A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hi people what is going on here im so confused and i really need your help i met a man at the beginning of the year called Z we dated for 9 weeks when we met then all of a sudden he just wanted sex and nothing more.he was with someone for years and she cheated on him so i understand he must of been very hurt.I've also been cheated on but i just want to know how he feels about me I've told him how i feel about him but he didnt say anything we see each other maybe every 3 weeks maybe longer and its not just for sex. we have takeaways together watch dvds together sometimes he will just cuddle me.He calls me sexy and babe ive asked him to have a night out with me but he always says hes busy hes got 2 jobs.I see him about as we live a minute away from each other. he always stares at me and texts me loads of kisses and says how sexy i am i told him i was thinking of moving but he persuaded me to stay i don,t know what he wants im so confused its all i think of all day i really need help with this thank you
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (13 August 2011):
 my bf never texts me kisses or hugs
he never says he loves me
we currently live 90 miles apart and he sees me every chance he gets...
he does not call me sexy or babe but I know where i stand with him...
my point? this man that you WANT to be your boyfriend is not making an effort to do so. He is not interested in you other than a booty call and you know it. and yet you persist in trying to see glimmers of hope in texts that mean nothing...
Actions speak louder than words... sending you sexy texts just makes you melt and spread your legs for him...
I say to my BF I want to go out to dinner and poof out we go... even if he worked all day and he is tired...
YOU DO KNOW what he wants what you want from us is a way to make him want what you want... and sadly that's not going to happen.
A
female
reader, angelDlite +, writes (13 August 2011):
 you are looking at the wrong points here - you are more impressed with the fact that he puts loads of kisses on his texts, stares at you, calls you sexy babe. you are failing to see that he lives one minute away but only sees you every few weeks and refuses to take you out anywhere. of course he doesn't want you to move away coz that would mean he would lose his booty call.
so what if he's been cheated on? so have you but you don't believe it gives you the licence to treat someone else like shit. you have known him since January, he knows how you feel about him and that you want more, he is not giving you what you want so i think you need to stop giving him what he wants. you need to think very carefully about what you are getting out of this situation. don't be used!
x
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A
female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (13 August 2011):
What to do? Well first off: hold off on sex!
From this POV it seems like he's just using you. His past experiences don't give him the right to just string you along. It seems he only put in the effort until you gave him what he wanted (=sex). Once he realized he could get some without having to treat you like a gf he stopped doing it. The texts and the things he calls you seem to confirm this: he never talks about love, and only remarks about how sexy you are.
If you stop giving him what he wants and start demanding some answers you'll get to know the truth soon enough. Beware though, he may treat you well for another few weeks in hopes of getting back to the sex arrangement he'd set up for himself.
So, don't have sex with him for a month or more. This may sound like a long time, but it's the best way to test whether he's being serious or not. If he's not serious about the relationship, he'll drop you and go looking for someone else who will give it away at a bargain. And then you'll know he's not worth your time.
Remember, you're the one in charge here, not him. Do not let him manipulate your feelings to use you.
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A
male
reader, Daniel the love doctor +, writes (13 August 2011):
 Ask him to give you a reason to stay. Tell him that you're not looking for just a sexual relationship with him, you want something more. If he can't give you that, then you're better off just being friends, and you're just going to have to move on.
Tell him again how much you like him, and find out how feels about you. Communicate! :^)
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