I lost my virginity to him, but now it seems he's ready to move on. Do you think he is breaking up with me?
Q. My boyfriend and dated for two and half months. I loved him and thought he loved me and I lost my virginity to him the second month and three weeks later he sends me a message saying he hasn't been feeling hisself lately and that he is overwhelmed ...
A. 11 February 2013: What he REALLY means is: "I got you to put out.... so, now I'm done with you..."
Yes.... he IS breaking up with you. You will be wise to avoid such guys in the future.....
Good luck........ (read in full...)
In public he's a tiger, once home he not interested. How can I ignite his sexual desire at home? A striptease maybe?
Q. When I'm out with my 29 year-old boyfriend (hanging out with friends, on a date, even walking to get on the train), he always mentions how hot I am, how horny he is, he usually hints on how he wants sex (like, if we're at a coffee shop and I ask if ...
A. 10 February 2013: THIS is the best sentence in your submittal: "I even had a little striptease planned (he once asked me for one) but.. why bother, I guess?..."
I suggest that you print out a copy of your submittal.... place it in front of him and say, "Hunchy-... (read in full...)
Porn users: how valid is my Bf excuse that he 'forgot' his user name on a porn site? Was that said to prevent me seeing his porn use log?
Q. Right this question is slightly different than most porn questions. It is directed at the techies. My boyfriend told me the site from which he downloaded his porn from, I asked his username. I discovered I could try and find out when he last log...
A. 10 February 2013: I believe that your B/F is one saavy dude... who is giving you enough run-around and obsfuscation such that he thinks you will get tired of trying to make heads-or-tails of things and will give up..... Don't (give up)....
Good luck...... (read in full...)
What are the disadvantages physically of not having sex?
Q. 1)I am 59 Years of age.whats the physical and medical disadvantage of not having sex. 2)How can Low Libibo of female of 58 can be controlled....
A. 10 February 2013: For a man, the problem arises from "DSB"..... which is Deadly Sperm Backup.... It causes major headaches and frustration, and leads to masturbation.... and you KNOW what THAT leads to.....
When my S/O exhibits Low Libido, I get a copy of the movi... (read in full...)
Can anyone please explain to me how it's possible to be too sweet?
Q. Can anyone please explain to me how it's possible to be too sweet? Last weekend when I went out with a girl I've known a few years, we got a little drunk and totally unexpected she kissed me, I've liked this girl since the moment I met her but be...
A. 9 February 2013: She sounds like a girl-player who uses the ".. you're so sweet that I am no good for you... so I have to dump you..." line when she gets tired of playing with her guy- conquests...
There's nothing you, or any of the other guys, could do to make ... (read in full...)
I don't want kids!
Q. I'm a 23 year old male with a 23 year old girlfriend. We have been together since we were 17ish, had 1 or 2 breaks, but now were serious and committed. I live with her mum dad and sis, and have done for a couple of years now. We are happy and ha...
A. 9 February 2013: You should "man up" and decide - for sure - if you DO or DON'T want to be a father to (any number of) children....
IF you don't wish to be... then you need to tell this girl that having children is a "deal breaker" for you.... and that any pros... (read in full...)
Why didn't he tell me about this close female friend of his? Why has he saved hundreds of emails? And why is he buying this woman gifts that I don't even know about?
Q. I don't know if I'm overreacting or not... I hope someone can help me clear this up in my head. I have discovered that my husband of less than a year has a close female friend that until the other day, I did not know about. I found out when he left ...
A. 9 February 2013: He didn't tell you because guys rarely - if ever - tell their wives about the "bit that they are keeping on the side...."
You've got all the data you need to ask HIM all the questions that you posed herein.... AND, his replies will tell you if y... (read in full...)
What are his intentions? ignores me for several weeks, then sends a text.
Q. I dated this very good looking man for about 6 weeks. He texted me as soon as he woke up every day and we saw each other once or twice a week. Then we had a fight because I got jealous over his female friends and he put me in my place by clarifying ...
A. 8 February 2013: Sometimes, I wish I were a "very good looking man".... so that I could experience what it's like to have a woman like you fawning all over me and putting up with my shenanigans (a form of disinterest).... and not "calling me" on it....
I'd b... (read in full...)
Why can't I have both love and passion from the guy I'm going to marry... isn't that the way it's supposed to be?
Q. Hello Aunts, I've been with my fiance for just about three years now, wedding is planned for 11 months from now. He is perfect for me in almost every way, and I for him. He was in a real bad place for many years prior to meeting me. He was stil...
A. 8 February 2013: I think you need to think long and hard about whether or not you want to walk down that aisle - eleven months from now - and pledge yourself to "'til death do us part" in the life that you have now previewed....
Believe me.... NOBODY "changes... (read in full...)
Why has my Fbuddy become so dis-interested in joining me for sex? He says he cares.What can I do?
Q. hi friends, i am 20 years old and my sexual partner is 27. he is as of now my Fbuddy. we both share mutual trust and love in our relationship. i am quite a pest. i expect him to be the boyfriend and do all the expected acts of kindness. we stated...
A. 8 February 2013: I believe that your "issue" is that HE is still in an "FBuddy" relationship.... whilest YOU (to yourself) have modified (internalized) the relationship to a more "traditional" relationship in which the partners are more to one-another than ... (read in full...)
I cannot match what he spent on me for my Birthday. So what should I consider instead for his B'day that would still be meaningful to him?
Q. This isn't one of the most important questions, but basically, my boyfriend bought me a £120 tiffanys necklace for my 16th birthday, its the most expensive thing anyone has ever bought me. His birthday is coming up at the end of this month, and w...
A. 8 February 2013: My advice may seem a bit unconventional.... but here it is:
DON'T get in to a contest - with this guy or any other guy - in which you and he measure the prices spent on presents for one-another.... Real presents come from one's heart... and the ... (read in full...)
She went back to the baby's daddy, but I'm still wondering if there's hope
Q. Ok, my ex is back with her baby's daddy. Yet she told me she wishes she was with me, and was even gonna move out to be with me again. Then she just up and said she is staying with him. He just had his 3rd child, by the third different woman, 3 ...
A. 8 February 2013: I "read" your submittal as an 8-line question with a lifetime of drama in it..... I suggest that you move on, forget this girl and live a comfortable life without her.....
Good luck...... (read in full...)
I'm At A Total Loss, I Need Help My Wife's Anxiety Has Killed Our Relationship
Q. This is a first for me, asking for help on the Internets. Thank you in advance for reading and or responding. My question is whether the issue that I will describe below can be 'fixed', whether I need to separate with a view to trying to save our ...
A. 8 February 2013: I recall that, during the Vietnam War, some of the guys who served there would comment - about conditions there: "When you are up to your ass in alligators, it's hard to keep in mind that you went there to drain the swamp." Sounds like that ... (read in full...)
Betrayed! He lied about his age and said he had no children. I was infatuated with him. Should I tell him I know he lied?
Q. I need help and opinions. Keep in mind I know how reckless I have been with my own heart and I don't need you to tell me that... I am 19 years old. I met a man at work I was completely infatuated with and I gave him my number. He ended up calli...
A. 7 February 2013: Unfortunately, you've opened yourself up for a "parent"-like reply to your submittal.....
HERE are the telling sentences: "I just figured he was always busy which he said he was..." and, "...Keep in mind he told me he was 29 with no kids..."... (read in full...)
Retroactive jealousy is tearing us apart
Q. my partner and i have been together for 8 years, hes just gone 40 and i m 36. we have been friends for 19 years after meeting when i was 17 and seeing each other for a few months. we stayed friends after this and i had my son with someone else and ...
A. 7 February 2013: My viewpoint would be that your partner has taken a fancy to another girl... and is in a mental turmoil.... because he KNOWS that YOU KNOW that his fidelity is fragile....
....AND SO, he is fabricating "difficulties" between the two of you, bec... (read in full...)
I seem to be angry about something that was an issue a year ago!
Q. Hi. I am 29, and this is my third year with my boyfriend, who is 7 years older and divorced 4 years before we met, he has 1 child. When we met we just had a good connection in terms of interests, personality, company, chemistry, everyting was there. ...
A. 7 February 2013: You write: "...we can't afford to get married right now.."... and, "...The only other problem we have is that money is tight and we can't afford to get married right now, but it is not something we fight about. We are not engaged yet officially and ... (read in full...)
My parents aren't giving me the freedom I deserve
Q. Hi I'm 21 yrs old and I'm having some trouble issues with my family,especially my father.I'm the tybe of guy who doesn't have many friend maybe 2 or 3 friends(guys)and I think my parents cause this to me.I barely go out and have fun with friends ...
A. 7 February 2013: If/when you are someone's child (son or daughter) and you live in their home, then you are subject to their (your parents' or guardians') rules.... THAT is a simple matter.
IF you transgress those rules, then you are subject to the sanction... (read in full...)
We tried to move past his cheating but I'm recently starting to resent him for many things, how do I approach this situation?
Q. I don't even know where to start with this be here goes. So I have been in a 3 and half yeah relationship with my boyfriend. He cheated on me but we decided to move on together and move past the situation. We have gone on to have a little boy and...
A. 7 February 2013: Katiey: In your follow-up, you write: "So I did if I kick him out he has no one he's cut his family off and if feel bad for kicking him into the street."
You are NOT RESPONSIBLE for this person who is - by the numbers - an ADULT!!!! IF he has p... (read in full...)
We tried to move past his cheating but I'm recently starting to resent him for many things, how do I approach this situation?
Q. I don't even know where to start with this be here goes. So I have been in a 3 and half yeah relationship with my boyfriend. He cheated on me but we decided to move on together and move past the situation. We have gone on to have a little boy and...
A. 6 February 2013: So... you've outlined for us that MANY reasons why you should part ways with this man-child..... Please give us a follow up letting us know when you are actually going to do it (dump his sorry bottom!)......
Good luck....... (read in full...)
My experience of an LDR has been flawed by his need for a FWB as well. I refused the latter. Can LDR partners stay faithful?
Q. can people mix up long distance friends with benefits relationship with a committed faithful long distance relationship meaning? I was in a long distance relationship and thought he was faithful for the year prior to my trip to meet him. He ke...
A. 6 February 2013: If men (collectively) would be just one TENTH as creative at solving the world's social/cultural/economic and political problems as we are at coming up with outlandish "justifications" for why women should go to bed and put out for us.... wouldn't ... (read in full...)
Does low self-esteem lead to infidelity?
Q. Just trying to make sense of something that probably isn't easy to make sense of. I recently broke up with my longtime gf of nearly 6 years after catching her in an inappropriate text/email/Facebook "flirtation" and the subsequent lies she made in ...
A. 5 February 2013: While it may be that some form of rejection in a girl's childhood may make her crave attention... I think that a girl is more likely to be a bed-hopper if she has succumbed to so much of the media that is telling her how important it is to be ... (read in full...)
Were we right to breakup? Should I try to get back together with my ex? We broke up after Christmas.
Q. This is kinda long ... thanks for slogging through it. My bf and I broke up right after Christmas. It was a mutual decision after several years together. He's kind, funny, generous (would give the shirt off his back to a stranger who needed it), ...
A. 5 February 2013: So, let me re-state your question through my eyes:
"I have been 5 years in an emotional/sensual/sexual/ communication desert.... and recently came upon an oasis, in the form of breaking away from my desert-mate... and now I have an opportun... (read in full...)
Am I reading too much into the actions of my very nice boss?
Q. Ok, basically I have a problem at work. From the moment I met my boss, I thought he was familiar and I couldn't place my finger on it, I still can’t. The thing is he's always stared at me, and made a point of talking to me. He made me feel I ...
A. 5 February 2013: Point 1: IF you like the job you have... then you could return to it.... BUT the prospects are that you will have to rebuff this cad so firmly that he will see to it that you don't stay in that job until/unless you succumb to his advances.....
... (read in full...)
He's awesome. But would never date a HIV positive woman. Should I break up with him, or tell him I'm HIV positive?
Q. I am Hiv positive and have been positive for 10 years now I recently met this nice and awesome guy whom iv dated for 2 months now he always says he’s afraid of Hiv and he would never date a positive woman(he has never tested in his life) I don’t ...
A. 5 February 2013: I think there's a "middle ground" here....
Whilest HIV has its many complications.... suppose you and he met "on line"... and he said he would never date a black, or Jewish woman.... and you were black or Jewish... would you 'fess up, then, an... (read in full...)
I don't understand how I can have a successful relationship if I am not experienced and someone else is very far ahead of me
Q. I have never had a girlfriend or kissed a girl. Most people lose their virginity when they are teenagers and keep getting busy after that. i don't understand how i can have a successful relationship if i am not experienced and someone else is very ...
A. 5 February 2013: Believe me, OP, there is a delightful girl "out there"... .who you are going to encounter.... (who KNOWS how "experienced" she will be?)..... BUT, she will be charmed by your inexperience, and will be so pleased and excited to meet a guy who is not ... (read in full...)
I don't understand how I can have a successful relationship if I am not experienced and someone else is very far ahead of me
Q. I have never had a girlfriend or kissed a girl. Most people lose their virginity when they are teenagers and keep getting busy after that. i don't understand how i can have a successful relationship if i am not experienced and someone else is very ...
A. 4 February 2013: What makes you think that sexually-experienced people are "ahead" of you.... Has it ever occurred to you that, just maybe, they are "behind" you.... and YOU are in the lead???????
Be patient..... Mother Nature has a way of levelling off the play... (read in full...)
Our relationship has changed since I've been pregnant, what should I do?
Q. My relationship has changed since I've been pregnant, and not for the better. My husband and I used to be very active together, but since I've become pregnant, I've had to change my fitness routines, so we don't share that bond anymore. On the ...
A. 4 February 2013: You've mentioned "fitness routines" and "activities" which are different now from what they were before you were pregnant.... WHAT are those "fitness routines" and "activities".... and WHY have they (had to) changed so dramatically that you have had ... (read in full...)
I got drunk and made out with co-worker. My husband said don't ever tell him if I cheat but I can't handle the guilt!
Q. I did something awful and I don't know what to do. I was out of town for work and was hanging out with other people in my field. We were drinking and a man who's very well known in my field started paying attention to me and I was flattered even ...
A. 4 February 2013: You hubby is a pretty saavy guy...
He gave you tacit, or implied, consent for you to fool around.... and YOU took him up on it - in a manner of speaking - and now, YOU have to live with the guilt...
He's a GENIUS!!!!
I hope you figure out... (read in full...)
What should I do if my boyfriend asks for sex?
Q. Dear cupid, am 16 and a virgin i love my b/f very much but what should i do if he ask for sex?...
A. 4 February 2013: If he asks for sex, you say to him (VERY POLITELY!):
"Thanks for your solicitation, but I think that sex (I'm assuming that you mean intercourse) is out of the question for me, now..... as I'm only 16 or 17.... and that's 'way to intimate and comp... (read in full...)
I found out the guy I'm dating was posting for no strings sex on Craig's List! What should I do?
Q. I started dating this guy who's really sweet and nice but I found out that before we met he was posting looking for no strings sex in the casual sex ads on Craigslist which I'm a little freaked out about. (he didn't tell me, I kind of stumbled on it ...
A. 4 February 2013: You take a moment out of ear-shot of anyone else.... like in the back seat of his '56 Chevy, out at Makeout Point .... and you say: "You know, Hunchy-Bunchy, I happened to see that you were on (Web-site name, here) looking for NSA sex.... and it ... (read in full...)
Does anyone else feel cursed?
Q. I wonder if anybody has the same experience I do? It is very hard to find any info on this subject, and Im hoping someone might knows the right resources for me, So I have this strong feeling, that I have been ''cursed'' or something like that. So...
A. 4 February 2013: You could always go on-line and have one of Dionne Warwick's psychics check you out - long distance.....
Good luck....... (read in full...)
I don't want to be my boyfriend's doormat but I am!
Q. Hi My bf of 3 years didnt contact me for a week, tod he called me and said he was busy. Thats it no explanation watsver for his behaviour and no aplologies and now he is not picking up his call again. I know he is not treating me right. I want...
A. 4 February 2013: Do you and he live at the same address?
IF "yes," then pack all your things and GO SOMEWHERE ELSE - NOW!!!!! - AND STAY "SOMEWHERE ELSE"..... and NEVER return to where you were....
If "no," then stay where you are.... never go near this creep ... (read in full...)
Escape from this narcissistic lover
Q. My lover is a Narcissist but perhaps this is it.. First off all I am going to post a link so you can see what has been happening http://www.dearcupid.org/question/jeky...
A. 4 February 2013: BElieve me.... you are NOT "lost".... what you are doing is making your way out of the quagmire that was your mental prison, as long as you spent ANY time with this guy....
I hope you happen upon more-civilized surroundings, soon, so that you will... (read in full...)
Did I do the right thing getting back with my ex?
Q. Hello I am in a dire situation. I am 21 and my girlfriend is 22. It's long and please be patient with me. My ex and I broke up two months ago after 3 years of relationship together. the only reason she gave me at that time (why she broke up wit...
A. 4 February 2013: Following your re-submittal:
IF you are are holding out, and hoping that someone/anyone will come up with some valid reason why you shouldn't terminate this futile excuse for a relationship - "...I wish there were more posts ..." then you are ... (read in full...)
Escape from this narcissistic lover
Q. My lover is a Narcissist but perhaps this is it.. First off all I am going to post a link so you can see what has been happening http://www.dearcupid.org/question/jeky...
A. 3 February 2013: Have you ever heard this?: "Holding on to a grudge (or living with thoughts of someone who is poison to you) is like letting a vagrant live in your brain, rent-free"????
Because THAT is what it "sounds" like you are doing. IF you ever want to ... (read in full...)
I feel completely heartbroken, I'd accepted that we had broken up but to be lied to repeatedly just for sex?
Q. This all happened within the space of three weeks. So, basically I was in a relationship with this guy for just over two years, we both loved each other but obviously argued occasionally, as people do. One day, he calls me to have a chat, everythi...
A. 3 February 2013: You write: "My question is, do you think trying to be friends with him again would be a bad idea?"
My answer is: YES.... it's a TERRIBLE idea..... You can only dump and distance yourself from a partner by having no contact with them....... (read in full...)
The guy I was seeing moved into my shared house and spied on my female roomie. Did I overreact when I told him to move out?
Q. I been seeing a guy for a while, we are not a couple but we get along well, we like each other and we enjoy together. He was living in a place with other people but their lease finished so he asked me if he can move to mine. I agreed with it but I ...
A. 2 February 2013: Sounds like you got to go over one of the "speed bumps" of life..... Many people experience them.....
Think nothing of it.... put it behind you.... and look forward to those times - in the future - when you will enjoy the company of a NICE guy... (read in full...)
Date night with boyfriend turned into a lads night out. Should I be upset?
Q. I'd like an outside opinion on this if possible please. My boyfriend and I only see each other once or twice per week max due to our working schedules. We had arranged to go on a date night to the cinema tonight after he finished work. However, he ...
A. 2 February 2013: You write: "Am I being silly for being upset about this? We have been together for almost 4 years and we have argued about him putting his friends first before."
Nope, you're NOT "silly" for being upset. You WOULD be silly if you DIDN'T get upse... (read in full...)
He just cheats on me spirtually every 2 months, but defends himself saying he enjoys being a player...should I marry him?
Q. My boyfriend of 7 month now is driving me crazy with the childishness he do frequently, and by "drives me crazy" i mean insecure! -he is great in bed, if we have free time of 5 hours we simply did it for four hours, like 3 times or so! -very ten...
A. 2 February 2013: You write: "...but i will not fall weak for his kindness!! I HOPE!"
HOPE, SCHMOPE!!!! Drop those two words and live by the rest of this comment!!!!!
Good luck...... (read in full...)
Why would anyone refuse a free trip to a tropical paradise? Why won't my boyfriend come to see my family with me?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for two years and we've been living together, with his family, for a long time. I got a big promotion at work and finally was able to buy plane tickets to see my little brother and mother in Florida. I've been so ...
A. 2 February 2013: I wouldn't waste the time posing and ruminating about the questions that you've posed in this submittal.....
Instead, I'd go to Florida... see my family... and, if what's-his-name is there when you get back.... I'd say to him, "You know, hunchy-b... (read in full...)
29-year-old man in loving relationship but attracted to older women....
Q. I am a 29-year-old male, in a loving relationship with a 27-year-old female. We've been together for about 5 years. We live together, and have a wonderful time. We never argue (**really**) and we haven't lost any intimacy or closeness. My p...
A. 2 February 2013: I think what you are really saying is: "I have this child-like obsession about women who are more the age of my Mother..... and I'm quite certain that I'm willing to scuttle my age-appropriate relationship with a GREAT girl who loves me.... and who ... (read in full...)
Did I do the right thing getting back with my ex?
Q. Hello I am in a dire situation. I am 21 and my girlfriend is 22. It's long and please be patient with me. My ex and I broke up two months ago after 3 years of relationship together. the only reason she gave me at that time (why she broke up wit...
A. 2 February 2013: I found ONE sentence in your submittal.... which sentence made it oh-so-easy to give you my sage advice.....
The sentence: "I love her but in my mind, I know we are not compatible..."
The advice: Don't spend another minute trying to figure... (read in full...)
Escape from this narcissistic lover
Q. My lover is a Narcissist but perhaps this is it.. First off all I am going to post a link so you can see what has been happening http://www.dearcupid.org/question/jeky...
A. 29 January 2013: This guy gives you so much despair and angst.....
WHY would you spend one more MINUTE with him? .... and/or expend one iota of mental energy on him?????
Only if you are content with a future that duplicates your past.... and you're satisfied... (read in full...)
He just cheats on me spirtually every 2 months, but defends himself saying he enjoys being a player...should I marry him?
Q. My boyfriend of 7 month now is driving me crazy with the childishness he do frequently, and by "drives me crazy" i mean insecure! -he is great in bed, if we have free time of 5 hours we simply did it for four hours, like 3 times or so! -very ten...
A. 29 January 2013: In all your glowing and gushy submittal, THIS phrase stands out: "(He's) a great actor in front of people yet swears he would never act on me...."
Sorry to advise that, yes, he has acted on you... AND he continues to "act on" you.... AND, des... (read in full...)
I feel completely heartbroken, I'd accepted that we had broken up but to be lied to repeatedly just for sex?
Q. This all happened within the space of three weeks. So, basically I was in a relationship with this guy for just over two years, we both loved each other but obviously argued occasionally, as people do. One day, he calls me to have a chat, everythi...
A. 26 January 2013: YOu may reconcile that guys are peculiar creatures... and, when we get the chance to bed ANOTHER girl - despite our promises to a different one (you!)... we sometimes jump at it.....KNOWING, FULL WELL, THAT IT'S GOING TO SCREW UP THE GREAT ... (read in full...)
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