A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So I've been dating this guy for a year we are 21 and 22. Great relationship, very happy together. We both know at some point in the future we will seperate, since we both have things (traveling, schooling) we need to do. I just lately have been wondering why waste my time on something so malleable, I mean we both know it's going to end. I had a daughter very young, she is 5 now and I plan to spend next year with her in Guatamala, I have a distant step grandma there. He may be traveling elsewhere. I just don't see the point in wasting anymore time for my daughter sake, or anyone's. He's ok with treasuring the time we have now, but the truth is I'm not I've been so independent my whole life with no one to help or support me going to school and rising a child alone. I'm getting use to him being around, but eventually we will part. So I guess is it worth more hurt later, for more time now. And ya I know maybe we will cross paths again, but why waste my time now? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2013): If you feel it's a waste of time then break up. I have to ask though OP, what difference is going to make if you keep him around until you go? Why give up the affection, closeness and sex just because it's not going to last?
Look if this is a matter of you worrying about becoming too attached and reliant on him that it will make breaking up a nightmare when you go your separate ways then break up now.
But if both of you know this is not a permanent thing, then it's okay to enjoy this while it lasts too.
I say keep it for now, you say it's a great relationship so why deny yourself that? Why deny yourself all the benefits of having him in your life while you can have him in your life?
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (1 March 2013):
 The nice thing about predicting what will happen, in events over which you have total control, is that YOUR PREDICTION WILL COME TRUE!!!!
Sounds like you are "planning" for this "relationship" to end... you just don't know when your going to trigger that occurance....
WHAT are you asking us?..... really.
Good luck....
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A
female
reader, Agneta  +, writes (1 March 2013):
 But are you really wasting your time here? It is understandable that you are used to planning ahead, always taking care of yourself, considering all the responibility you had to take from very young age. But there is also a now and if this guy is loving, caring and good for you now, why ruin it with thoughts about what MIGHT happen at some unspecific point in the future? You deserve to have love in your life and this sounds pretty stable since you've been together for a year so it is not like you put your daughter through constant short flings. Did you talk to him about your fears? There might be a lot more options for you than only the one you think up when alone worrying about the future? If you dare to let somebody come in and share your plans.
Or maybe you do part some time in the future, can happen to anybody, even long term marriages part, only then you will have a long term, "great relationship, very happy together", behind you which will make you better prepared for next.
They are my thoughts on your post :)
Wish you all the happiness!
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (1 March 2013):
 If you feel that you are wasting your time with this guy, by all means stop seeing him and stop wasting your time.
But, due to your age and situation, I would not be so drastic. First, at 21 and 22 , it's far from sure, and also far from probable, that you'd be together forever even if nobody would leave to go anywhere. It may very well be a transitional love regardless. Second, the months of time you gain before going to Guatemala, it's not that you'd gain them in favour of a stabler relationship , I guess. Why , even if the occasion shows up, would start anything semi-serious with another man, when you know that in less than one year you are leaving ?
Not all people are meant to stay in our life, even those we care about and get along with - some experiences may be happy and enriching, yet impermanent.
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