A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been dating this guy for nearly six months. Things have not gone so smoothly, but we worked through our differences and we both like each other a great deal.My birthday was last week and as a gift, he brought me a big bag of fried chicken from a place he remembered I had talked about wanting to eat at because I loved it as a child. It was thoughtful, but another part of me was really disappointed with it.One, he knows I am doing weight watchers, so food is really not the most appropriate present. Secondly, he knows I am a women who loves clothes, jewelry (cheap stuff, nothing fancy), make-up, etc. I just felt like chicken was a cop out. Am I being too hard on him? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (3 June 2013):
 I suck at gift giving. I usually ask my husband "what do you want for your birthday" and get him that. I keep a list on Amazon (my wish list) and just send him that when it's gift giving time.
at least you got a gift... it may not have been what you wanted... but some women get NOTHING, not a gift, not a card, not an acknowledgement.
Had you talked to him before your birthday to discuss what you felt were appropriate gifts?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks Everybody!!!
I am always amazed at our little dearcupid community. You all always come through and although my boyfriend gift wasn't the most thoughtful, you definitely all are. I truly appreciate your responses!
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (1 June 2013):
 A bag of fried chicken ? Well- at least it was an original gift,that we cannot deny it.
I think that some of the Aunts here are being too nice and cutting him too much slack: thoughtful... he's just not good with gifts...
Oh please- it could maybe be seen as thoughtful if it were the gift of an 8 y.o. child to his Mom on Mother's Day !
I, ( probably being the bitch I am, OK :) don't see any " thought " behind it, in fact, IMO, the way I suspect it went is that the guy is not only a huge cheapskate but also did not want to waste any energy in tryng to come out with something nice AND inexpensive ( which is totally possible if you put some time, imagination and effort in it ; doing something handmade.... visiting flea markets... bargain hunting on line... etc.etc.) At the last minute, he just told himself , ah ok ,chicken will do, she eats chicken ,doesn't she - then he made it sound as if he had stayed awake at night to think of a special surprise for you. Sure, he remembered that you mentioned that you like that kind of chicken . He probably also remembers if you mentioned that your favourite tampon brand is Tampax, or that your favourite toilet paper is the 3-ply type, - dating, particularly at the beginning, includes a lot of coming to know each other preferences , no particular memory effort required. It still would not make a box of Tampax a romantic, well thought gift .
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2013): I know they say its the thought that counts. But you want to think you matter to someone you're been dating. I would think if you're been dating someone for awhile, he would of asked you out somewhere nice to eat and have a card and cake, flowers would of been nice. It wouldn't have to cost a fortune, but not a bag of chicken as a gift for someone on weight watchers.
Don't settle for a man who doesn't value you.
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A
female
reader, oldbag  +, writes (1 June 2013):
 Hi
He sounds thoughtful to me, plus he actually remembered your birthday and the fact you liked the chicken.
If it wasn't ideal for you then you need to start dropping hints about what you do want. Some people just need a little nudge in the present department.
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A
female
reader, shrodingerscat +, writes (1 June 2013):
 Some people are inherently bad at gift giving. I understand why you're upset, but don't hold it against him and punish him for this, some people just can't help it.
Next time, TELL HIM what you want for special occasions. My husband is terrible at gift giving but if I let him know what I want, I get it every time! Sometimes you gotta compromise with your partner's flaws in order to smooth things over.
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