A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Ok - I broke up with my ex almost 2 weeks ago and have been NC since. I broke it off, because he was distant and not giving me enough attention, and gave me the impression he wanted out of the relationship but wanted me to end it... so I did. He's made no attempts to contact me but has posted subtle things over the last 2 weeks on his facebook that would normally prevoke a response from me, however those things didn't work. Today, he posted that he's "single again woohoo" and now he has family (who LOVED me) posting things on his status that are hurtful to me. They're making remarks about him hooking up with some bad ass chick from a few nights ago and other things that I know are only to upset me. Now, he has been blocked from MY facebook but he's still friends with my brother and knows that it will get back to me. So, why is this happening?
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male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (1 March 2013):
 He's your "ex-"....
Let him be your ex-.... .and get on with your life. WHY would anything that he does have to impact you??????
I think you need advice about how to break up with a guy. My advice? Ignore him and forget that he exists and that you (ever) had anything to do with him....
Good luck...
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (1 March 2013):
 He’s not being mean. He’s living his life. He’s your ex… even if he did it to be mean or get back at you it does not matter. He's your ex. You do not have children with him, you have no need for any contact with him.
If you have blocked him on facebook, (GREAT first move)then you can’t see him at all. If your brother stupidly mentions him (because you won’t see him on your brother’s feed either) then you say “its’ over and done with him I don’t want to hear it” and that’s it.
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (1 March 2013):
 People often forget that people need time to properly grieve an ended relationship. That involves going through the stages of grief. One of those stages is anger.
Stay away from FB. It really is the devil anyway.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (1 March 2013):
 I don't think he is being mean, or wanting to upset you on purpose. I think that he is moving on with his life , and so should you. If you weren't checking his FB and reading his updates how would you even know what he is up to ?
Sure, people might report some things to you . But, 1 ) he may imagine that, but he does not KNOW this for a fact, 2 ) even if he knows, why would / should he be concerned ? Is he supposed stopping having a social/ sexual life until you get over him ? What if he wants to buy a house, is he supposed to not buy it because you'd be upset thinking this is the house in which you will NOT live together ?...
You have broken up with him, and I am sure you had your good reasons. Now though , you set him free, to do see and say anything he wants ,regardless of how it may affect you. If you think that you are still too raw for knowing certain details, practice scrupolous no contact and you 'll eliminate any " meanness ".
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A
female
reader, PerhapsNot +, writes (1 March 2013):
 Your real enemy here is FB. If you broke up with him, you should have never kept him as a FB friend. All the drama stems from you stalking his page and looking at his updates. If you had deleted him, you wouldn't have any visual irritants. You would be blissfully unaware of everything and you could move on. "Now, he has been blocked from MY facebook but he's still friends with my brother and knows that it will get back to me. So, why is this happening?"Again, why is your brother friends with someone who makes his sister miserable? And most importantly, why would he feel the need to report to you on his updates? Once again, you need to cut this digital crap out. You can tell your brother to not discuss or bring up your former boyfriend's FB because you're trying to move on and hearing about his updates sets you back. You don't have a problem here. You ended a relationship and now you just have to sever those last chords. It's human nature to want to know about updates,to see how they're taking the break up and wanting to know if they're moving on. In your case, receiving any information sets you back 10 steps. You're not ready for updates, and maybe you're the type who should be blocked from ALL updates. Don't be nosy and keep moving on forward.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (1 March 2013):
 Who knows? He sounds passive-aggressive. I'd tell your brother not to give you any of the updates and seriously enforce NC.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2013): He sounds immature and sleazy. Better to have gotten rid of him if this is how he is. Move on and find a guy better suited for you who doesn't resort to such behavior and one pays attention during the relationship.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionNo, this is definitely things said ONLY to get me upset or get my attention. Which is strange to me considering he wasn't giving me any and I walked away.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (1 March 2013):
 He doesn't want to show you attention when he's supposed to. He only shows you attention when he's not supposed to. A relationship is only safe when there are temporary outs because it is too suffocating without. The break ups allow him to chase a void.
He is expecting you to beg him to come back. Like other men he does not feel a break up is forever. When you refuse to have an on and off relationship he falls flat on his face. He only cares about himself. He is wondering how you could move on so quickly, maybe you never loved him at all. He is using the jealousy test to see if you still love him. He has never given a thought on how he made you feel when he became distant.
Yep, keep your standard high. No man should have to be taught that relationships need to be nurtured daily, like a flower. If they feel it is asking too much of them, then they should not be in one.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionLet me add, we were together for 2.5 years. I'm 30 and he's soon to be 35. So this was a serious relationship.
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