Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, angelDlite  +, writes (16 August 2011):
 you run a DEFINITE risk of getting HIV if you have unprotected sex with this man. did you not know he was HIV pos when you agreed to marry him? just coz the date is set, this is your LIFE and then DEATH you are dealing with here. if you do go ahead and marry him you should never have sex to conceive a child with him. that not only puts YOU in danger but the child you conceive. if you want to gamble with your life that is up to you but it would be very wrong of you to gamble with your child's life
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female
reader, luv2luvme  +, writes (15 August 2011):
 If you are afraid of contracting the virus or passing it on to your child then I would say no it is not advisable to marry or bare children with this individual. You don't sound like you are willing to take the risk. Good luck!
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female
reader, RedAthena +, writes (15 August 2011):
 Talk to a Dr. about your medical risks.
Just because there is a date set, does not mean you MUST marry this person.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2011): What a selfish man is he? DON'T GET MARRIED WITH A PERSON LIVING WITH HIV. You can take good care of him. Please cancel the weeding. Don't be neive and ignorant
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female
reader, Abella +, writes (15 August 2011):
 Hiyou would not be asking if you were not worried. And you can delay a wedding while you think things through. A person who is HIV positive sometimes irrationally thinks getting with some one who is not HIV positive will be "good for them"BUT - is it good for you?How long before you are pressured to have children with him? That means unprotected sex.you cannot guarantee that he will not give your HIV. And that could shorten your life.Give priority to your existing child. You will condemn your existing child to becoming an orphan if you are infected by the virus by someone who is HIV positive.,If he is HIV positive then why cannot he be satisfied with a woman who wants no more children and is HIV positive too.HIV positive people have a high chance of getting more and more ill. I would not risk it. Is it really worth your life? To marry this man?
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female
reader, Briggy  +, writes (15 August 2011):
Briggy is verified as being by the original poster of the question Tanks very much but seriously dont kow what to do because the wedin date has been fixed already
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female
reader, Abella +, writes (15 August 2011):
You must use condoms on every occasion you have sex with this man. Your have said that he is HIV positive.Any time you have unprotected sex (with no condom) then you run the risk of catching this virus from a person who is already HIV positive. You have a strong chance of getting the virus from sharing body fluids (especially semen and even pre-cum)Other ways a person can get the virus is from coming in contact with the blood of the person who is HIV positive. Doctors understand this risk - this is why you will see Doctors and Dentists and Nurses take special care when they are in the presence of the blood of a client. They understand the risks.If you want more children and want this man to be the father then this means you would have to risk unprotected sex. That puts you and your unborn baby at risk of contracting the virus. At the moment you and your baby are free of the virus. The only way to test if you have the virus is by a blood test at the hospital.Once you have unprotected sex with a person with HIV then you are at risk of contracting the virus. Your body will try top fight the virus, and after two to eight weeks you body will try to make anti-bodies. This does not help you. It is just your body trying to fight back. So you can have a test straight after sex with a person who is HIV positive and it will not yet show if you have contracted the virus. You need to have another test in a few weeks to confirm if you are still safe eight weeks later. One test is not enough. Personally I think it is a huge risk to have unprotected sex with a person who already has HIV. And better to be very very firm with a new partner. Be certain and secure about whether a new partner is capable of being faithful for eight weeks. And if you want more children then the man and the woman should be tested for the virus and then have eight weeks of celibacy until both have been pronounced HIV free.The spread of this cruel virus will not be stopped without extreme vigalance and much medical research to find a cure. That is a long way off, it seems. My heart goes out to people who already have it. If both partners already are HIV postive and do not intend to have more children and do intend to remain faithful to each other then they can lovingly care for each other and support each other through the tough times if the virus takes a turn for the worse.But if two people are both HIV free then why would they want to risk that HIV free status by being unfaithful and risking catching the virus?And if one person is HIV positive and the other HIV negative then why would they want to risk more children, knowing that an innocent child could be born with HIV?I respect the people who make a decision to risk it. But I do believe it is Russian Roulette and gambling with one's future health to think that they will never get the virus if they do continue to have unprotected sex with a person who is HIV positibe. However I find it harder to understand why anyone would want to put an unborn child at risk of being born HIV positive. Even though such children do manage to lived their lives for a certain period. But always is the risk of more illness from the full blown version of this cruel illness. And if both their parents are HIV positive then such children risk being orphaned at a young age. But the decision is up to you. Take please do take good care of you and also think of your baby and any more children who you have not yet conceived with a partner.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2011): YES! It's possible that both you and the baby can remain H.I.V. negative, .....but it is highly unlikely.
Also, I wouldn't recommend that ANY woman marry a man known to have H.I.V. unless you yourself are a carrier of this dreaded disease. Good luck to you both.
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male
reader, MikeEa1  +, writes (15 August 2011):
 my sister had a baby when she was hiv positive and the baby was ok. I would not say this was the rule. you should seek medical advice
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