Why does my boyfriend still text this woman? He knows she has feelings for him!
Q. I met my boyfriend on a dating website about 3 months ago. Our relationship is exclusive and he has told me he has fallen in love with me. We live an hour apart. We see each other every weekend and once during the week. Problem... He met this...
A. 21 February 2013: C'mon OP. You write: "In all fairness, he has told her about me coming into his life." Were you there when this conversation took place?????? IF so, then I have no more to add. IF NOT.... then my advice is: BE THERE when he repeats this ... (read in full...)
My guy changed after he found out about my past. Is this emotional abuse?
Q. I met a guy last year and we had nearly been together a year. When I met this guy I was in a bad place in my life and he was the most amazing guy I had ever met. Always texting poems, sending photos, doing everything for me and giving me so much ...
A. 20 February 2013: You ask: "Now is this emotional abuse control? I dont know whether I should walk away and cut al strings or carry on with this and see where it goes..."
I answer: This is two adults acting like children (Yes, you are part of the childish... (read in full...)
Why does my boyfriend still text this woman? He knows she has feelings for him!
Q. I met my boyfriend on a dating website about 3 months ago. Our relationship is exclusive and he has told me he has fallen in love with me. We live an hour apart. We see each other every weekend and once during the week. Problem... He met this...
A. 20 February 2013: Considering that it's rather coarse for him to say to this "other" woman: "Hey, bitch.... don't be in touch with me 'cuz I'm romancin' another girl now..... and am not available to you...." I would give him a pass for him to "let her down ... (read in full...)
A co worker lied to me and now I'm worried about my job
Q. Pleaseplease help me. So I just started working for this company. Keep in mind throughout our HR meetings we were told it is okay to ask a coworker on a date. But anyways..my situation is a little different. I met this man and we will just cal...
A. 20 February 2013: I suggest that you stay at your job... DO you job as best you can.... look to YOUR future and how you can advance it.
Notice that there is NO mention of this creep that you talked about????? That's because THERE IS NO PLACE FOR HIM IN YOUR LIF... (read in full...)
I'm afraid I may lose her to another man!
Q. Ok, Im in 23 years in this relationship and have had alot of great years but the last 5 or 6 have been very on the line to be truthful. We have had our ups and downs but always try to meet in the middle but lately it is a tug of war in the sex dept. ...
A. 20 February 2013: Please tell us more about the "ups and downs".... Are they related to the sexual/intimacy "questions" that you have inferred in your submittal?
... (read in full...)
I dig some digging and found out he's married. Do I tell his wife about us?
Q. I had a rough time last year, and vowed I'd spend 6 months without men, sorting my life out. In December a man chased me out of the pub and asked for my number. We went out and although I kept my distance, I fell in love with him totally. He told me ...
A. 20 February 2013: Close this chapter of your life all in one fell-swoop:
This guy is a DOG.... and you need only to get away from him and never look back. Don't waste your time with "one last time"... since you can be quite sure that he will lie about anything... (read in full...)
I fell for him, he's with someone else. No contact but I still want him back!
Q. hi there, i am a woman of 47 and have been unlucky with relationships,my first marraige i was very young and was very abusive,it took me years to get a mental state of mind back to normal,my 2nd partner started out as a lending ear, i fell pregnant ...
A. 20 February 2013: You write that you are "unlucky" with relationships.
Many of us believe that "luck" is related to those things that we can't control (like the weather, or world affairs), whilest the are many details, in life, that we attribute to "luck"..... (read in full...)
My guy is 20 and acts like he's 15. I'm pregnant and really love him but he doesn't grow up!
Q. My boyfriend and i have been together for 4 years on and off. Well lately, things has been going downhill. It has been like that for a while now. No matter what i do or say, he still acts like he doesnt care or treat me like i should. In the past...
A. 20 February 2013: Your submittal reads like a cookbook of most-all the things that separate good boyfriends from bad boyfriends. Unfortunately, your's is one of the bad ones....
I suggest that you keep re-reading your submittal until you realize that this "young-m... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is under pressure from her family and takes it out on me
Q. I don't know what to do to keep my relationship going now, let alone a future of marriage. Short story is that we are from two different countries, her parents/family don't agree with her being with a foreigner for the obvious reasons. That I ...
A. 20 February 2013: 1. Considering the obstacles; do you WANT to "keep the relationship going?" If yes, then proceed.....
2. The "obvious reasons" ... "....That I (you) can't give her what she needs and protect her." Are they true and valid? If yes, then wha... (read in full...)
What can I do to persuade my 21 year old daughter to put down the controller and pick up a boyfriend?
Q. I'm concerned about my daughter's social life or rather lack thereof. She's 21 and all she wants to do when she's not at work is play video games. She's never had a boyfriend, is not interested and getting one and is still a virgin. Geez I was ...
A. 20 February 2013: Your two questions: " Should I be worried? What can I do to persuade my daughter to put down the video controller and pick up a boyfriend?"
My two answers: No. .... and, nothing....
Please let your daughter mature on her own terms.... She'll... (read in full...)
How to ask a senior girl out when she is always hanging with her best friends?
Q. Hello. I am 21 and I like a girl who is a year senior at my university. The problem is she is always with another girl which is her best friend. How should I proceed to ask her out? ...
A. 20 February 2013: You have described the classic "guy-dilemma."
It's critical, when dealing with girls in pairs or groups, that you ID the one who catches your fancy, and CUT HER OUT FROM THE HERD ("Cowboy-talk", there!).....
Once you've gotten her where you ca... (read in full...)
Do guys want to see a softer side to a girl?
Q. So for me personally I'm not very emotional. My close family (mom, dad and siblings) are the only ones that have seen me cry. I tend to not tell my feeling or share that part of me with others. This guy I am seeing has been pretty open with...
A. 20 February 2013: Your submittal "sounds" like you are trying to craft yourself to match the girl who you think your guy wants.
Why not simply be yourself?... and see if that is the kind of girl that this guy would like to spend time with??
Good luck....... (read in full...)
I feel like I always have to be the bad guy when my boyfriend promises his children something that we can't afford!
Q. My boyfriend has 2 teenagers that live with their mother most of the time, they play their mother and father against each other quite often and pretty much only contact their father to ask for something. I get that this is teenagers as I have had my ...
A. 20 February 2013: WHY, oh WHY would YOU feel like a "bad guy?"
You have described a classic situation of someone taking advantage of someone else (him taking advantage of you).... AND he can only do so WITH YOUR CONSENT!!!!!
YOU have a serious decision to make... (read in full...)
My wife confessed that she cheated and our 4 year old daughter isn't mine. How do we proceed from here?
Q. I'm 32, and my wife's 31; been together for 9 years now. We have a 5-year-old son and 4-year-old daughter. Last night she told me she had something to confess; I asked her what it was, and she admitted to me: "Our 4-year-old daughter isn't m...
A. 18 February 2013: Considering what you've written, I'd be inclined to find the MOST postive approach that can be available.... and THESE are the details of that approach:
1. Confirm that this girl is NOT your child, with DNA testing. IF she is (your daughter... (read in full...)
I have proof that my boyfriend cheated but how do I get him to admit it?
Q. i had a suspision that my boyfriend was cheating so i set up a recorder one nite and sure enough i got my evidence but he stil denies it. How to i get him to tell the truth?...
A. 18 February 2013: You ask: "How to i get him to tell the truth?"
I ask: "Why bother????"
Good luck...
... (read in full...)
My fiance keeps asking me if I love him. Whats really going on?
Q. My fiance keeps asking if I love him. He will ask, Do you "really" love me? Then he asks if I am living with him because I have no other place to go. Btw-I've got the means to go anywhere. I am here because I want to be with him. Then he will ...
A. 18 February 2013: In my eyes... this "question" boils down ONLY to this detail: Do you say to him "I love you" sometimes?
If you do... then your submittal is 'way more in-depth than just a question of his insecurities....
If you DON'T (say "I love you")... th... (read in full...)
I don't want to be his fallback girl while he looks for his fantasy woman!
Q. Where to begin? My issues with this relationship have been ongoing. The guy and I were friends and coworkers when we first got together, a rebound relationship after his devastating divorce and subsequent lay-off left him crushed. I was needy too, ...
A. 18 February 2013: I detect that there is a little "something" that's not crystal-clear in your submittal.... and it's THIS:
IF you and he wish to remain (REAL) friends... then what's the harm in that? However.......
IF you and he are intimate (have sex) when ... (read in full...)
Was I wrong to finally snap and publicly humiliate and insult someone who had been talking trash about me for over a year?
Q. Hi. I am looking for advice on whether I did the right thing or not. My boyfriend has this girl friend, who I have only met a handful of times, who has a lot of animosity toward me. I had always been really nice to her the times I ran into her. When ...
A. 18 February 2013: In life... it's so important to determine which battles are worth having, and which are not.....
This is one of those battles NOT WORTH HAVING.....
Good luck...... (read in full...)
Will my boyfriend judge my family if I tell him about my abusive father?
Q. Hey, I'l get straight to the point,I'v never had a daughter-father relationship with my dad,we never shared,talked about problems,I always soo scared of him cuz he was an abusive father and as a child I heard him shout and raise his hands on my mo...
A. 18 February 2013: I would say that your peculiar relationship with your father IS something that you should reveal to your B/F....
That will serve the purpose of giving your B/F an important bit of information about YOU.... AND will let him know that your "family"... (read in full...)
Why do we hurt the ones we truly love?
Q. I always find myself wondering about love. What love is, how it can be given to you, who chooses to love who, why it exists, when will it come, when will it go, where one anothers eye meet. People take love for granted sometimes... Cruel peopl...
A. 17 February 2013: It's critical that people hurt the one who they love. Otherwise, how could this music lyric be valid????
You always hurt
The one you love,
The one you shouldn't hurt,
At all.....
You always take
The sweetest rose,
And crush it,
'... (read in full...)
Help, I need to air my concerns and seek your advice please? I've been sworn to secrecy about their relationship
Q. Hi everyone. I am a bit concerned about my best friend at the moment. I have known her for 23 years (we are both 27) and we have always been very close. About 9 months ago , she made a new friend and I stopped hearing from her as much. I was a bi...
A. 17 February 2013: I don't understand why you wouldn't treat this situation any different than you would a counterpart situation in which your friend was being abused by a man....To wit:
You take her aside, and tell her: "You know, best friend, being abused b... (read in full...)
Is there any way to work things out with this cold unresponsive husband?
Q. My husband and I are live in different houses. We have always lived like this due to work and children's schooling but now the relationship is at the point where we would be described at separated. I need love, security and affection and he is very ...
A. 17 February 2013: At the end of your litany describing a peculiar "non-relationship" you asked: "If you are going to do that why bother!"
THAT is your answer: "Why bother"??????
Good luck....... (read in full...)
Co-worker does not speak after sex
Q. Ok so, this guy started working with my company about six months ago. Very cute I'm very attracted to him and he is also younger then I am, I'm 38 and he is 26. We would see each other but not talk, Im shy I'm not sure if he is the same way. One ...
A. 17 February 2013: IT was uncool....don't speculate; he IS a player.... He was happy with his one-night stand with you.....
Don't let it bother you that he doesn't speak to you any more. He's a dog.... so you're best off not having anything to do with him........ (read in full...)
Has my ex husband changed or is this a threat?
Q. I have an abusive ex husband who I've recently left, and he really wants to get back together -he's out to a new place for work and has sent this to me - what does this email below mean? Has he really changed or is this a threat or why is he sending ...
A. 17 February 2013: That's a great note that he sent to you. Has all the right things in it to entice you back..... so that you may experience all the abuse and difficulties that you so wisely walked away from a while ago....
You'd be crazy to succumb to his enti... (read in full...)
Why was I ignored on Valentine's Day?
Q. My girlfriend and I currently having a long distance relationship , it transitioned to long distance only a few months ago . There is a guy where she lives that she sees often at the gym and i know they text often . Yesterday valentines day she ...
A. 17 February 2013: "Sounds" to me like she's giving you all you need to realize that the best you can be is "Number Two" in her life. Are you content with that?????
Good luck....... (read in full...)
Help! I am Catholic, my boyfriend is Sikh. His family has other plans for him.
Q. hi guys i have a problem and i think you can help me im in a forbidden love kind of situation. im catholic and im in love with an indian guy he is about my age, his religion is sikh. we have been together a while now. he always told me that in c...
A. 17 February 2013: YOu write: "guys, do you think his father will come around?
what do you think i should do or shouldn´t do.
and please don't say give up. because i won´t even if it takes me years to wait him to come back. i know he is the one."
Well...... (read in full...)
I gave money to my boyfriend to pay bills but he got a stupid video game!
Q. Hey guys im haveing money issues with my bf and im 17 and need advice. background info is im 17 turn 18 next month my boyfriend is 20. He had a rough life growing up parents on heavey drugs ended up in foster care for awhile. Hes been my bestfriend ...
A. 17 February 2013: There are limits that one must place on themselves when they choose to be martyrs. It appears that YOU exceeded your limit.... wasting it on an unappreciative and VERY immature and irresponsible guy.....
Forget what has happened in the past....... (read in full...)
He's upset with the gift I gave him -- even complained on lack of gift wrap??? Explain it to me.
Q. Dear Cupids, I have a long distance friend that lives in Germany that I've known for almost 3 years. I'm 25 and he's 23.5. I feel we like each other a little more than friends but each have our own lives, etc. And I don't see them collidi...
A. 17 February 2013: Don't spend a lot of time worrying about who's wrong. It won't advance the most important message in your submittal.
That is, YOU sought to get him a nice gift.... HE chose to berate/belittle you for it..... Sooooo, you learned that he's an unapp... (read in full...)
Boyfriend tends to go to the main event too quickly. How do I slow him down?
Q. Hi, I've recently entered a new relationship, where I am his first proper sexual partner (apart from a couple of drunken one night stands) but he's not mine. In general, everything is great, the relationship's really good and very open and as much ...
A. 16 February 2013: I suggest that you consider a "sexual" discussion sometime where and when you are not on the runway to a sexual encounter....... Sit him down and tell him just what you've told us, herein. He may - or probably - doesn't know just how important ... (read in full...)
Do relationships go into a lull? Or is something wrong?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for about 10 months now. We stay in contact everyday and see eachother once or twice a week. Lately though, I don't hear from him as much during the day, and I'm the one asking to make plans. He's been supe...
A. 16 February 2013: Your submittal has LOTS of details in it..... which details could describe LOTS of conditions (goings-on)....
IF, and since, you don't believe that your "something's amiss" alarm isn't blaring... then you need to ride out things for the time bei... (read in full...)
Why is he so distant in our inbetween times together?
Q. Hi everyone, i've only just joined this site and i need help!!! I am 46 years old and have just starting dating a man who is the same age. We met online and when we met, we clicked instantly. We see each other twice a week at the most and he ...
A. 16 February 2013: I think the most important detail that you need to know is what this man does when he is NOT with you? .... that is... what is it that keeps his attention so much that he is INATTENTIVE to you?
IF he has a job which requires lots of time and ener... (read in full...)
How long before he texts me again after I ignored his last one?
Q. I dated this very good looking man for over a month, and then he started disappearing and playing games. He ignored me for over a month and then returned. Now we're talking again but he's not being very attentive. I don't really have a choice at ...
A. 15 February 2013: These childish schoolyard games can go on forever, if either or both of the participants choosed to keep it going.....
Myself? I think it's OK to forget about people who think this is an OK way to carry on a "relationship".....
Good luck....... (read in full...)
I want to have anal sex but when the time really comes I chicken out!
Q. I keep wanting to have anal sex. Like me and my boyfriend are really up for it we both feel ready and trust each other enough. But when it actually comes down to it i stop him and tell him i'm too worried to carry on, i'm guessing this kind of ...
A. 15 February 2013: You know, this really doesn't need to be a condition of your continued relationship and its success.....
Any chance that you and "boyfriend" can put this on "Hold" and leave it there for a while... and ressurrect it, sometime in the future..... (read in full...)
I'd like to get together with my physiotherapist
Q. I'm seeing a physiotherapist just after having surgery, she's about 23 years old, I'm definitely attracted to her physically and a bit emotionally, although I'm not good with emotions or love. My emotions are a bit messed up because I still have ...
A. 15 February 2013: REALLY!!!!!! How about you grow up and consider looking at, longing for, and hanging with young women who are more of your age group??????
Good luck...... (read in full...)
He has stopped telling me he loves me and he misses me. How do I save my LDR?
Q. My boyfriend and I are in a long distance relationship because I'm away for school. Up until recently, our relationship has been pretty amazing despite the distance. We've had our fair share of disagreements, but they've never been serious and we ...
A. 15 February 2013: Don't waste your time. The "LDR" is over... and so aren't you and this guy.....
Good luck...... (read in full...)
My wife wants to have a child, I dont. What should we do?
Q. I’m 31 year old man and I’m having a trouble in my marriage. My wife ( she's 32) wants a child, I don’t. We are married for 4 years. We discussed this subject many times before our marriage. I told her I never want to have children and asked whether ...
A. 15 February 2013: It was noble of you to offer to part from her so that she could spawn the child that she wants.....
IF she were to tamper with either or both her birth control and/or your barrier protections, then her pregnancy would be fraudulant... and YOU coul... (read in full...)
I miss him when he is not at work with me, how do I stop this?
Q. Hi folks, There is this guy I'm friends with at work. (I don't see or chat to him outside of work for various reasons) we both get on really well, but when he's not at work I feel really fed up, like there's no point if he's not here. We flirt o...
A. 15 February 2013:
You write: "Any ideas how I can get rid of this feeling when he's not around?..."
The first thought that comes to my mind is: How about paying attention to your JOB (what your boss is PAYING YOU TO DO during the work-day....) and NOT waste "h... (read in full...)
He's posting on Facebook that he misses me but doesn't reply to my texts....what should I do?
Q. So, I posted a question yesterday about pushing my bf away with my jealousy and insecurities, if you read it thanks so much.. Here's where I am now: he text me last night, after 24 hours of NC, and wished me a happy vday and said he loved and missed ...
A. 15 February 2013: Sounds like he's screwing with your brain.
He can only do so - and continue to do so - if you "Let" him do so.....
The "answer", of course, is to simply forget him and get on with your life. NO MAN is worth the anguish that you've described... (read in full...)
Completely confused with exes behaviour!?
Q. Hi I am totally confused with my exes behaviour! We broke up at Christmas after an argument. He barely spoke to me over Christmas then told me the day after boxing day that he wanted to break up and he'd arranged somewhere else to live! ...
A. 15 February 2013: He's you "ex-"..... let him remain in that status and give not a whit of mental energy to him.... and get on with YOUR life....
Good luck....... (read in full...)
Should I go back to the social club where I met my ex?
Q. Hope you guys can help. I recently moved to a new city and joined a social club to meet and make new friends. Within weeks I started dating a guy who was a regular at the club. We were together for 6 weeks when I broke it off. I then took a b...
A. 15 February 2013: I suggest that you separate the guy (and what went on between the two of you) from the social club....
IF you found the club to be a venue that you liked, and it had activities that you enjoyed, then return and spend as much time as you wish, th... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is emotionally abusive but I keep crawling back to him!
Q. Dear Cupid My bf of 3 years is lately being emotionally abusive towards me, never spends time with me, always blames me for verything. Whenever he get angry and yells at me, says he need to yell cause i was stupid enough not to understand him. ...
A. 15 February 2013: You are so smart with this, which you wrote at the end:
"I know i should never contact him ever again, but i always end up crawling back to him. Please help me..."
Ironically, NOBODY can do for you that which you must do, yourself. AT LE... (read in full...)
How can I stop my dad from being racist towards my girlfriend?
Q. [Mod Note: Personal and location details have been removed for anonymity] I'm 27, my girlfriend's 28, and she's Polish-Mexican-American (well, Polish-American on her father's side, and Mexican-American on the mother's side), and we've been together...
A. 14 February 2013: Just because your Father is ACTING like an a$s, in this instance.... doesn't mean that you have to partake of his a$s-like behaviour. Sounds like your G/F has done her bit at disarming him... and, now, the two of you need to continue with your ... (read in full...)
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