A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I turned 29 a fortnight ago. I will be 30 next year at this time. Throughout my 20s I have had several sugar daddies, older men who supported me financially whilst I was pursuing my musical aspirations. They've been good chaps over all, tho of course in exchange for their treating me well, I've had to sexually satisfy them from my end.My close friends are mostly all married and I recently I am wondering if it is rather pathetic for a 29 year old woman to still be in sugar daddy relationships.Please, I am not asking for advice on whether what I am doing is right or wrong. Please do not give me a moral lecture. I am only asking in your opinion whether there is a proper age limit for a sugar daddy relationship, past which it is either infantilizing or just plain pathetic?Thanks
View related questions:
older men Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2011): If you ever want to be takes seriously as a musician, you need to do it soon. If not able within a year or two, you need to accept reality.The producers,etc. you meet likely all know what you do, and if they /you are open about it,will say to your face that hey,its your business,BUT-they aren't interested in your music.They are interested in free samples. There's a reason people in the industry refer to women with your lifestyle as "SAMES"(singer/actress/model/escorts). You are all the same,and all think you deserve a big break and justify not wanting to work with delusions of talent. I am sure you do have some wonderful qualities, but,based on this question,musical talent isn't one of them,and the one you are known for isn't getting you anywhere but nowhere. I think you are not so much getting too old to escort as growing beyond it and almost ready to start a new life.Keep your msic,but do not depend on it for income,as history shows you cannot rely on this.You already know that soon you'll have to hustle more for less to continue as you have.Look at other options.Not saying grow up,just saying you deserve more than being the SAME.
A
male
reader, Kyle007  +, writes (15 August 2011):
You are not asking if something is right or wrong, just whether or not its pathetic?
Its pathetic.
(aren't you glad I spared you the moral lecture? I told you that you were pathetic and did not even explain why. "pathetic" is YOUR WORDS. You already know what's going on).
...............................
A
male
reader, MikeEa1  +, writes (15 August 2011):
 if you want to bonk for money thats your business, but I think maverick494 has a point, there is a time for play and a time to grow up. if you think it's your lifestyle carry on for the rest of your life. you will always be able to find an older man. but the question about how long you can keep a sugar daddy interested. do you mean how long for each sugar daddy or how old you have to get before the sugar daddys lose interest? either way it's a lifestyle question. if that lifestyle suits you go with it. you'll still be able to do it at 95 if you want.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2011): I'm not so worried about the sell by date for dating sugar daddies but more worried about the fact that you are nearly 30 and your music hasn't kicked off. It's really hard to break the industry at that age so you may want, no, need to find a reliable income of money that you yourself are in charge of
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2011): There's really no age limit. You just stop being a sugar baby and instead become a mistress. It's pretty much the same thing.
The ignorance in this thread is pretty amazing. It's not really about how you look, it's about how you ACT. I've had such arrangements before (and would again). Sex is not hard to get so it's more than just that. What makes a good mistress is how well she can act with you and make you feel.
If you like such arrangements and want to continue then you should. Enjoy!
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2011): As a professional vocalist and songwriter(who paid her dues and her own way), I can honestly say that if you cannot support your "musical aspirations" after all this time, you might wanna consider taking up karaoke and a career plan, because if you were talented enough,given all the free time you likely had thanks to your,um,daddys, you'd be somewhat successful by now.
As to your main question, if you tale care of yourself, you probably have 5 years to a decade more in which to continue with your lifestyle and fantasies of stardom.
...............................
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (15 August 2011):
 "Is [there] a proper age limit for a sugar daddy relationship, past which it is either infantilizing or just plain pathetic?"
Infantile or pathetic to whom? Other people or yourself? If it's other people, some will think sugar daddy relationships are ridiculous from the start, some will think they are normal. If it's yourself, um, well, that's for you to determine.
I guess one way to look at it is that there is always a market for this type of thing; it's just the monetary value of the trade that may diminish over time.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2011): The part I don't understand about your question is that you ask us not to judge you, say you don't want moralizing lectures, and yet you ask us to choose between "pathetic" and "infantilizing" to describe your behavior. Morality and propriety usually tend to go hand and hand....and it seems you've already condemned yourself.
It's apparent you don't even agree with what you're doing morally. Otherwise, you wouldn't be using those terms in the first place.
This is not moral advice, but I think you should choose a way of life that you can respect internally. Otherwise you start to hate yourself, or more conveniently, you just choose to believe everybody else does...the paranoia and low self esteem you cultivate aren't worth the money you get.
...............................
A
female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (15 August 2011):
There's a time for play and a time to grow up. The time for play has passed. Get out of this now before your pheromones dry up and you start feeling bitter about lost time and getting older. I won't judge you for your choices. I can understand temptation and the allure of money. But like many things that revolve around looks (modeling, escorting, etc.) you come with an expiration date. Once you acknowledge that and accept this as being a phase--one of which you reached the end of--you can move forward. Get stuck and you'll regret it the rest of your life.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2011): I would still say 35 or so is young enough
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2011): Time is running out. If you see your looks fading it's time to start becoming self-reliant.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2011): Keep putting out and they'll keep paying... it's simple. As you get older you'll have to keep having sex with older and older men who think that a nice young 43 year old is a "catch"... as long as you're willing to whore out the ass, they'll pay... but being 60 and having to go down on an 80 year old doesn't sound like much of a life.
...............................
A
male
reader, Beingblack +, writes (14 August 2011):
 The fact that you are here asking the question kind of gives the game away. You believe that there is a time limit, and you believe that your time is running out.
Having played the game, you know what these men are looking for.
I do, I worked in London for years and saw the 'Friday Night' girls gathered in reception every week, heading away for the weekend with some Director ar another.
What would you like from the rest of your life? If giving it away for a little soft-top car, or jewellery and clothes, or maybe even a little pied-a-terre in Zone 2 is all you want, then carry on.
But as you know, sugar daddies are only interested in how you LOOK, and what they get from you, not who you are. They do not show any loyalty as such, and will kick you to the kerb when you begin to mature. Keep trying to maintain the interest if you must, but we all know you are fighting a losing battle.
...............................
A
female
reader, angelDlite +, writes (14 August 2011):
 carry on being a sugar-baby as long as you like, but the sugar daddies you get will be older! i don't really see a problem with this sort of relationship, as long as no one is lying and trying to fool the other one where's the harm? you will know when the time is right to stop doing this when you maybe in the future decide you want to settle down with someone, regardless of whether they have money or not and you may want to have a child with someone who is young enough to be able to see that child grow up and to grow old with you
x
...............................
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (14 August 2011):
Yep, what the others have said. You're basically out of time, and you seem to be missing out on other parts of your life that are now starting to catch up with you.
...............................
A
female
reader, celtic_tiger +, writes (14 August 2011):
 To be honest, I think it is rather sad that you have felt the need to have ANY of this type of relationships. As a woman, I cannot imagine using anyone for my own selfish needs, and paying for it with sexual favours. But that is just me. I would rather go without, than prostitute myself to somone just for money. Why do you feel the need to do this anyway? What motivates you to have this type of relationship? Perhaps it is time to address the underlying issues...
Ronnie70 has a point tho - at 29, you are fast heading out of the age bracket that sugar daddies are looking for. You are hitting middle age. Regardless of if you want to continue with them or not, these men will not want you for much longer as you are too old.
...............................
A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (14 August 2011):
 Truly, I think you've hit your sugar daddy expiration date.
Unfortunately, you've wasted 12 years that most people have used to cultivate self-sufficiency and independence rather than selling sex for money.
Best thing for you now is to grow up, drop the utterly debilitating and self-masochistic defensiveness, and switch your thinking to the next phase of your life involving learning a different trade, skill, or career.
You've had musical aspirations? Do you still have them? Can you parlay that experience into something that sustains you? Music is far beyond just the rock star track. If your music aspirations don't hold a career, maybe some of your contacts do.
...............................
A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (14 August 2011):
 There's NO age limit on using someone, that's why they force us to say,"til death do us part" samr thing as sugar daddy except you probably give back more than the average wife does.
...............................
A
female
reader, Battista +, writes (14 August 2011):
I suppose it depends what you want out of life. If you want to settle down and have a family then as a woman your biological clock will most likely dictate that you will want to think about preparing for parenthood within the next 10 years I would imagine.
...............................
A
male
reader, Ronnie70 +, writes (14 August 2011):
 I'm quite sure that from the sugar daddy's point of view there's no time limit - just as long as you remain 29 years of age and don't go beyond 30!
...............................
|
