thank you in advance for any answers posted i really need your help to shed some light on this situation x
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female
reader, angelDlite +, writes (17 August 2011):
 he is the only one who can really shed light though. whether he chooses to have an honest conversation with though is another matter. i will say though - instead of counting how many kisses he puts on his texts and taking that to 'mean something' - look at the bigger picture - he is now not even bothering to reply to you. if he was that interested in you he would not DARE to do that coz he would be scared that you would fall out with him and go and get someone else. he is obviously very secure in the knowledge that you ain't going nowhere else!
don't let someone use you. if he wants an FWB and you want a BF then you are not wanting the same thing. a clean break is best for you then you will be emotionally available and ready to go out and find a real BF
x
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2011): I'm sorry to have to post this, but only seeing this guy every 3 or 4 weeks and not speaking to him a week or so at a time, I have to conclude that you're a booty call. That's definitely not how a guy treats a girlfriend. I wouldn't even call it a FWB type situation, as those tend to be more regular.It's probably beyond the point of salvaging a relationship with this guy, but if that's what you want you need to make it clear to him. Don't just assume or try to guess what's on his mind and what his intentions are - come out and ask him. Unfortunately, I'm predicting that if you try to get this guy into a girlfriend / boyfriend style relationship that he'll just disappear. I'm sorry, but he is very likely only in it for the sex.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2011): I think he's just moved on. You went from regular dating to FWB every 3-4 weeks and now not even a text.The lust rush has worn off for him. Your right not to text him, just forget him and a relationship of any kind as it didnt progress as one initially.Its not that you've done something wrong in his eyes, it just wasn't meant to be beyond sex for him.I know its not easy but chalk it up to experience and find a man who wants to date but don't let it turn into FWB again, get to know him before you have sex, build a foundation.
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A
female
reader, Lucky786 +, writes (16 August 2011):
 I think you are reading a little too much into things here. First you acknowledge that your relationship has become a FWB relationship which you didn't want. So now you are thinking like a girlfriend "What have I done?" etc and he is thinking of you (and treating you as a FWB) with odd texts here and there. If you were thinking of him purely as a FWB, you wouldn't think much of him not texting back.If you don't want to be in a FWB relationship, dont! If you carry on you are going to end up getting very hurt. Everytime he comes to see you and leaves you after having sex.Time to find out out he sees your relationship and decide if you can move on together or go your separate ways.
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