A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi =]I've been with my boyfriend for two and a half months now and things between us are going great =] However I do have an unusual problem and wondered if anyone else had experienced this.I know it's not very pleasant, but I get constipated when my boyfriend comes over! I'm not sure if it's psychological or something else, but I think there are a few possibilities as to why.During the week this is less of a problem as a. I'm at uni/he's at work so I go when I'm/he's out b. I'm a lot more active during the week (I'm a dance student) and c. I eat quite healthily in the week (lots of veg, dried fruit, baked beans, juice etc.)He stays over at mine on friday night until late sunday morning when I have to go to work, and I've been finding that I now go from friday morning until sunday afternoon without going for number 2 because he's always with me and it is causing me physical discomfort =[ However on the weekends we get up really late (after my usual toilet time!), do nothing all day and eat junk. I wondered if this could be why so I bought some bran flakes and baked beans to try and eat over the weekend to encourage healthy digestion.Also, in my house, the walls are really thin and you can hear everything! My bedroom is right next to the bathroom and my kitchen is right under it so in these two rooms particularly, but also all over the house, you can generally hear what's going on in the bathroom! I find it less of a problem at his house where the toilet is quite far away from his room, and in public toilets if we go out for the day.I didn't think I would be so self conscious, because we're comfortable enough that I've actually told him about the problem! We literally talk about anything, and I know he doesn't have the same problem when he's with me, so I don't understand...Has anyone else experienced this and how did you deal with it? Thank you!
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (28 February 2013):
 Cindy is right... Bananas will not make you go.
dried fruits work for me... or too many nuts
i love a big bowl of oatmeal with dried fruit cut up and some nuts for crunch....
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (28 February 2013):
 Bananas ? Noooo ! don't eat bananas, bananas are astringent. It's the kind of thing you eat when you have dhiarrea . Eat kiwis instead.
I think you've got two simple solutions :
1 ) just tell him about your psychological block, it's not that strange !, it's rather common,in fact. And ask him to be so kind to go take a long walk- go walk the dog, go buy groceries and and run errands, or whatever- so that he can give you an hour all to yourself for an unhurried " attempt ".
2 ) stop worrying, you are not going to have an intestinal block if you don't go a day or two. If you had to LIVE with this guy, I imagine you should take a more aggressive approach to the problem, but skipping a bowel movement once a week, really won't send you to the E.R.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (28 February 2013):
not to be funny but you are being a bit "anal retentive" about this.
if you don't poop one day you wont' die.
some folks are lucky they know exactly what will help them go and when they will go... others... like me... it's hit or miss on a daily basis....
relax a bit OP... and if you must once a week take a stool softener... (not a laxative) such as Colace (or senna)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI feel really bad poking holes in people's answers because they all sound like they could work. But getting up for the loo on my normal time (mid morning) on a saturday is not easy as I work until 1am on friday night. However I am trying to take your advice in not eating so much junk - my boyfriend actually suggested this as well, alongside not laying in bed for quite so long. We're hopefully going out and doing stuff this weekend rather than lazing around all day and I've got the bran flakes and bananas at the ready so hopefully all will be ok!
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (28 February 2013):
 Get up early, go for a brisk walk and stop at the local coffee shop and go there.
Don't eat the junk food. Eat your usual stuff. Let him eat the junk food.
I think the most important thing is to keep your usual timing. As you seem freaked out by going in your place when anyone else is there, either he has to leave while you go, or you have to leave and go elsewhere.
If it's bothering you this much, you are the one who has to leave to go elsewhere. There's no requirement that you have to be glued to his side for 24/7 on the weekends.
I don't think defecating is supposed to be super noisy. Maybe a visit to the doctor or chemist if you are making so much noise that it breaches the flimsy walls?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for the help lol. only problem is we share showers so if I told him I was going for a shower/bath so he would know I was lying :-\ the other thing is even with music/tv on etc I just don't feel able to go... sorry I'm being such a pain!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2013):
So very confused has hit this on the head.. You have what called anal retention it's when your mind locks your body and due to the thoughts and fears you have of being overheard having a poo..
Here my advice( I'm a mental health nurse) get your bf to watch the tv . Tell him your going for a bath or play some music . The point isn't to make you do one ( that would be nice if you do). But to get you relaxed enough to go ..
Focus on the music ....Let your body relax .. If you feel the need to poop in the hour your relaxing in the wArm water then jump out and do your business . While in the water also massage your tummy with circular motion to release any gas etc ..
Pooing is natural .. Everyone does it lol
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (27 February 2013):
Get him a pair of headphones that stick in the ear and say I'm going to the bathroom, listen to some music.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (27 February 2013):
you do not have to have a bowel movement daily to be healthy.
I am sensing you don't go because "the walls are really thin" and you don't want him to hear it.
we went away two weekends ago to a friends house and were there from saturday afternoon till Monday afternoon. I could not go.... it's not my house... I hate going anywhere but home...
and I'm sensing this is a mental block more than a physical one....
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (27 February 2013):
 I've had buddies of mine tell me that they had upset tummies and vomited when their Mother-in-law visited.....
But NOTHING like you've described, herein....
Usually, I get constipation only when I don't drink adequate beer to keep my innards flowing......
Good luck....
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