A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Me and my boyfriend are complete opposites when it comes to money. He's all about spend, spend, spend and I'm the save, save, save type which is causing problems between us. Any time he works he wants to spend it all instead of saving. We're trying to make a life for ourselves but that's allowed down due to his craving to spend. I told him last night that we will begin buying our own stuff instead of having others to do so. I hope this motivates him to save. It works with me. Once we run outta everything it's our responsibility. When it comes to money we just do not agree. It's affecting our future plans and I'm not sure what to do about it.
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male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (1 March 2013):
 Well.... you're certainly getting a preview of what life might be like with this guy if you continue to spend time together, have a relationship, and - possibly - marry....
Soooo, decide if you want to try to make a life with a guy who is fiscally irresponsible.... and if you'll be content to live a life "on the edge" - because he doesn't think beyond this afternoon.... when it comes to money matters...
Close your eyes and fast-forward in your brain, to living paycheck-to-paycheck for the rest of your life - foregoing the "things" that you COULD have, if you were with a financially-responsible guy - and decide just how much... and for how long... you would like your "man-friend" to screw up your life....
Good luck...
A
female
reader, kirra07  +, writes (1 March 2013):
Sit him down and talk about the future and money. Ask him where he sees himself in a couple of years, in 5 years, in 10 years. Does he see himself with a house? Cars? Having gone on a few trips/vacations? Cottage? Kids? What kind of life does he want to give his kids? Pay for their education? Extracurricular teams like hockey, dance class, soccer, martial arts, etc? All of these things cost money, and if he spends the way he does, none of that is going to happen. Talk to him about what he's spending his money on. Make a budget of what a typical month of his salary is. Find out where he spends all his money. Is the majority on eating out and entertainment? Clothes? A normal budget should have set percentages on different essentials - housing, transportation, food/household, some entertainment, and savings, etc. It's hard to avoid giving in to temptation sometimes. It feels good to just spend the money now. Saving money delays the gratification until a later time. It might help for him to have a goal of what he is saving money for. If you really are incompatible with regards to money, it might just be wise to go your separate ways. Money is a big point of contention after all.
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A
female
reader, ihavetoomanythoughts  +, writes (1 March 2013):
 I don't understand what "I told him last night that we will begin buying our own stuff instead of having others to do so" means. Are you getting money from someone outside your relationship? Or are you saying you have to buy things for your boyfriend because he as 0 balance all the time?Living with this kind of person is really going to put a strain on your relationship. The strain might be OK now but it will get worse when you have or want things like a house, a baby, even a wedding. It's easy to get a loan but if he spends money like water, you guys will have a really hard time paying it off. You might find that you have to manage all the finances - take his pay and pay what needs to be paid or saved for and give him the rest. If he can't handle that or you don't want to handle that then I think that you have to leave him.
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