A
female
age
30-35,
*amir27
writes:If my boyfriend n i been together 7 yrs n lately everything is a argument. We juss had sex n i was on top seems to me everything was going well. Out of no where he gets soft.. What does that means?? Am i a turn off? Alot of thoughts are running through my head! Reply to this Question
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male
reader, fzald +, writes (28 February 2013):
Sex does not define a relationship - the relationship defines the sex.That isn't necessarily always true and always literal, but it's close.So if you're fighting a lot, he's probably got the arguments you've had on his mind. He might be stressed out about things that you've said to each other. Hell, he might just have had a hard day (no pun intended!) and your arguments have only compounded his existing stress and now you're trying to have sex...The bigger issue as has been said is the arguments and problems in your relationship. You need to work with your guy on fixing these - it may take time and some compromise and effort but if there's love there then you'll see it through. And once the stress of the relationship issues is at least lowered, he'll "spring" right back. :-)Also as others said, remember that sex is not perfect every time. People can have sex five times a week and still have those days where it just doesn't work. It's nothing to worry about unless it becomes constant for a long time. Good luck!F
A
male
reader, IHateWomanBeaters +, writes (28 February 2013):
 you are not a turn off to him. What you need to focus on first, is fixing the problems in your relationship...I suggest you look at your interactions with each other, and you both should honestly discuss your problems with one another.Then, take the smallest of the problems and negotiate on those. Compromise. The more serious the problem, the more experience you have with compromising. Set out to fix the problem, and you will fix his penis problem as well.When I am with a woman and I am not under stress and I like her, I can have sex 5 times each time for over an hour. When I am with a woman that I do not really like and I am under stress, I go limp and can't get hard. Society has it backwards. Men are the ones where sex is mental. One slight bit of anxiety in the moment, and it KILLS the erection. It can be temporary or for the rest of the day. However, it does happen.So, in a nutshell, talk about your problems with eachother without getting angry. Hear each other out. Both compromise with one another in a mutually satisfying way. Reduce the stress, and the penis issues disappear.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (27 February 2013):
 he had to fart and couldn't hold it any longer and got worried you would hear him....
it's NOT always about you... sometimes it just doesn't work...
and if you are fighting a lot (which why would you put this in if it didn't bother you) that may be on his mind too as in 'why are we having sex if we are fighting so much and I want to break it off"
or do you two fight so you can have make up sex?
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (27 February 2013):
It probably means he is married to someone else and he just found out she's pregnant and he doesn't know how to tell you that it's all a lie.
KIDDING! This kind of thing happens to the best of them, for no reason that the guy himself knows. It's the same as if the woman gets dry down there.
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (27 February 2013):
 Take you or woe is me out of the equation, he has ED, no big deal...a lot of men have it..it's embassing for him to say the least. he'll get past it if only you would.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (27 February 2013):
 Sure. Who can "keep it up" when the girl on top of him is little more than an argument partner??? Listen to what IAmHere wrote... and focus on what's making the two of you argue. Fix that, and you will probably have fixed your "softness" problem!!!!
Good luck....
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