A
female
age
41-50,
*ennaHB
writes:I am 28 and I only had sex with one man (we had a short relationship when I was 23 - he was 50). He broke my heart very bad. I haven't been able to be in a relationship ever since, just online flirting which turned out it lead to nothing serious. What is wrong with me? I don't want to die ugly and alone in a house full of cats.(and I don't even like cats!)
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male
reader, soul83  +, writes (14 August 2011):
I agree with the others. If you have been recently hurt, then it's difficult to move on. After all the turmoil of my relationship and even after getting married, it looks like my partner has decided to end it. She was my first also. Lucky you don't have to go through the suffering of divorce. I'm the same age as you and I am also thinking it's going to be scary to have to forget 2 years of the only good thing you had in your life.
I was looking out at the horizon tonight and just trying to imagine what it would be like to repeat all the things I have done but with another girl. It brings me to tears even now because I can't imagine life without my wife. Yet she has made it impossible for me to trust her in the future - I cannot guarantee that her love for me is genuine anymore. That fundamental breach of trust is bad enough to make me want to never have a future with her...
Keep strong and I'm sure you will find Mr. Right ;)
A
male
reader, MikeEa1 +, writes (14 August 2011):
 don't feel alone. everyone including me asks themselves this question. my brother didn't have a girlfiend till he was 40, then he married the most beautiful girl in the world. some people go from one to the next to the next. some people wait 1/2 a lifetime to find the right one. whichever way it goes and you are only young you will get what you want when you try hard enough. by the way I felt just like you at your age, now I've got nothing to complain about.
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A
male
reader, mrg123  +, writes (14 August 2011):
 Nothing is wrong with you at all. If you put your hand in a flame and get burnt, people usually aren't that keen to repeat the experience and that is simply what is happening with you. You got burned and are understandably reluctant to risk the thing that looks distinctly flame-like. I think its really important here you do give yourself time, as other people have said, beating down on yourself, wondering if you will always be alone, and pressuring yourself to go too quick will likely see you put yourself in another situation which is going to lead to yet more heartache. Flirting online is a way to feel safer, keep people at arms length. Your last relationship involved a significant age gap, that lends me to feel that the real questions you need to be asking yourself is 'what am I looking for in a relationship' and 'why am I looking for this'. I think these are now the key questions you need to answer now; when you have answered them, I think you will be ready to go out and find somebody again - your 28 after all, if you live an average life span, that gives you another 40 odd years at the least to find somebody and avoid the cat house. That is a long time in anybodies book (its actually 12 more years than your life span up till this point). Dont worry, feel comfortable with yourself, and in time that special somebody will come, I am sure. Good luck :)
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A
female
reader, Tbosse  +, writes (14 August 2011):
 Forgive yoself for the 'ugly past'...put up the smile and move on.there ar stil good men out there,waiting for you! goodluck
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A
female
reader, angelDlite +, writes (14 August 2011):
 i think you have become jaded and disenchanted by your past experiences - firstly losing your virginity to a much older man who probably manipulated you to get what he wanted and now for the last few years you have spent your time in the relative safety of online flirting where you never really have to put yourself out there and risk being hurt again. online people can pretend to be what they are not, you will find it VERY difficult to meet anyone genuine online so i would suggest come out of your comfort zone - get yourself OUTSIDE with friends, socialise and meet men in the real world instead. go on dates. yes you'll still meet idiots but you will just have to keep your wits about you and get rid of them at the first sign of trouble (red flags) educate yourself about the sort of men to NOT give a chance to, i have read a good book and i think you might benefit from it 'how to spot a dangerous man before you get involved' by sandra L brown. shows you the warning signs to look out for and may save you the heartache of learning about predator-men, the hard way!x
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