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... Send *rg123 a private message | | | *rg123's profile:I am a 30 y/o Male from Peterborough. I have a experience of life and more relationships than I would like to be honest. What makes me tick is a complicated question. Enjoy writing about various issues.
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| Latest articles: Is life 'uncomplicated' for singletons?
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
31 July 2011: Single life, we are told in any case, is the life of riley. However, if you look at the questions on this website and were too do a survey of the martial status of the questioners I bet just as many would turn out to be single as do attached, in ...
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I want to know his feelings!
Q. i’m in love with a boy and he’s my friend about one year,one day i confess him that i love him but he didn’t say anything i was so broken after that,and he didn’t talk, about that and he acted so normaly,then after sometime i was talking to him and ...
A. 9 October 2011: Manoul,
What do you mean by 'not available'? Do you mean in a relationship sense, or in the non-contactable sense? I am almost tempted to suggested to say your confusing yourself a little - I understand its hard when you have these feelings... (read in full...)
I want to know his feelings!
Q. i’m in love with a boy and he’s my friend about one year,one day i confess him that i love him but he didn’t say anything i was so broken after that,and he didn’t talk, about that and he acted so normaly,then after sometime i was talking to him and ...
A. 8 October 2011: Well your sending mixed signals here so I am not surprised he has been a bit recalcitrant with his. It can be a bit of a shock to have somebody turn round and say they love you so that explains his initial response. Saying you love somebody is a big ... (read in full...)
I can forgive and forget, but can he?
Q. I was with an ex for 4 years, we split up as we was arguing a lot at the time then he said he didn't love me anymore an to move on. I begged and begged for him to change his mind but nothing. So after so long of rejection I moved on, I didn't intend ...
A. 6 October 2011: Sorry but if you both love each and it seems from this you really do - that is a genuinely very silly reason not to get back together. You were split up - you would both be very upset and bouncing around and maybe make some bad calls - im tempted to ... (read in full...)
I can forgive and forget, but can he?
Q. I was with an ex for 4 years, we split up as we was arguing a lot at the time then he said he didn't love me anymore an to move on. I begged and begged for him to change his mind but nothing. So after so long of rejection I moved on, I didn't intend ...
A. 1 October 2011: I really dont think the issue is forgiveness and forgetting here - the issue is resolving whatever it is that caused the break-up in the first place. Now its a bit hard to make a pronouncement on that from here without knowing more but there must ... (read in full...)
I am moving soon. We argue too much. Would it be healthier to completely separate?
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been dating for about 6 months and things are starting to fall apart. I am moving to a neighboring state in a few weeks and we have just been having little arguments ever since i told him. Arguments about little pointles...
A. 26 September 2011: Well I think before you go dashing off here you need to get to the bottom of what is causing the arguments. You say you have been having these ever since you told him you are going to move, so maybe he is feeling insecure and since this is niggling ... (read in full...)
He's moving away, and this could be our last chance of a relationship, help! Do I give it a chance?
Q. Hey, any advice would be appreciated! right, first of all I'll tell you the basic story. I'm with this guy. I met him in college, he's similar to me in things like music, and our views on things, I get on well with his family and he does with min...
A. 25 September 2011: Well maybe you are feeling it because you are never likely to see him again but that doesnt make that feeling necessarily false, does it? It just means circumstances have brought things to a head. I think from what your friend is saying to you, he ... (read in full...)
Post-second date jitters. Why hasn't she texted me back yet?
Q. I have never really been one for internet dating, not sure why really. Anyway my Friends at work signed me up to this dating site so i thought i would give it a try. I went on a date last Wednesday, just for a drink. It went really well, she seemed ...
A. 23 September 2011: I really would try and relax about this, there are many, many different reasons why somebody cannot text back straight away, if I get mobbed on Twitter I am tardy replying to texts, if I am at work I am, if I am out I am, If I am writing I am, etc, ... (read in full...)
She says she loves me. But what should I do about this relationship? She puts me down, insults me and belittles me.
Q. hey ..i am a 21 yr old guy madly in love with a 23 yr old girl...she might be older but is totally like a kid. she loves me tooo. its been 1 yr to our realtion and eversince we fell in love things started changing. she became very very nagging ...
A. 21 September 2011: Bin her off, is the short answer. She is emotionally abusive to you and this relationship is simply not good for you. You may well love her, and I appreciate that, but she is treating you in a totally unacceptable way. Obviously, she has big issues ... (read in full...)
Can this be real? My dream from the past becoming a reality.
Q. My ex and i once shared a dream and this dream never became a reality due to the fact that he ended things between us this caused untold damage in every way imaginable. i managed to carry on with my life an met someone else who treats me very well...
A. 19 September 2011: Well, I am a bit puzzled as to what the dream actually was for a start. Yes, it's totally possible and you will get a variety of explanations as to what causes this depending on what an individual believes; personally, I believe absolutely in the ... (read in full...)
Is she still interested or just playing?
Q. So here's the deal. I was going out with this girl for a while (about 2 years) and things didn't end so well. It has been 3 years now since we have seen each other. The odd thing though is that we have talked about every other month or so since ...
A. 18 September 2011: You will struggle to get a straight answer to this one, from her at least, because I think even if you asked her point blank, she wouldn't know. My guess is that she obviously still has feelings for you, is being sincere in what she is saying, but ... (read in full...)
My ex-partner is now socialising with my old friends with her new partner!
Q. Hello I broke up from my partner in July 2010. Up until March this year we managed to remain good friends. Now we have both moved on, she has a new partner, but is socialising with my friends of 10 years who I introduced her too. I'm finding it ...
A. 17 September 2011: Hmmmmm well, you cant really tell he she can't socialise with your friends, nor your friends not to socialise with her, neither are your property and both have the inviolable right to do as they please pretty much in this regard. I can understand ... (read in full...)
B/f had to move to another area and now I feel we are losing "us"
Q. I have been in a relationship for 2 years. All was well, until a few months ago my partner started a new job and had to move to another area. Now we see each other every 6 weeks. He has always been an optimistic, cheerful and outgoing sort of ...
A. 15 September 2011: I think this is mostly a natural reaction on your part to the enforced move of your partner. I would be extremely weary of reading too much into him "not mentioning these things anymore" - you say he "seems to be doing fine" - but moving is a ... (read in full...)
He's my first, but all these other girls ...
Q. im 19/f and my boyfriend is 20/m we have been dating for nearly 4 months now, but to us it feels much much longer then that. We knew each other for 4 or so months before we even started dating, and back then, i fell for him the moment we met. ...
A. 13 September 2011: Well your right, it is your insecurities. However, what he said about your performance in bed was, I think, a little cold and harsh though and the point is that he is obviously your first sexual partner, he may have experience but you dont and he ... (read in full...)
Confusion over two guys in my life! Help!
Q. I still have feeling for my ex,and he just proposed to me. But right now I'm in another relationship,though i don't trust my present bf that much,but i also love him. Am so confused right now...
A. 12 September 2011: Right so many issues here and such a short question. Your ex proposed to you? Well, why is he an ex? Without telling us that it's hard to judge. Secondly, why don't you trust your current bf? I have to say you obviously still have some residual ... (read in full...)
Random cyber sex with strangers? yes. So why can't I face being intimate with my boyfriend?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years and though we've come close I always stop myself from getting too intimate. I can't seem to get comfortable enough to let him see my body or even touch me sometimes. The worst part is I've had cyber ...
A. 11 September 2011: Well I think the issue here is that you feel more comfortable having cyber-sex because its 'at arms length' so to speak. Its a way enough away from you for you to feel comfortable, after-all its only random you are chatting too from heaven knows ... (read in full...)
Do we all need space?
Q. Do we all need space from our partners? What exactly does it mean when your boyfriend says we need space, you have things to do with your kids and I also have my things to do ... ...
A. 6 September 2011: My short answer to this would be yes. Ask me a couple of years ago and I would have said no but that is an entirely different story. It can mean a variety of things but in this instance, with little else to go on, I am assuming it means he just ... (read in full...)
Just recently called me the wrong female name, twice. Is he cheating?
Q. Hello, My bf and I have been together for 3 years. We don't live together. Recently he's called me two different female names one was his exes name, the other was some name I've never heard of. He has no sisters nor anyone he works with by that name...
A. 4 September 2011: Well it could mean that yes, your basically asking if it could be a Freudian slip, which, of course it could be BUT it's a big leap from there to assuming he is actively cheating on you. The fact it was two different names mitigates against it ... (read in full...)
Should my brother have told me?
Q. I have been torned up about my ex's cheating thats why he is now my ex...but all through my 22 yrs of marriage I always thought we had a fairytale marriage until 4 years ago ...I was devastated to say the least.....so now we're separated I am ...
A. 3 September 2011: Right there are a few separate issues here. The answer to your question is yes, he should have told you, he is your brother. He should have told you much earlier than he did, truth be told, this was the wrong time to tell you because it has brought ... (read in full...)
My ex moved in with his new girlfriend so quickly!
Q. Its so hard to explain how I really feel.. I just recently found out that my ex bf of five years, just moved in with his new gf.. We broke like a year and a half.. He's only been with with this girl a couple of months and he's already living with ...
A. 31 August 2011: Hmmmmm I suspect the reason this bugs you is because your questioning whether what you had meant as much to him as it did to you? His actions may not necessarily show that, in fact, paradoxically,. they may indicate as serious rebound. If you too ... (read in full...)
I feel so jealous and insecure when he looks at other girls
Q. Hey So my boyfriend lives a long way away and he travels up to see me every weekend nearly, and im so in love with him. there was one night at the pub when this girl he knew came in with his step sister, and he'd had alot to drink but he jus...
A. 29 August 2011: Hmmm well what he did initially was wrong and disrespectful to you; im inclined to think gawking at people who you pass in the street is similarly bad form. People notice attractive people but that is no excuse to leer, leering is something apart ... (read in full...)
Do I believe my boyfriend or my friends who claim he cheats, and they hate him for it?
Q. What should i do with my boyfriend who my friends hate?! I have a boyfriend who my 8 best friends don't really like. They have heard numerous rumors about him cheating on me and texting girls weird things in the past 7 months that we have been dati...
A. 28 August 2011: Well I tend to operate on the belief that innocent until proven guilty is the best and most just way to approach most issues. Taking that as the starting point, i'd say you don't have much to convict on. Your friends are biased because they don't ... (read in full...)
I told him I didn't want him to go out with another girl alone but he went anyway!
Q. Hi, I have a bit of a problem. I have been dating my boyfriend for six months now and have known him for almost two years before we started dating. I don't have trust issues with him, I know he would never cheat on me. My problem is the other night ...
A. 28 August 2011: Glad it got resolved, your very welcome :)... (read in full...)
I told him I didn't want him to go out with another girl alone but he went anyway!
Q. Hi, I have a bit of a problem. I have been dating my boyfriend for six months now and have known him for almost two years before we started dating. I don't have trust issues with him, I know he would never cheat on me. My problem is the other night ...
A. 27 August 2011: I am dubious as to whether your entitled to feel like this to be honest and that's not for the reason Chi outlines, lack of understanding, but its more a feeling this is crossing a line into a controlling zone. He shouldn't have disrespected your ... (read in full...)
I need to choose between a guy who's intense and one who's easy going but without the strong connection
Q. I'm 5 months out of a 6 year engagement and I moved to a new city to spend some time with myself and meet new men. I met one and have been dating him "B" for 3 months now, but he's been very intense, wanting to be exclusive and committed, can be ...
A. 27 August 2011: Incidentally, a quick addendum, I think your past is also significant here, did you really get out of this engagement just to settle straight back down again with a guy like C? I rather think not; even if B doesn't last forever, hes the right one ... (read in full...)
I need to choose between a guy who's intense and one who's easy going but without the strong connection
Q. I'm 5 months out of a 6 year engagement and I moved to a new city to spend some time with myself and meet new men. I met one and have been dating him "B" for 3 months now, but he's been very intense, wanting to be exclusive and committed, can be ...
A. 27 August 2011: This sounds like an almost classic head v heart clash. In most instances you should, contrary to popular belief, go with your heart because it sees what you want much clearer than your head. So it is here, i'd say you obviously need the intensity B ... (read in full...)
Isn't grinding disrespectful? Or is it just dancing?
Q. Ok, so I have been dating my girlfriend for about a 2 months now. Im 24 shes 21. I like her alot. Thats why its hard for me to just bail. Been through a couple of em to find this one. Well anyway here's the problem. Ok so we started to talking ...
A. 26 August 2011: Hmmmm I am a bit divided on this one. I can see your point, grinding is overtly sexual, in fact, it mimics sexual rhythms so I am not entirely unsympathetic to your point of view. Would I be happy if I saw my partner grind other guys? I would ... (read in full...)
How many lies are too much?
Q. Can anyone give me some advice from a non bias view point. I wanted to ask because my partner or ex now tells me im taking things the wrong way and he's so convincing about it i dont know if i am or not. We are long distance at the moment and h...
A. 24 August 2011: Anon, Dont let him grind you down, you deserve better. Good luck :)... (read in full...)
Why is he giving his ex the time of day?
Q. I need a second opinion preferably from a guys point of view because i personally don't know how to react to this. So here goes my boyfriend and i are very much in love we have just got our own place and ready to move in and start our life togethe...
A. 24 August 2011: My initial question is 'what has he been texting her back'? If he's been encouraging her in any way, shape or form, then you have every right to be upset and lay down the law on this BUT if he has been avoiding her comments like that or flatly ... (read in full...)
Will he ever be in love with me?
Q. Joseph and I dated a while ago, from January to March. That was his first real relationship and his longest. Since then, we haven't been seeing each other and are still involved on a more than friendly level. The last time I asked him when we were ...
A. 23 August 2011: Well when he says relationships bring hurt and distraction it sounds like he3 speaks from experience and it seems to me that is what is causing him to be hesitant, it sounds like he has been burnt before and is still dealing with that. It sounds ... (read in full...)
How many lies are too much?
Q. Can anyone give me some advice from a non bias view point. I wanted to ask because my partner or ex now tells me im taking things the wrong way and he's so convincing about it i dont know if i am or not. We are long distance at the moment and h...
A. 22 August 2011: Hmmm well I have to say lieing about the classes is rather random because there is no immediate reason to do it that I can see, unless he is a compulsive liar, which is possible given the other stuff. I am at a loss as to how else you can take those ... (read in full...)
How do I deal with this hurt?
Q. basically I've been a terrible person. I have a boyfriend of a few years years "jake" and i met another guy at the end of last year "mike" (yes we all know whats coming next) well i fell head heels for mike but didn't want to hurt jake so i just ...
A. 21 August 2011: Well, I think you need to stop beating yourself up because that is fogging your head and making doing something or dealing a bit harder. You made a mistake, you recognise that too your credit. Many in your position wouldn't even go that far so give ... (read in full...)
Am I being too hard on myself? What can I do to accept this situation I'm in?
Q. I consider myself some who isn't dependant on having a relationship, but rather someone who is happier in a relationship. My ex girlfriend of 6 months is much the same as me, however, unlike me, she got involved in a new relationship just weeks ...
A. 20 August 2011: I think that is exactly the right attitude to have, although it will be hard sometimes, I am sure you will get through. Good luck :)... (read in full...)
I'm not sexually attracted to my fiance...Should I break off this engagement?
Q. i have been dating my fiance for four years, i am 20 yrs old and i have been with him since i was 16. We had a very healthy relatonship, for a very long time. on our three yr anniversary we moved into an apartment together for the first time, an...
A. 19 August 2011: I dont think this is just a phase. I think this relationship has reached its natural end and everything that is happening to you, the lack of attraction to him, the attraction to this new guy to the point where you were obviously a whisker away from ... (read in full...)
Am I being too hard on myself? What can I do to accept this situation I'm in?
Q. I consider myself some who isn't dependant on having a relationship, but rather someone who is happier in a relationship. My ex girlfriend of 6 months is much the same as me, however, unlike me, she got involved in a new relationship just weeks ...
A. 19 August 2011: I dont think its cowardly at all, its natural to a large degree. I think the trick then is to simply say 'what will be, will be' and see how it goes but you need to adopt that attitude to any new relationship as well, I tend to find, no matter what ... (read in full...)
How do I fix this?
Q. My boyfriends family dont have that much money (well they didnt before but do now) and my family have been always been comfortable lets say. I am use to giving and receiving big gifts at birthdays. My boyfriend has a very good job and big savings so ...
A. 18 August 2011: My experience is that if you come from a background of not having much money and maybe having to scrape by, even when you come into it, your previous experience frames how you think. Just as your previous experience has framed yours, you have been ... (read in full...)
Am I being too hard on myself? What can I do to accept this situation I'm in?
Q. I consider myself some who isn't dependant on having a relationship, but rather someone who is happier in a relationship. My ex girlfriend of 6 months is much the same as me, however, unlike me, she got involved in a new relationship just weeks ...
A. 18 August 2011: In that case I would say largely yes it's a question of time and being a bit less hard on yourself. Asking how long it takes to recover from what obviously was a painful break-up is a bit like asking how long is a piece of string, there is no ... (read in full...)
Close friend got drunk and we made out and now she's cool to me
Q. I have a really close friend who I have known for a really long time. Last night she got quite drunk and we ended up kissing and pleasuring each other to orgasm. It is common knowledge that I am bisexual however she thought she was straight. We have ...
A. 17 August 2011: Well I would say this experience has probably turned your friends world upside down. She 'thought she was straight'and not things are obviously not so clear cut, its a tumultuous experience when something you were sure of becomes something events ... (read in full...)
Am I being too hard on myself? What can I do to accept this situation I'm in?
Q. I consider myself some who isn't dependant on having a relationship, but rather someone who is happier in a relationship. My ex girlfriend of 6 months is much the same as me, however, unlike me, she got involved in a new relationship just weeks ...
A. 16 August 2011: Well I think that explains something because you obviously still cared for her and the end was kind of imposed on you by outside circumstances. Your doubts about her honesty are understandable give the rapidity of her entrance into a new ... (read in full...)
His partner died 9 years ago, is it still healthy that he's grieving over him?
Q. Hi I am in a relationship with a guy for the last two years and we live together for the last 6 months, my partner had a partner who died 9 years ago and they were together for 18 years and were very happy My partner is very close with his partner...
A. 16 August 2011: Annalisa makes very good points. The thing is that he obviously loved his ex and you cant change that, nor really should you seek too if you love him, because it doesnt mean he doesnt love you at all. I think you have to start accepting this to be ... (read in full...)
Why is he asking me this question?
Q. A quick question for everyone. I have a school age daughter who has learning disabilities and needs extra lessons at home. Why would my married male friend ask me if I have to stay with her when she has her lessons? Why would he be interested in...
A. 15 August 2011: I dont know you know, I can imagine asking that question in the course of perfectly innocent conversation. He isn't necessarily inquiring over your availability is he? I guess it depends on the context of what he said, but I would be weary of ... (read in full...)
Am I being too hard on myself? What can I do to accept this situation I'm in?
Q. I consider myself some who isn't dependant on having a relationship, but rather someone who is happier in a relationship. My ex girlfriend of 6 months is much the same as me, however, unlike me, she got involved in a new relationship just weeks ...
A. 15 August 2011: Your welcome :)
I wonder how did the relationship end? Is it possible that you have issue unresolved concerning that? Something seems to have you effected you badly about this relationship and maybe that is why your finding it so hard to move on?... (read in full...)
Am I being too hard on myself? What can I do to accept this situation I'm in?
Q. I consider myself some who isn't dependant on having a relationship, but rather someone who is happier in a relationship. My ex girlfriend of 6 months is much the same as me, however, unlike me, she got involved in a new relationship just weeks ...
A. 12 August 2011: The odds are what people are telling you is right, unless she was doing things behind your back, she's in a rebound relationship which is highly unlikely to last. Having said that, I feel your pain, because I am in a pretty similar boat. My ex has a ... (read in full...)
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