A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:My wife is amazing in bed,even after 20+ years together,3 kids I still think she has a fantastic figure,the only problem is she still won't have sex with light on,let me me see her naked or have sex in daytime,I keep telling she's got a lovely figure,HELP Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2013): "We notice everything about your bodies you guys don't, trust me."
I meant to say our, not your.
A
male
reader, Glacier  +, writes (26 February 2013):
Ask her to meet in the middle. I'd go with the candles suggestion. Just a little bit of light. That's a start.
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A
male
reader, Serpico  +, writes (26 February 2013):
She has some issue with her body. Despite how you see it, she is afraid you will see this issue the way she does, so she hides it.
My suggestion to you, tell her how hot you think she is. It costs you nothing, is not lying, and only makes her feel better. Life is too short to keep nice things to yourself.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2013): I have 2 guesses. 1: She has REALLY low self esteem, and worries if she lets you see her naked, you'll see all the flaws she sees on her own body. 2: She wants you to keep lusting after her, and her only. If you never see her naked, that keeps you wondering what she looks like. And that means your mind will stay on her, and not wander to other women. Honestly, I think it's the first one, though. Especially since you mentioned her not having sex with you in the daytime. Let's face it, I think most women have gotten nervous at one time or another about letting a guy see their naked body in daylight. After all, daylight will show every blemish, emphasize our body parts we don't like, and if we missed a spot shaving our legs, it'll show. BOY will it show. We notice everything about your bodies you guys don't, trust me.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2013): She probably feels self conscious about her body. What I suggest is that you encourage her to eat healthy and work out. NOT because you feel she needs to obviously but because that will make her feel better about herself and more confident with her body.
Maybe you could buy a gym membership for the whole family, make it like it's your thing, like you are on a new health kick and you want to start getting in shape. Oh and if she asks about your new health kick tell her someone at work has been bragging about how good they look and feel and you wanted to try it for yourself. And make it a routine to go together 3 or 4 times a week. She might really like it and get into it. Once she starts seeing results she will feel more confident around you.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (25 February 2013):
 Try lighting a single candle next time. Throw some rose petals on the bed and tell her you want to romance her. Then, the next time you are in bed again, light two candles, then three, then four. Eventually, you'll have enough light.
My guess is that is does not believe that she is lovely naked. Why that is, you will have to figure out. I hope you do. Good luck!
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (25 February 2013):
Look, her tactic has worked; its been 20 years and you're still dying to see her naked!
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (25 February 2013):
 I'm guessing that it's because she has a tattoo of an old boyfriend's name.... someplace strategic and near to you-know-where!!!!!
Good luck...
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A
female
reader, Makayla5893  +, writes (25 February 2013):
Pretty much all women have things about their body they don't like, but your wife sounds like she has especially low self esteem. Buy her some sexy lingerie, some massage oil, wine and candles to get the romance flowing. Maybe she won't have sex with the light fully on, but surely she would by candlelight? Take it slowly and make her feel sexy and comfortable
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (25 February 2013):
 Have you asked her why she does not want to?
It may very well be that she's modest...(were you at the birth of your children?)
it could be that she was raised that bodies are private...
it could be a religious thing depending on if she was raised that way or you guys are religious...
this all applies if she was the same way when you were dating and first married before the kids came along.
if it's only happened since the kids were born... well that's your answer... like most women her body changed and she is not aware that her stretch marks and sagging breasts still appeal to you... as a woman of a certain age, having had children... I get how she feels.... truly....
if it's since the kids, well then you need to talk to her about it more... and ask her why... MAKE HER TELL YOU.... if she won't suggest some couples counseling and bring it up there..... the counselor is trained to get her to talk about the things she does not want to.
sadly no matter how much you tell her or show her how much you love her and want her... if she can't fathom how you would, she won't believe it......
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A
female
reader, when nothing goes right go left +, writes (25 February 2013):
 Its less of what you can do and more of what she could do because its obviously down to her being embarrased about her body so if she wants to change the way she feels about her body then she should try seeing a confudence coach and tginking about 5 things that she likes about her body every day.
Hope this helps.
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A
female
reader, lmao1989 +, writes (25 February 2013):
 The thing is with women they hate their bodies even when guys tell them they think they got a lovely wonderful beautiful figure.
I have been there my boyfriend tells me he loves me the way i am but i still find flaws.
Your wife has had three kids and she probably doesn't feel too sexy she may feel drained and yucky.
Have you tried spoiling her with a lovely meal rather than jus telling her all the time she still looks good try spoiling her make her a romantic meal take her to a hotel for a night maybe that will just help her feel more comfortable and build a moment with you guys together.
Try asking her why she won't have sex with the light on maybe there is a problem and she needs to share it.
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