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| | *o_Very_Confused's profile:I've got the life experience to be wise for others, not so wise for myself. A degree in psych doesn't hurt either. So when I respond to people while I may just give advice, I'm more inclined to ask you questions that make you think and make you HURT and figure out what to do....
Choices I make are made on years of experience and may not be the best choices for YOU but what I do and what I advise may be two different things. Like I've said I KNOW what's the BEST thing to do and do not always choose to do what's BEST for me.
My primary interests include age gap relationships where the woman is older than the man... I am 13 years older than my future husband... I am also currently very interested in 12 step programs and addiction and recovery
and Long distance relationships...
I also understand alternative lifestyles as I was a "swinger" in my last marriage and I am a bisexual woman although currently I am just with my one male partner by choice...
NEVER STAY WHERE YOU ARE UNHAPPY NO MATTER WHAT. DO not make the same mistakes I made.
Rules:
IF YOU HAVE AN UNEASY FEELING IT'S FOR A GOOD REASON.. listen to that little voice
NEVER EVER trust a liar. IF they lied once, they could lie again. IF you dont' trust them there's a reason for it. LISTEN to it.
IF you have to ASK if you should leave... just do it.
We don't know WHY someone did something... only why WE would do it... so you have to ASK THEM.
IF you are afraid to ASK your PARTNER anything.. it's not a good relationship and you should probably end it.
IF he only calls when he's horny at 2 am you are a booty call nothing more....
Old cliches:
Women need a reason to have sex; men just need a place
Do as I say not as I do |
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| Latest articles: How to get many answers to your question.
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
25 November 2012: So many times folks submit good questions but, get few answers. It's very frustrating to have an important topic you need advice on and not be able to get it. While talking with friends is easy to get to what you need, asking in written form can...
Am I Co-Dependent?
No replies yet... 24 October 2012: So often folks will ask "am I co-dependent" or will label someone "co-dependent" There was a period of time that it was the "popular" diagnosis of mental health disorders. I often wondered if I myself was co-dependent. I read many books ...
Is my Long Distance Relationship worth it?
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
6 December 2011: Being in a relationship where you have regular face to face contact is difficult enough. Being in a Long Distance Relationship (LDR) is more difficult. Local Relationships (LRs) require a few things; Honesty, Trust, Commitment, and ...
How you can tell someone loves you
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
23 November 2011: So many times we see folks here saying "I know he loves me he tells me he does all the time" “But” I want to scream, “but how does he SHOW you he loves you” because I learned that WORDS without ACTIONS are meaningless. A partner that says “I lo...
Who is a Natural flirt? And what qualities signify a Natural Flirt?
This question has 24 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 September 2011: Today as I was leaving work and walking to my car, I passed, going in the opposite direction a co-worker who I *barely* know who was walking with another man. He is a tall, attractive man with an engaging smile and bright eyes. He's 10-15-maybe 20 ...
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I need advice on how to keep this going, and how do I develop a serious relationship?
Q. Okay, so I am like, really confused. I'm going into the 9th grade, which will make me a freshman and my boyfriend a sophomore. This is the second time that we've dated, the last time it was for 5 days shy of 2 months and I had no idea what I did ...
A. 7 June 2013: having folks "stalk him" was bad. in fact, while friends are a lovely sounding board for when you want to work things out or vent, INVOLVING them in your relationships is NEVER wise.
his complaints that you were flirting with other guys... well... (read in full...)
Is it rude to ask someone about a scar?
Q. Is it rude to ask about a scar? I've had a tummy tuck and lost 20ilbs. after. I am happy with my physique now and enjoy wearing bikinis. I had a friend ask me the other day about a 1inch scar from the surgery. I just mentioned I had ...
A. 5 June 2013: OP there is an old rule about telling someone when there is a problem (your slip is showing, there is a run in your stockings) and that is “can they FIX IT right AWAY?” if so (the slip showing) then TELL THEM. IF NOT, (run in your ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend of 6 years has been sexting a married woman!
Q. I have been with my bf for 6 years. I have found out he's sexting a married woman. He did some work at her house a couple of months ago and a short while after he started messaging her. She responded and they seemed intimate. He texted intimate ...
A. 4 June 2013: I guess it's how you define cheating.
My husband and I talked about this as I am an outrageous natural flirt.... and in our home we define cheating as
anything you can't won't or don't tell your partner.
In addition, I married at 21 an... (read in full...)
How do I get the OK for hormone therapy?
Q. I am a male who is able pass as a female when dressed as such. I have always been naturally feminine and have been mistaken as a girl dressed as a guy. Two years ago I decided to go female full time. Since then I had a little facial feminization ...
A. 4 June 2013: if you want the surgery then you do feel female in a male body... and I do think a second opinion with a new therapist may be in order.... (read in full...)
I love my wife but am sexually frustrated!
Q. Been married for 09 years. Living in a conservative society, but independent. Sex doesn't feel great anymore. Used to be crazy like rabbits first year into marriage, but faded with time to the extent now i'm thinking about an extramarital affair ...
A. 4 June 2013: The fact that you could NOT perform does NOT take away from your ATTEMPTS and your intent.
You still made the choice to go after call girls and disregard marital vows and promises.
YOUR choice.
the solution is for you to OWN your... (read in full...)
I need advice on how to keep this going, and how do I develop a serious relationship?
Q. Okay, so I am like, really confused. I'm going into the 9th grade, which will make me a freshman and my boyfriend a sophomore. This is the second time that we've dated, the last time it was for 5 days shy of 2 months and I had no idea what I did ...
A. 4 June 2013: Dear really confused teenage girl,
I am going to try very hard to remember just how much in love I could feel at your age. Sadly I remember just how much of a drama queen I was then too. It’s part and parcel of being a teen girl.
I will ... (read in full...)
Why is he fighting me? I tried to convince him but he told me we can't be together.
Q. I met a guy in August 2012. At first we were kind of friends but later on we became so close. He told me he loved meand wanted me to move with him. Because i had family situations i said to him i would love to move with him when i can. We kept...
A. 4 June 2013: You met a guy in August of 2012. Is this someone who lives locally to you or within an hour or two drive time?
You say that you wanted to move with him… do you meant move TO HIM? To be with him, that he does not live near you?
You sai... (read in full...)
Unwanted feelings of jealousy.
Q. Recently i was at a party, where i noticed a girl flirting with me. Now, i am in a happy and good relationship, so ignored it all, thinking all the time to ignore cause i love my girlfriend very much. After some time i saw her hooking up with ...
A. 4 June 2013: you felt JEALOUS.... not sure that's what it was to be honest..
I think what you felt was regret over the lost potential.
I do not think you need to tell your gf about feelings that are not related to her unless you feel that this changes h... (read in full...)
Do you think he's ignoring me because I refused his marriage proposal?
Q. Hello, I am going to try to keep this short. So there's this guy. November last he asked for my hand in marriage with my bro in law. i did not know the boy then. I had never seen him. However, since my parents want me to pursue my further edu...
A. 4 June 2013: let me get this straight (since you asked me for advice specifically)
In november a boy you did not know that did not know you asked your brother in law to marry you and your parents said no.
I don't quite understand this... are arranged... (read in full...)
I'm in panic mode and wondering what I can do to turn this around!
Q. I am in panic mode, I met a man on line whom I love greatly. We have been spending each weekend together, he has spent time with my son and myself and I have met his family, but unfortunately I keep having insecurity issues because he is a huge ...
A. 4 June 2013: Well there's flirting and then there is FLIRTING.
I'm a HUGE flirt. My husband is not. I will make eye contact and smile and maybe say something that is overtly sexually teasing but I have NO INTENT to follow through on my flirtations and the ... (read in full...)
Am I over reacting, not getting ANYTHING for mother's day?
Q. I am the mother of two small children, four and two and this year for mother's day I didn't get anything from anyone. No one in my family and my bf of four years, the father of my children, didn't get me anything either. No card, no flowers, ...
A. 4 June 2013: wait wait wait... he's done stuff for you BEFORE for mothers day but SUDDENLY this year he did NOTHING... and did not discuss why?
that my dear is an issue and a red flag to me.... (read in full...)
Are my feelings for my sensei unprofessional?
Q. This is real awkward but im not sure. I go to this dojo where i live and i train with a guy sensei. He's really nice and great with everyone and i cant help liking him. Not just like student-teacher but like best friends. He's pretty much the ...
A. 4 June 2013: it's hormones and it's a crush and it's normal and it's fine to have a crush and have admiration.
As you mature and grow you will learn that having crushes on folks you work with is not bad nor abnormal. What makes them bad or abnormal or ... (read in full...)
How do I get the OK for hormone therapy?
Q. I am a male who is able pass as a female when dressed as such. I have always been naturally feminine and have been mistaken as a girl dressed as a guy. Two years ago I decided to go female full time. Since then I had a little facial feminization ...
A. 4 June 2013: I would consider finding a different therapist for a second evaluation if you feel the first evaluation was incorrect.
HOWEVER, my understanding is that if you don't feel like a female trapped in a male body but rather as a male that wishes t... (read in full...)
My boyfriend of 6 years has been sexting a married woman!
Q. I have been with my bf for 6 years. I have found out he's sexting a married woman. He did some work at her house a couple of months ago and a short while after he started messaging her. She responded and they seemed intimate. He texted intimate ...
A. 4 June 2013: OP you are correct, if you were both in relationships with others and left former partners to be together, then he has a history of cheating and lying and leaving for greener pastures and you should not be SHOCKED that this has happened.
you... (read in full...)
I love my wife but am sexually frustrated!
Q. Been married for 09 years. Living in a conservative society, but independent. Sex doesn't feel great anymore. Used to be crazy like rabbits first year into marriage, but faded with time to the extent now i'm thinking about an extramarital affair ...
A. 4 June 2013: I am sorry OP but you are incorrect in your assumption that your CHOICE to visit a call girl (or multiple “girls”) was FORCED unless someone held a gun to your head and said “DO THIS OR I WILL KILL YOU”… if no one forced you, then it was YOUR ... (read in full...)
Is it rude to ask someone about a scar?
Q. Is it rude to ask about a scar? I've had a tummy tuck and lost 20ilbs. after. I am happy with my physique now and enjoy wearing bikinis. I had a friend ask me the other day about a 1inch scar from the surgery. I just mentioned I had ...
A. 4 June 2013: OP I've had massive body restoration and have never had any negative responses... can you elaborate on what you mean by negative?
I'm wondering how much of it is your mindset since I was THRILLED and PROUD to be having my reconstructi... (read in full...)
I'm not having sex till I get married. Why do so many friends criticise me for this?
Q. I'm a girl, at university and I've decided I'm not having sex till I get married. I'm Christian, but that's actually not the reason why - I'm really liberal and fully in support of gay marriage/pro-choice etc. It's because sex means a lot to me ...
A. 3 June 2013: what I want to know is why your friends even know about such a personal decision?
if you have made a choice then it's not open for debate or discussion, it's PERSONAL and your friends should not even KNOW about it.... (read in full...)
My friend dropped me...and now is trying to get back in my life!
Q. Three years ago when my former best friend got engaged, she dropped me like I was nothing. Now, everything has turned around for me and she's reared her ugly head trying to be friends with me again. How would you handle this? For some backg...
A. 3 June 2013: Email her back and say something like
"I'm flattered that you want to be part of my life again but I've changed a lot and do not think a renewed friendship with you fits into my life now." "I wish you all the success in your life as you ... (read in full...)
Friends say he just wants sex but he told me he won't mistreat me.
Q. There is a guy I have been talking to who I met through my friend for about 5 months, he's really nice and a gent at times, however yesterday me and my friend were talking and he came up in conversation and she said not to go for him (as in date) as ...
A. 3 June 2013: Just because a man does not mistreat you, does not mean he sees you as more than a FWB.
If you want to DATE HIM (not sleep with him) then do so.
Listen to his ACTIONS not his words.
and remember people can enjoy sex with someone and n... (read in full...)
Is dating him worth the challenge?
Q. I'm getting to know this guy, and we are getting along well. I like the fact that he is mature and romantic. But I feel that maybe things might not work out, since he is a divirced dad that has full custody of his 3 year old and I'm 19 and he is 28. ...
A. 3 June 2013: so you like him
he likes you
he has full custody of a small child and
BECAUSE things MIGHT not go well, you are thinking of ending it even though you don't mind that he's divorced, with a small child that he has custody of.
Honey my hu... (read in full...)
My girlfriend gives excuses not to have sex and I'm running out of ideas!
Q. So my girlfriend and I have been together for three years and I can honestly say that we are in love. However in the recent few months our relationship has changed... We have stopped having sex.. My girlfriend no longer wishes to have sex with me. ...
A. 3 June 2013: this stuck out for me "then stated that contraception was not her responsibility."
UMMM NO it's both parties
then she says she does not like lube
she accuses you of cheating.
she does not want sex.
i'd be considering ending the... (read in full...)
Do you think this widow would take it well if I ask her out for a drink or a pizza?
Q. There is a widow of 2 years that i really like. We are friends and sometimes my stupidity make me over-do things with her. But i try to make her laugh and try to be as casual as possible and i think she responds well frankly. I really don't ...
A. 3 June 2013: if you and your WIFE want to spend time with her that's GREAT...
but if you want to ask he rout for drinks and pizza and start an affair with her I hope she laughs in your face.
either you are married and she is friends with you and you... (read in full...)
I love my wife but am sexually frustrated!
Q. Been married for 09 years. Living in a conservative society, but independent. Sex doesn't feel great anymore. Used to be crazy like rabbits first year into marriage, but faded with time to the extent now i'm thinking about an extramarital affair ...
A. 3 June 2013: Have you talked to your wife about this? IF not that's your first step.
are there small children in the home? that can wear a woman out if she's running a home and caring for the kids.
Recently my husband and I have been going throu... (read in full...)
I'm ready to have sex. How do I tell my parents?
Q. I am 17 and I am a virgin. Well my parents have always been very conservative on matters of sex. I used to wear a purity ring (my parents kind of pressured me into vowing abstinence). I was on vacation and lost my ring while swimming in the ocean. I ...
A. 3 June 2013: I personally do not think it's necessary to TELL your parents when you are ready to have sex.
If they ask if you are a virgin and you are not, then you should tell the truth but I don't see the need to volunteer information to them.
I... (read in full...)
I'm hurting, in our 3 years he's cheated on me more than 5 times! How to prevent him from cheating again?
Q. im currently in a relationship of 3 years and since we have been together my boy friend has cheated on me more than 5 time, and he just repeated now so I just don't know what to do! and he keeps on saying he loves me when I dump him... so how do I ...
A. 3 June 2013: There is NOTHING you can do to make him stop cheating.
he's not a very good boyfriend and he does NOT love you.
he will ALWAYS cheat on you.
you have two choices:
1. accept that he's a liar and a cheater and he puts you at risk and sa... (read in full...)
Our moral values don't match because my girlfriend has no compassion towards suffering.
Q. I had a conversation with my girlfriend today about how I was upset about other people getting unfairly hurt due to no fault of their own, people being homeless and such and she told me that people who care about others are stupid and that people ...
A. 3 June 2013: Part of dating is finding a person who is compatible with you.
If your moral compass does not match hers then your compatibility is lower.
If for example later in life you marry her and want to tithe 10% of your income to charity and sh... (read in full...)
Am I over reacting, not getting ANYTHING for mother's day?
Q. I am the mother of two small children, four and two and this year for mother's day I didn't get anything from anyone. No one in my family and my bf of four years, the father of my children, didn't get me anything either. No card, no flowers, ...
A. 3 June 2013: My husband said to me at the beginning of May “I are NOT doing anything for mother’s day for you.” And I said “of course your aren’t. I’m not your mother, I am not the mother of your children (he has none) and you are not the father of my ... (read in full...)
Fried Chicken was my birthday gift:(
Q. I have been dating this guy for nearly six months. Things have not gone so smoothly, but we worked through our differences and we both like each other a great deal. My birthday was last week and as a gift, he brought me a big bag of fried chicken...
A. 3 June 2013: I suck at gift giving. I usually ask my husband "what do you want for your birthday" and get him that. I keep a list on Amazon (my wish list) and just send him that when it's gift giving time.
at least you got a gift... it may not have bee... (read in full...)
My husband seems to be too flirty with his male friend. Am I being totally crazy?
Q. I need some advice, I need to know if I am overreacting. Me and my husband have been married for a year and have a 1 year old. My husband has this male friend, my husband self employed and this friend sets up work for him. This friend has a ...
A. 3 June 2013: I don't think he's being flirty with his friend, they are business associates and friends...
I think your concern that you are only having sex once a month is coloring your feelings.
If the sex was good till the baby was born, then it's... (read in full...)
Does this sound like my boyfriend was molested by his dad?
Q. I think my boyfriend was molested as a child. The even crazier thing is I suspect it was by his own parents. The first time I thought something was weird was because he told me he knew about sexual acts at a very pre mature age. He said when he was ...
A. 3 June 2013: Ya know as a kid I remember lots of things that I'm sure if you asked my parents, happened differently to them then it did to me.
I sense you are seeking to find an explanation for something going on in real life now with him. If so, that's o... (read in full...)
My irrational fear of getting pregnant is stopping me from meeting guys.
Q. Hi there, i'm sure this seems like a really stupid question but i just need some calming advice. I'm 22, still a virgin and only kissed a couple of guys. I dont have a problem with any of this however my problem is i have an irrational fear of ...
A. 3 June 2013: If you are on BC and are aware of how irrational your fears are, then I strongly suggest some therapy to work on it to help you overcome this.
You may find it hard to find a doctor willing to permanently sterilize you at your age (and that wo... (read in full...)
Should I tell him about my older sister? Or is it too soon?
Q. I have been dating my boyfriend for a month now,we are exclusive and it was love for him from the very start and he has expressed quite a number of times both thru words and actions how he feels for me,I haven't told him those three 'magic words' ...
A. 3 June 2013: Why does your sister's behavior have any bearing on your relationship?
why is what your sister did something about YOU?
... (read in full...)
She's not talking to me since I called her out for seeing a married man! I did it because it was unfair for her to put me on 'hold'!
Q. A girl that i like and i thought she liked me are not talking right now over a silly argument. It turns out the argument was an excuse to put me on "punishment" because i found out she is seeing a married man with a child. the child and wife don...
A. 3 June 2013: Legally separated has NO BEARING on what he tells his wife or his girlfriend. It's a legal matter and what he says or does has no bearing on it.
For example, in the state I live in, there is no such thing as a legal separation. In my crazy sta... (read in full...)
She seems to be getting less sexual over time
Q. Hi agony aunts :) So, I'm having a sex issue. My girlfriend and I have been together for 13 months, she lives 4 hours away. We've met twice, and have had sex. In the beginning of our relationship, my girlfriend was very...sexual. She talked about ...
A. 3 June 2013: 13 months together and only 4 hours apart and you've only seen each other twice?
Let's start with this is not a real relationship.
I admit that 4 hours apart is not "drive every weekend" length, although I would do 3 hours and I did a 2 ho... (read in full...)
How do I convince him to throw his clothes into a bag & jump on a bus bound up this way?
Q. It was 33 years ago that I was told that my first "great" love had been killed by his father. Well, I found him and he still sends butterflies fluttering around my heart! Problem is that he still lives in our home state and I live over 15 hour ...
A. 3 June 2013: Who and what you were 33 years ago is no longer who you are now. Same for him. Before you two figure out who’s moving, you have to figure out if there’s even anything worth moving for.
If you are not willing to move and he’s not willing to move... (read in full...)
She's not talking to me since I called her out for seeing a married man! I did it because it was unfair for her to put me on 'hold'!
Q. A girl that i like and i thought she liked me are not talking right now over a silly argument. It turns out the argument was an excuse to put me on "punishment" because i found out she is seeing a married man with a child. the child and wife don...
A. 3 June 2013: Ok what am I missing here aunties… she’s seeing a man who is separated not living with his wife and child. IF he is legally separated (available in most states) then there is no issue with him dating to be honest…
IF he has been open and hone... (read in full...)
I'd rather date an older guy than someone my own age, but do I have no chance?
Q. I'm at university, turned 19 a few months ago, and won't graduate for a few more years but I just find guys like that irresistibly more attractive even though I know most of them will probably be looking for girls around their age. I don't like ...
A. 3 June 2013: IF you are 19 and want to date boys that are 21-25 I don't see that as much of a gap.
I can tell you that some 21 year old boys are more stable and looking for a serious relationship than lots of 27-30 yr old boys....
(boy being used f... (read in full...)
Why do I have to be his secret? He won't tell his family about me!
Q. So my boyfriend is 25 years older than me, we've been together for 4 months, we're happy age is not a problem, my problem is the fact he won't tell his ex wife or his kids! When we started seein each other we always said my mum would be the problem ...
A. 3 June 2013: I would be very upset too at being made to hide like a dirty secret when a family member came to visit.
He is either close to 50 or already 50 and his children are if not already grown close to it....
IF she is fully an EX wife and not just... (read in full...)
Younger boyfriend isn't sure about us because I have experienced things he hasn't
Q. My boyfriend is eleven years younger than me. Im 37 and he's 26, he's never had kids, had a long term relationship or lived w anyone. I, on the other hand, have been married, have 2 kids from 2 different fathers. He tells me he feels like its ...
A. 3 June 2013: Well I have to say for me age gaps are fine IF both parties are over 30.
I have had several promising relationships in the past end when the younger male partner wanted children and I was no longer able to have any. This was (and rightfully s... (read in full...)
Is it rude to ask someone about a scar?
Q. Is it rude to ask about a scar? I've had a tummy tuck and lost 20ilbs. after. I am happy with my physique now and enjoy wearing bikinis. I had a friend ask me the other day about a 1inch scar from the surgery. I just mentioned I had ...
A. 3 June 2013: One of my favorite scenes in a movie is the scene in working girl where they are in bed and she asks about the scar on his chin (harrison ford has a scar on his chin from a woodworking accident when he was 17 that they often incorporate into his ... (read in full...)
My husband's comment about "you women" made me immediately think he's cheating!
Q. I have suspected for months that things have been going on at my husband's place of work although of course he has strongly denied as he really has too much to lose. However, we were about to go to bed for sex the other evening and it was cold so ...
A. 31 May 2013: if you were 18 when you met him and he has an ex wife and an ex long term partner of 5 years.. how much older than you is he?
men of a certain age may have ED and not want to admit it or talk about it....
the other things are circumstantia... (read in full...)
Is being called the other half a good thing?
Q. Is it a good thing if boyfriend refers to you as the other half when he talks to others about plans?...
A. 31 May 2013: Good as in he's being respectful or good as in he considers you his partner?
two different things...two different answers...
it could be worse he could have called you "the old ball and chain"
... (read in full...)
Boyfriend quit his job, I'm the only one working. He's angry because I bought something for myself!
Q. My boyfriend quit his job because he hated it so much. We are in week 7 of him not having a job and I don't feel that he is really making much of an effort to look for one. I am paying his mortgage (my name is not on the house) and the food for the ...
A. 31 May 2013: OK I read the OP's boyfriend's anonymous post.
I like what Cerberus wrote and I stand behind my original statement.
1. quitting your job with out a new job to go to is foolish
2. OP seems to have impulse spending issues.
and what yo... (read in full...)
Suspicious email to husband--he denies he's signed up. Can I believe him?
Q. Dear Cupid, I have a problem. I just got married. I h ave been with my man for a long time. I was looking through his emails and came acroos a email from XXXXbook [mod note: actual site name removed, it is not facebook]. I wouldve just deleted ...
A. 31 May 2013: OP for what it's worth my husband and I believe in total honesty and openness in our marriage.
He can look at my email any time he wants
I can look at his
phones are NOT password protected and accessible either of us at any time.
We have... (read in full...)
Boyfriend quit his job, I'm the only one working. He's angry because I bought something for myself!
Q. My boyfriend quit his job because he hated it so much. We are in week 7 of him not having a job and I don't feel that he is really making much of an effort to look for one. I am paying his mortgage (my name is not on the house) and the food for the ...
A. 31 May 2013: Quitting a job because you do not like it is something 16 yr teenagers do. Grown men with responsibilities work a job they hate till they find one they can at least tolerate.
I assume if you quit you do not get unemployment insurance. ... (read in full...)
Suspicious email to husband--he denies he's signed up. Can I believe him?
Q. Dear Cupid, I have a problem. I just got married. I h ave been with my man for a long time. I was looking through his emails and came acroos a email from XXXXbook [mod note: actual site name removed, it is not facebook]. I wouldve just deleted ...
A. 30 May 2013: He got a welcome email with his username and password (and it's a password he uses regularly)
He said it's spam and you ask if this is possible...
I'm a Computer Security Specialist... there is NOT a shot in HELL it's spam or random.... (read in full...)
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