A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi there, i'm sure this seems like a really stupid question but i just need some calming advice. I'm 22, still a virgin and only kissed a couple of guys. I dont have a problem with any of this however my problem is i have an irrational fear of getting pregnant, which stops me from meeting/getting to know guys. I dont want kids and i think it maybe stems from that but i dont know how to get over it. I am a worrier (as you can tell) but i just need to know if this is something a lot of people go through or is it just me being crazy?
View related questions:
still a virgin Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, shrodingerscat  +, writes (3 June 2013):
 Then you need to seek help from a psychiatrist.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (3 June 2013):
 If you are on BC and are aware of how irrational your fears are, then I strongly suggest some therapy to work on it to help you overcome this.
You may find it hard to find a doctor willing to permanently sterilize you at your age (and that would be a good thing to be honest as sometimes as we age our ideas do change) and I think an IUD for a woman who has not had a pregnancy was in the past not recommended (things may have changed in this respect I can't speak to current IUD rules) but there are implants and other options.
The problem is you are already on chemical/hormonal birth control and still have an irrational fear of pregnancy. That needs to be addressed on an emotional level.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you to everyone who i answered, i have been on birth control for 5 years now. I know that using bc and condoms is the most effective, i just cant seem to understand why i feel this way. I have an 8 year old brother and 2 year old niece who i adore but just can never imagine having my own. I shall have a talk with my doctor about my fears. Thanks :)
...............................
A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (3 June 2013):
Do some form of hormone birth control, have him wear a condom and pull out. 0% chance of pregnancy. Problem solved, now go get some.
...............................
A
female
reader, MsSadie +, writes (3 June 2013):
 Birth control isn't an option? Most guys your age aren't exactly looking to make babies with every girl that they hookup with...As for a long-term relationship, make it clear from the beginning that you don't want to have kids. It's totally possible to find a guy who doesn't want kids (or already has one or more).If your issue with having kids is truly an "irrational fear" as opposed to just a logical objection (I personally don't want to give birth myself either for admittedly selfish reasons but it has nothing to do with fear or anxiety), then I also recommend talking to a professional to find out what the root of that phobia is. See, the thing about phobias is that they are usually indicative of grand problems in multiple facets of the afflicted individual's life.
...............................
A
female
reader, shrodingerscat +, writes (3 June 2013):
If you are aware of how babies are made and how to prevent it, then you have nothing to fear. Since you can't get pregnant from just meeting a man, what's REALLY stopping you?
...............................
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (3 June 2013):
 As long as you are fully versed on human reproduction then there nothing to be feared. Get yourself on a BC pill that is right for you and then make sure you have condoms for your partner in case he "forgot" and you are good to go....or is this a problem on a different level?
...............................
A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (3 June 2013):
 If you are certain you don't want kids, why not look into permanent sterilization? Or if that is not appealing (you think you might change your mind) get an IUD placed. They are VERY effective and if you use both that and a condom, your odds of getting pregnant are extremely low.
On top of that, you don't need to jump into sex, you can wait after meeting someone.
...............................
|
